Friends

tipp.angel

Hi everyone..

Does anyone find it hard to become friends with ppl..or even get out to meet ppl. Sometimes life can be so lonely...does anybody else struggle?

bear1

I'll be there for you...

lc180

Trying to make friends in a new city as a 30 something adult is so f**kin hard and weirdly stressful.
My reccomendation if you are struggling is to used the MeetUp app. Loads of different events and groups, bound to be something for everyone's cup of tea.

punisher5112

Get a cat ya be grand...

Ursummupet

Get off the internet and out into the real world.

Seriously, it's detrimental to the psyche hanging out with losers you've never met.

fleet_admiral

How many fedora's do you own?

Fr_Dougal

dxhound2005

fleet_admiral wrote: »

How many fedora's do you own?

They probably have fou'r or fiv'e.

justfillmein

just ask people in work/college if they would like to go out for a coffee or a drink sometime.
or maybe ask if they would like to join you for lunch in so & so place?
if they say no, they say no.
but it might be something that they would be up for.
or maybe organize a quiz night as a group rather than putting yourself out there on your own?

drinks is usually the way to brake the ice

good luck with it:)

AnneFrank

No such thing.

Gen.Zhukov

dxhound2005 wrote: »

They probably have fou'r or fiv'e.

Era yuo so anoied abut a tipo thad yuo falt yuo hed to pust thad%=

MilesMorales1

I do, I struggle with it considerably. I don't drink alcohol either, which makes it much harder, as an adult anyway.

Ulysses Gaze

justfillmein

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

I don't drink alcohol either, which makes it much harder, as an adult anyway.

definitely.

I rarely drink, but i'm always up for coffee/cappuccino/tea. cake!
bring cake and I will be your friend:p

MilesMorales1

justfillmein wrote: »

definitely.

I rarely drink, but i'm always up for coffee/cappuccino/tea. cake!
bring cake and I will be your friend:p

But what if I want all the cake?

justfillmein

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

But what if I want all the cake?

I also like biscuits:pac:

justfillmein

and chocolate

justfillmein

and just plain aul good company:cool:

donegaLroad

This was never a problem when I was young, and I have hung onto the friends I made years ago... but technology has changed how young people interact. For example, last year I became friendly with a girl 19 years younger than me, she did some work for me. I found that she communicated with me through social media & WhatsApp much more than she did face to face.

There is a generation of people now, who are facing isolation because the skill of meaningful social interaction has been lost through technology (imho)

Filmer Paradise

tipp.angel wrote: »

Hi everyone..

Does anyone find it hard to become friends with ppl..or even get out to meet ppl. Sometimes life can be so lonely...does anybody else struggle?

Hard to tell. not much info here.

If your rural & over 20 tis hard to make new friends unless your into the GAA or something like the Civil Defence or something like that.

In the cities you can google any special interest you have & join up with likeminded people locally fairly quickly.

You need to give us more info on yourself though for more help though.

Donald Trump

donegaLroad wrote: »

This was never a problem when I was young, and I have hung onto the friends I made years ago... but technology has changed how young people interact. For example, last year I became friendly with a girl 19 years younger than me, she did some work for me. I found that she communicated with me through social media & WhatsApp much more than she did face to face.

There is a generation of people now, who are facing isolation because the skill of meaningful social interaction has been lost through technology (imho)

Hehe

Working girl alight I'd say

ThinkProgress

@OP - Just walk up to someone on a bus or train some fine day...

And if they have their face buried in their iphone etc... don't worry, just quickly slap the phone out of their hand, and then extend your own hand as a gesture of friendliness! Remember to smile as well... very important... You don't want them to think you are some kind of aggressive A-hole, looking for a fight or something...

Then just shout loudly (but friendly ) "I was just wondering if you would like to be friends? And as a sign of our new blossoming friendship, I will replace your now smashed phone with a brand new and more expensive one - free of charge!"

This has a very high % chance of success IMHO, mostly because of the offer of free high value electronics! But just remember, that you will probably need to keep supplying free high value gifts for at least the first year or two of your new friendship... but I'm sure you will agree, this is a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things, for the chance at forming a lifelong friendship!

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

sparrowcar

tipp.angel wrote: »

Hi everyone..

Does anyone find it hard to become friends with ppl..or even get out to meet ppl. Sometimes life can be so lonely...does anybody else struggle?

Join a club, group or volunteer for something.
I've been involved in various things over the years and there will always be that one person who seems alone at first but over time ended up part of the group.

Put yourself out there and have some patience.
Also remember you raised a child, if you can do that then you can achieve anything you set your mind too.

KERSPLAT!

Patww79 wrote: »

The answer you'll always get on here is Meetup. I think they sponsor Boards at this stage.

8 years here and I've never heard of the place!

Try_harder

Friends are overrated

myshirt

Couples have Valentine's day, but single people always have Palm Sunday.

Loneliness is all about the way you look at it.

erica74

I struggle too. I think it's quite difficult for adults to make friends because we're a lot more guarded and have a lot of baggage, compared to some children and teenagers. By baggage I mean emotional baggage as well as all of the adult commitments and responsibilities we have to juggle.
I also agree with other posters, you have opportunities if you're in a city or large town but anywhere rural, you're very limited.

I find it extremely difficult to open up to people and I don't trust anyone so I'm not exactly a great candidate for friendship.

greenspurs

Join a sports club ? soccer, gaa , cycling, running.

darkdubh

When I saw the thread title I thought Sam Boland was at it again

My youngest moved to a new city to be with her boyfriend so one evening in the pub she got talking to another girl who she discovered has also moved there she asked her to meet for coffee and they became friends, its something you have to make an effort about.

erica74

greenspurs wrote: »

Join a sports club ? soccer, gaa , cycling, running.

Not sure if this is directed at me, if it is, unfortunately, none of those are an option for me.

donegaLroad

Donald Trump wrote: »

Hehe

Working girl alight I'd say

yes, you would assume that Mr. Trump :pac:

Boom_Bap

I'm at the age where typically one just has their group of friends and that's it.
But, I did make a new friend last year, he's sound. We see each other when we drop the kids off at school and it's like this



We then turn into the biggest kids there.

Professor Moriarty

Well done to the OP for opening up about themselves and their loneliness. That takes guts. And fair dos to the Me Too posters offering advice. To those that are just mocking the OP's situation, why not just piss right off?

Try_harder

I found as I grew older I prefer my own company. I have a few friends but I'm not mad for the socialising etc and I can go for a year without seeing some of them

Hector Bellend

Oddly, my usual advice of "have a ****" seems appropriate here.

justfillmein

Hector Bellend wrote: »

Oddly, my usual advice of "have a ****" seems appropriate here.

yup, you even advice this to woman too. at least you are being consistent:P

jimbobaloobob

Try_harder wrote: »

Friends are overrated

You should have heard that documentary on RTE 1 yesterday 'the mouse in the corner' friends being overrated was a common thought in it

Some i would agree about

chsdeddijj

I'm 60 but still feel 40 inside. No friends since stopping work years ago, they all moved away. I'm married but feel very lonely and would love a good friend to have a laugh with, which is something I rarely do anymore, (laugh) that is.
Thing is I don't know how to find one.

ChikiChiki

Follow your passion. You will meet people over a shared interest.

OneArt

Making friends is actually incredibly easy.
You just have to be very open to chatting to and getting to known lots of different types of people. Even people you wouldn't normally think you'd get on with. And I'm saying that having lived in Germany for 7+ years, a country where people aren't known for their outward friendliness and openness to strangers (I'm also not particularly loud, extroverted or sociable). A lot of the blocks are in your own head. You also have to take a big step outside your comfort zone. Of course, involving yourself in different groups/activities is also a key element.
The biggest problem I have is maintaining an active friendship... I'll meet interesting people and then suddenly it two weeks past the time we were supposed to meet for a beer.

henryforde80

ChikiChiki wrote: »

Follow your passion. You will meet people over a shared interest.

Best advice you can ever come across.

van_beano

Your only friend is your pocket.

punisher5112

van_beano wrote: »

Your only friend is your pocket.

Dogs don't fit in there...

van_beano

punisher5112 wrote: »

Dogs don't fit in there...

Pockets come in different sizes :cool:

I think as we get older it becomes difficult. Like another poster said we accumulate so much baggage and defenses and suspicions that it can be harder to connect. My own friends consider of a handful of very close relationships and the odd aquaintance. Sometimes I get a bit lonely in Dublin, especially if himself is away, and I find it's the company of female friendship I miss the most.

Sometimes I'd just love to meet another girl for a drink after work or go for lunch on a Saturday. Or cocktails on a Friday night. I have reached out but it wasn't reciprocated. That's life I suppose.

Ragnar Lothbrok

Do you work Tipp.angel? If so, this is perhaps the easiest way to make new friends, as you spend many hours together doing the same thing. Whether you love your job or hate it, you will at least have something in common.

I'd imagine it would be much harder to meet people if you don't work, so you would need to make the effort to join in a group you'd be interested in (as lots of other posters have advised).