Nostalgic depression?

tomofson

I have been suffering a great deal with this over the last 6 months to a year or there about.

I miss everything about my teenage years and preteens, I turned 26 a few days ago and it kills me those years from around 02 - 09 are long gone and behind us, I particularly liked the year of 07 for some reason, I would have been fifteen that year and it was the last year I truly felt innocent as I lost a close relative in 08, that was the first time life really hurt.

But the following year or two wasn't too bad as I still had other relatives to rely on, but now I am all alone.

I miss my teenage years and preteen years and I just wish i could relive them all over again, you know I even miss the things that used to annoy me like those annoying songs on the radio, I used to hate them back then but I love them now because they remind me of a better time. I even miss seeing "grift" and "DROP" spray canned around the place. I just miss the general teen feeling too.

I miss that skater fashion, ye know the really baggy trousers and the chains hanging off and the baggy hoodies with skulls and stuff, I went through that from around the age of 10(02) to 14(06). When it eventually died out like all fashions do.

I dont even know what the point is of me making this thread, suppose I just want to know is this normal? Or does anyone else even remember those times and miss them like I do?

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

I think what you have is pretty common or at least I hope so, because I have it too sometimes!
I went through a breakup when I turned 26 and I instantly went from a carefree person into a period of bad depression and nostalgia and back again to some normality.

Part of the reason I think is that nowadays especially is the fact that the internet is so old now you can Google things from years ago whereas back in 2002 you'd be lucky to be able Google anything from 1992 say.

Ursus Horribilis

tomofson wrote: »

IBut the following year or two wasn't too bad as I still had other relatives to rely on, but now I am all alone.

I think this line from your post says it all. Would I be right in assuming that you're now lonely and don't really have anybody in your life to turn to? How are things going for you in general? Have you a job? Friends? A social life?

I've got lots of lovely memories of that time in my life. I think what I like most about it is that on the one hand I was gaining independence and getting to do lots of things I wanted. On the other, my life was still wonderfully uncomplicated and mostly consisted of home, school, listening to music, playing sports, listening to music and hanging around with my friends. Now I'm sitting trying to work out a household budget and thinking about a presentation I've to give in work this week. Give me the summer when I was 14 any day!

The difference is, I don't hanker for those days in the way you are. It sounds like you're stuck in that era because it was the last time in your life that you were happy. The only thing I can suggest to you is that you try to make new happy memories. You've not told us a lot about your present life and perhaps that in itself is telling. You're not happy in your own skin now. Why?

What you describe reminds me of 'saudade'. Can't link on the phone, but maybe give it a google.

tomofson

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I think this line from your post says it all. Would I be right in assuming that you're now lonely and don't really have anybody in your life to turn to? How are things going for you in general? Have you a job? Friends? A social life?

I've got lots of lovely memories of that time in my life. I think what I like most about it is that on the one hand I was gaining independence and getting to do lots of things I wanted. On the other, my life was still wonderfully uncomplicated and mostly consisted of home, school, listening to music, playing sports, listening to music and hanging around with my friends. Now I'm sitting trying to work out a household budget and thinking about a presentation I've to give in work this week. Give me the summer when I was 14 any day!

The difference is, I don't hanker for those days in the way you are. It sounds like you're stuck in that era because it was the last time in your life that you were happy. The only thing I can suggest to you is that you try to make new happy memories. You've not told us a lot about your present life and perhaps that in itself is telling. You're not happy in your own skin now. Why?

I have no job not many friends and no social life. Plus no real family.
And that is basically the reason I'm not happy. I just wish I could be happy again like in those days.

Ursus Horribilis

tomofson wrote: »

I have no job not many friends and no social life. Plus no real family.
And that is basically the reason I'm not happy. I just wish I could be happy again like in those days.

Hankering after a past you cannot relive is going to get you nowhere. You can't change the past but you've got control over the present and the future. If you're willing to make changes in your life you can be happy again.

So why have you no job? Is there anything you can to to change this? If you need to upskill, find out what options are available to you. You're of an age where you can go to college as a mature student. You'd also be able to do other training or trades. If you've already been to college but are not having luck with the job hunting, have someone look at your CV and do interview training.

Look into volunteering. It'd get you out of the house, into the habit of meeting people and will be something for your CV. Take a look to see what sort of meetups are happening in your area.

I know that none of these are easy for you to do but they're practical steps. They've got to be better than sitting at home, hankering for something you'll never have again. What you're experiencing isn't nostalgia. It's you shooting yourself in the foot and depriving yourself of a better future.

Airyfairy12

tomofson wrote: »

I have no job not many friends and no social life. Plus no real family.
And that is basically the reason I'm not happy. I just wish I could be happy again like in those days.

I think what youre going through is normal. I still miss my teenage years and although I hated school id give anything to be a teenager again just for a day. They really are the best days of your life.

That said theres no reason why you cant be happy and content again. Youre not working and youve no social life, do you mind spending time on your own? I strongly believe that you cant make new friends without doing some work on yourself and maybe learning how to be alone would be a good way to improve your wellbeing, take this time to get to know yourself. Youre nostalgic for your younger years but youre not that person anymore, while most of the people you knew back then have moved on and created new lives for themselves youre stuck and havnt carved a new identity for yourself.
What hobbies do you have? if youre into music then immerse yourself in it, collect records, read books on bands and genres you like. If you like sports or working out join an MMA group or sports club, if youre into art or photography join a photography group or life drawing classes and learn about artists and styles of art.
You need to learn what your likes and interests are and who you are as an adult. Also actively pursuing hobbies and interests will not only introduce you to more people, it will fill up your days, make you a more interesting person and you'll learn new things too. Its also great for your mental health. Theres no harm in trying.
Have you thought about going back to education to upskill and to increase your employment opportunities? What level of education do you currently have?

tomofson

snowoutsidse28 wrote: »

Hey OP,

I think what you have is pretty common or at least I hope so, because I have it too sometimes!
I went through a breakup when I turned 26 and I instantly went from a carefree person into a period of bad depression and nostalgia and back again to some normality.

Part of the reason I think is that nowadays especially is the fact that the internet is so old now you can Google things from years ago whereas back in 2002 you'd be lucky to be able Google anything from 1992 say.

You know me all too well, that is what i do most days is google stuff that reminds me of those days, I even look up the old bebo on the archive sites because that was my thing back in the day.

It is beautiful but painful at the same time.

XVII

even the fresh air was different, wasn't it? It had unique smell. And the colours were brighter.
and it feels like something was switched off inside you since then.

I had this exactly at 26, too. It did hurt a lot, and sometimes still does.
It's part of growing up, OP. The pain will go eventually, but the memories will stay.

pkvader

Are you on social media?,is it possible to contact some old friends from that period of your life and catch up?.I think everyone pines for a period of their youth,im in my late 30s married with kids,but always kept contact with my friends from my teens/early 20s.While we are all busy with life we still make time to meet up every few months for a drink or a gig/concert/match.Do you still live in the same area close to old friends?.

Ursus Horribilis

Do you want to change though? Or do you want to stay in this time warp? You've been given plenty of advice but you're not acknowledging it in any meaningful way. It is possible to be nostalgic and live in the present. You seem to have made the decision to halt your evolution into a functioning adult.

woodchuck

OP it sounds like you have way too much time on your hands. You should be focusing on the present and looking forward to the future, not fixated on the past.

Are you looking for work?
If not, then start looking.
There are also plenty of other ways to fill your time that will make your life more fulfilling. Get yourself out there socialising. Even if you don't have friends to go out with, join a club, look up meetup groups etc. You could also look into volunteering.

LegacyUser

I agree with previous posts that you have far, far too much time on your hands. I do empathize with what you say you're feeling - I think that time is special to look back on for many people, because its a unique time where you can see the huge possibilities and potential your life holds, while being protected from many of the harsher realities of the world. Its lovely to look back sometimes over photos, reminisce with friends and listen to music that really takes you back.
Obviously, there comes a point where this becomes obsessive and detrimental behaviour. Maybe think about what 15/16 year old you expected and hoped to get from life, and try to see the potential your life still holds. Work out what changes you need to make so that in 10-20 years you'll be able to look back to this time and have something worth remembering.