Logistics of breaking up

orchidsrpretty

Myself and my partner are separating after 12 years (and two 3 year olds). It’s a very messy situation. He is extremely selfish and stubborn.
So we live in a county about 2 hours from where both our families live. The kids are in preschool here. When we move out of here I will have to quit my job and move back and live my mother. My job is very low paid and i couldn’t afford childcare so I won’t be able to work. I can’t rely on him for childcare, even when we were together I would have to ring sick to work sometimes as he wouldn’t feel like minding the kids....
I’ve rang around all the preschools in a 20mile radius and they are all booked up for the duration that my kids would be attending so this means they are going to miss out on the preschool years. I have no option to move anywhere else as I have a mortgage on a separate property with someone else and don’t have a get out clause ( there is 5 years left on this mortgage; we will be selling when complete).
Apart from the sadness of the relationship breaking down but it has been coming along time, it’s just going to turn mine and the kids lives completely upside down and they are going to miss on the preschool experience because of it, they only started in January and they love it.
My head is just so all over the place. This was both ours first relationship and I just feel like my world has collapsed and have no idea how I’m ever going to start rebuilding it.

Lisha

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. It’s never easy but you are doing the right thing for you and your children.

GingerLily

Why do you need to sell the property mortgage free? Tell the other person you can't afford the payments anymore, so you want to sell. You need to free yourself of this obligation so you can devote your resources to your children.

Big Bag of Chips

If circumstances change then you have to adjust. You cannot afford the mortgage on the property. Put it on the market now. Sell, pay off the small mortgage left on it and take the cash to establish yourself somewhere. You will manage. And all preschools are not full! You will find one. You might find the problem is that the rules have changed so they can only enrol at a particular time. But if they are in the scheme then they should be able to transfer.

Right now it all seems impossible. It will work out, and you'll be better off.

December2012

Firstly go to mabs. Is it possible for you to stay where you are? Could you keep your children in their childcare and do childminding too?

Contact the bank you have your mortgage with and investigate what it will take to get you out of that mortgage, if you want out.

Airyfairy12

Wouldnt it be cheaper to get a childminder? Often experienced childminders are stay at home mothers or housewives themselves and mind the child in their own home. Lots of childminders now have qualifications in childcare which is all the preschool staff will have. Childminders also often mind a couple of children and perhaps have their own too so the child is still getting that social interaction.
Sell the house, you cant afford a mortgage.