Valentine's kinky shtuff with the other half MK1

fergus1001

What durty plans do you have with the other half for the weekend ahead

I'm heading off for a dirty weekend and bringing the whips and chains for the Craic

Tell us your plans and get roasted in after hours!

Mr. CooL ICE

Next week is shark week

whiskeyman

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Next week is shark week

That's as rough as any man can take

Kermit.de.frog

fergus1001 wrote: »

I'm heading off for a dirty weekend and bringing the whips and chains for the Craic

You're going to kill her?

whoopsadoodles

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Next week is shark week

Just after a good weekend then?

Jumper cables, Heretics Fork, Brazen Bull, Tongue Tearer, Iron Maiden*, sulphuric acid**, and a small basket of muffins***.

Can't wait.





*Not the band

**these threads invariably descend into a 'who's the kinkiest' competition, I'm just setting the bar.

***I hate muffins

Assetbacked

The lights will be left on and the socks will come off.

jimgoose

Is Valentine's Day now something like Good Friday, where you have to do the romantic/sexual equivalent of alcohol poisoning? In that case, yeah - I'm planning the full Josef Fritzl, but don't tell the girlfriend, she doesn't actually know she's the girlfriend yet.

Roger Hassenforder

Anyone know where i can get chloroform in Cork?

jimgoose

Candie wrote: »

Jumper cables, Heretics Fork, Brazen Bull, Tongue Tearer, Iron Maiden*, sulphuric acid**, and a small basket of muffins***.

Can't wait.





*Not the band

**these threads invariably descend into a 'who's the kinkiest' competition, I'm just setting the bar.

***I hate muffins

Ach, 'tis a fine sex-dungeon English, but sure it is no chainsaw and 50-gallon vat of custard.

corner of hells

fergus1001 wrote: »

What durty plans do you have with the other half for the weekend ahead

I'm heading off for a dirty weekend and bringing the whips and chains for the Craic

Tell us your plans and get roasted in after hours!

You didn't mention a girlfriend , OH or even a blow up doll , are you off in your own ?

Mint Sauce

Thinly veiled 'I have a girl/boyfriend' thread.

Four Phucs Ache

Silky bed spread, silky duvet and silky pillows are as kinky as we get.

I hate it because half the battle is the stop sliding off the fookin bed.

jimgoose

Four Phucs Ache wrote: »

Silky bed spread, silky duvet and silky pillows are as kinky as we get.

I hate it because half the battle is the stop sliding off the fookin bed.

I hear you. Constant scrabbling for traction, makes the oul' ride more like a tractor-pull gone wrong.

fergus1001

Mint Sauce wrote:

Thinly veiled 'I have a girl/boyfriend' thread.

Never mentioned that I could be off to whip myself for all you know

fergus1001

jimgoose wrote:

I hear you. Constant scrabbling for traction, makes the oul' ride more like a tractor-pull gone wrong.

I hear riding sideways is a good way of keeping the oul traction going

Keep her in low box or a creeper gear helps too

jimgoose

fergus1001 wrote: »

I hear riding sideways is a good way of keeping the oul traction going

Keep her in low box or a creeper gear helps too

Reverse-Cowgirl is the equivalent of lowering the stabilisers and working the back-bucket.

the purple tin

Sounds like some of ye are planning on re-enacting the martyrdom of St Val :eek:

LirW

Will be lying on the couch in a food coma because we overate on Pancake Tuesday (I'd say this is more important than valentines anyway).

Can we also please talk about how people can dislike muffins? @Candie

Boom_Bap

I'm going to be super romantic this year. It's going to blindside her, she'll never see it coming, it'll be the best present ever for her.

I will promise to try not to fart in bed for the night of the 14th.

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

...going to blindside her, she'll never see it coming...

That sounds spectacularly violent, fair play to you. :cool:

mfceiling

Hallway sex for us...

I'll pass her in the hall and both of us will mutter under our breath "Fùck you"

fergus1001

LirW wrote: »

Can we also please talk about how people can dislike muffins? @Candie

He’s not bluffin

jimgoose

I'm surprised no-one mentioned playing a game of "Lambs":

LirW

LirW wrote: »

Will be lying on the couch in a food coma because we overate on Pancake Tuesday (I'd say this is more important than valentines anyway).

Can we also please talk about how people can dislike muffins? @Candie

Up until now I never said it in public, it's been my dirty little secret.

My name is Candie, and I hate muffins. I don't like their shape or their texture and I'm not embarrassed to admit it. I'm a muffin hater.

Don't be disappointed in me, Lir.

LirW

Candie wrote: »

Up until now I never said it in public, it's been my dirty little secret.

My name is Candie, and I hate muffins. I don't like their shape or their texture and I'm not embarrassed to admit it. I'm a muffin hater.

Don't be disappointed in me, Lir.

It's okay, I hate apples and even worse: I despise Pizza!

Boom_Bap

Candie wrote: »

Up until now I never said it in public, it's been my dirty little secret.

My name is Candie, and I hate muffins. I don't like their shape or their texture and I'm not embarrassed to admit it. I'm a muffin hater.

Don't be disappointed in me, Lir.

What's your position on Fairy Cakes?

Boom_Bap

Boom_Bap wrote: »

What's your position on Fairy Cakes?

Fairy cakes are more acceptable than the cupcakes smothered in buttercream and sugar. I love the look of those but hate the taste.

I quite like a little spongy fairy cake with a nice cup of tea. Best of all is a nice oat and raisin cookie, I could eat those all day.

LirW

LirW wrote: »

It's okay, I hate apples and even worse: I despise Pizza!

I hate pizza too!

Sisters!

LirW

It's official, I spend Valentine's with Candie resenting Pizza restaurants

LirW

LirW wrote: »

It's official, I spend Valentine's with Candie resenting Pizza restaurants

And not eating muffins!

Loud music so I can have a loud **** without disturbing my housemate. Really treat myself.

fergus1001

I'm bringing a bag of carrots with me

whoopsadoodles

fergus1001 wrote: »

I'm bringing a bag of carrots with me

I don't think that's what she meant when she said she would bring her rabbit.

x43r0

fergus1001 wrote: »

I'm bringing a bag of carrots with me

Bringing some subs for when the main man taps out

A shrewd move

blue note

Nicolas Cage wrote:

Next week is shark week

Extra lube

fergus1001

x43r0 wrote:

Bringing some subs for when the main man taps out

Wouldn't be fond of cuckolding myself

Hammer89

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I'm going to be super romantic this year. It's going to blindside her, she'll never see it coming, it'll be the best present ever for her.

This indicates a simple blindfold.

fergus1001

Mediocre responses lads boardsies hang your head in shame lads And lassies!

jimgoose

No seriously. The girlfriend does actually know she's the girlfriend - I sent her a registered letter last week - and there will be surprisingly little Josef Fritzl stuff going on, aside from a small bit of "scrabbling for traction" maybe, never know yer luck in a small town...

On V-Day itself, we'll probably just nip out local-like for hamburgers'n'coke, followed by a nice evening of telly and snuggling. The following evening we'll have a proper dining experience in town with some nice wine, followed by, of all things, a Mary Black concert. After that, well, we're both off work the following day and the night is but a pup. :cool:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Next time we see each other we’re going to see 50 shades that’s as racy as things will get