Almost made a move on my straight friend

LegacyUser

This is a silly situation, but I was out with my friends on Saturday night. I had a few too many drinks and towards the end of the night I got chatting to a close friend of mine. He's pretty good looking, but I've never had any feelings for him.

So as we got chatting, he kept asking me questions about being gay (he knew I was gay already) and the questions led to me getting this mad idea that he was into me. I have no idea if he is or not, but it's likely not as he has is seeing a girl at the moment! I think I also given a strong impression that I was into him, but it was definitely the drink talking. My unclear memory also recalls making a move towards him but then I backed away, thankfully!

We both were very drunk, and have very limited recollection of the night. The problem is that the next day he started asking me about what we were talking about that night. I just laughed it off pretending I didn't remember, but I'm sure he remembers everything, particularly because he kept asking leading questions to see if I'd admit to anything.

What's the best way of dealing with this? Do I pretend it never happened or be honest and say that I just got beer goggles for him? I find it very difficult expressing myself so even admitting to someone that I found them attractive is torture to me!

I'm not sure if I should even be posting this in the LGBT forum or Personal Issues because I guess this could happen to any sexual orientation!

Locker10a

Just ignore, pretend nothing happened and move on, you’ll be surprised how quickly it’s forgotten

jobbridge4life

straightmove wrote: »

This is a silly situation, but I was out with my friends on Saturday night. I had a few too many drinks and towards the end of the night I got chatting to a close friend of mine. He's pretty good looking, but I've never had any feelings for him.

So as we got chatting, he kept asking me questions about being gay (he knew I was gay already) and the questions led to me getting this mad idea that he was into me. I have no idea if he is or not, but it's likely not as he has is seeing a girl at the moment! I think I also given a strong impression that I was into him, but it was definitely the drink talking. My unclear memory also recalls making a move towards him but then I backed away, thankfully!

We both were very drunk, and have very limited recollection of the night. The problem is that the next day he started asking me about what we were talking about that night. I just laughed it off pretending I didn't remember, but I'm sure he remembers everything, particularly because he kept asking leading questions to see if I'd admit to anything.

What's the best way of dealing with this? Do I pretend it never happened or be honest and say that I just got beer goggles for him? I find it very difficult expressing myself so even admitting to someone that I found them attractive is torture to me!

I'm not sure if I should even be posting this in the LGBT forum or Personal Issues because I guess this could happen to any sexual orientation!

Hi Straightmove,

Firstly I'd advise you to try to slow down your thinking on this (easier said than done I know!). You say yourself that you were both drinking heavily and recollections are not the best. You may be over analyzing the interactions because you are worried about the impact. Look at what you know concretely, he is still talking to you and in a friendly way. So there doesn't appear to be any damage done to the friendship.

If you do feel attracted to your friend, that is something you will have to deal with, and I'm really not trying to be judgmental here, but what you posted above seems a bit contradictory on this point, to me at least. If it is the case that you have a crush on this friend I think the first thing you need to do is acknowledge this, after that then you can look at what you might do about it.

Also don't worry about posting it in the LGBT+ forum, while you rightly assert that such things happen between friends of opposite gender, we have to be honest and accept that there are extra dimensions added when it is a same-sex but opposite orientation friendship.

JackTaylorFan

Leave it alone, OP. You're dealing with a closet case at best. You'll only end up on the losing side. Plus he has a girlfriend -there is more than you he can hurt here