Advice (want to go 80% sober)

PTH2009

ok so ive lost about 2 stone in the last few months and as a result my drink tolernce is getting affeced by it

I dont drink every week but when i do i binge drink (after concerts/matches, partys etc) and 9/10 end up doing something i regret, messing up dates etc. I fell a few times and hurt myself. Siad very hurtful things to others

I work in a stressful job and drinking is my way of relaxing/escpaing from the pressure and to add to that have family/communication problems to deal with

I cant and dont want to give the drink up 100%, cause as i siad its a mode of relaxatiion/escape for me, i have every right to drink and my life would feel a bit empty without that escape

Im a cider drinker and then move onto Vodka and Coke and other spirits. Short term plan is to stick to Cider only and spread drinks out

Whats ur advice ?? (giving it up is not an option sadly)

Amazingfun

Congrats on the weight loss, brilliant stuff

However:

I dont drink every week but when i do i binge drink (after concerts/matches, partys etc) and 9/10 end up doing something i regret, messing up dates etc. I fell a few times and hurt myself. Siad very hurtful things to others

This isn't the behaviour of a normal drinker imo. And if you are not a normal drinker, you may be an abnormal drinker, -and I learned that category are the type of people who simply cannot ever safely drink. I learned this from the good folks in AA, and although it took me a real dose of pain (repeated doses in fact) ---I did learn it in the end.
I am now a couple of days away from being 16 years sober --in a row. Which is a minor miracle, something I am forever grateful for.

So. I am suggesting to you the same thing I've suggested on here many times: consider trying an AA meeting and see what you think. Or, you could listen to a tape such as this one, and see if you relate to anything:

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

Good luck!

And btw, you say for you that "stopping for good isn't an option". All I can say is that I couldn't see a life without drinking being one worth living, but the bottle beat me into reasonableness on this account, and now all these years later, I know drinking again is in fact not just an "option", but for me a matter of life and death.

PTH2009

https://www.evergreendrugrehab.com/blog/obvious-alcoholic-drinking-behaviors-hard-ignore/

Found this article very good and I can relate to a lot of this

My next drink day I plan is next Sat, I'll be travelling to the Italy game in Dublin and plan to be back in Waterford by 6.30pm. If I can have a normal amount that nignt I'll be content. Obv plans could change between then and now and want to enjoy the match

What is considered a normal amount for 1 night??

Big Bag of Chips

What's your normal? I drink very occasionally. So a normal amount for me is probably 2-3 drinks. Possibly even mixed with mineral to weaken them/make them last longer. 4 drinks and I'd be feeling ropey and wanting to go home!

Can you limit your drink? Can you have a mineral instead? Or once you start is that it? If you go out at 6:30pm, what time do you plan on going home at, and after how many drinks?

PTH2009

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

What's your normal? I drink very occasionally. So a normal amount for me is probably 2-3 drinks. Possibly even mixed with mineral to weaken them/make them last longer. 4 drinks and I'd be feeling ropey and wanting to go home!

Can you limit your drink? Can you have a mineral instead? Or once you start is that it? If you go out at 6:30pm, what time do you plan on going home at, and after how many drinks?

All depends on the night, sometimes I'd go out on my own (Normally for matches, concerts etc) and then sometimes for Staff nights etc. In the past years I've cut down on my nights drinking, my Dad goes out Fridays and Sundays and I might go out them nights too (only me and him in the house). Work hours vary week to week

My main thing is I like to have a few pre drinks before heading out or I'd go to a quite pub and have a few before meeting people. I'd drink maybe 3/4 pint bottles of cider and then move onto Vodka Coke/Bailey's etc.

Timings depend on what type of night it is but nowadays my tolerate is so low I drink way to fast and be home 00.30/1am.

One thing im fond of is enjoying listening to my iPod when I'm home drunk, gives me a sense of happiness

Short plan is too try and cut out spirits and stick on the pints (I'd often get bloated on pints and move onto the spirits) and to try and mend broken relationships caused by my drinking behaviour

Amazingfun

Short plan is too try and cut out spirits and stick on the pints (I'd often get bloated on pints and move onto the spirits) and to try and mend broken relationships caused by my drinking behaviour

I think your plan is actually a good one. A little known fact of AA is that the suggestion for people who aren't sure if they are alkie or not is to try drinking a certain amount and see if you can stop. Even try it a few times

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.

Best of luck and have a nice trip

NinetyTwoTeam

TBH the whole planning of a binge is indicative of a drink problem. Guys in meetings talk about how they used to do that, hear it all the time.

Ditto for trying to come up with methods for not getting too blotto, blaming overindulgence on weight loss, etc. I did both of those.

Normal drinkers don't meticulously plan drinking events and inventory amounts, they go to social events, have a few and know when to stop. They might occasionally overdo it, sure.

Life without alcohol is far from empty. Your pockets will be a lot more full for start.

PTH2009

tbh why do i drink ??? For the effect thats why

Im a shyish quite person without drink and feel drinking is an escape away from that and most of my bad feelings go away for a while but what happens sometimes is this

Ill get a decent buzz after 4/5 pints and then i move onto the Vodka and Spirits and a few times id be happy and go wild but sometimes id lose the head (not saying i cant lose the head without spirits ??) and id end saying stupid stupid things and abusing people, falling over hurting myself, vomiting my ring up etc. i work in a demanding customer service job for the last 10 years and as much as id love it and generally want to move on and leave the job, the fear of not getting another one is there and that maybe another trigger for why i drink so much sometimes. The job can be very frustrating at times and sometimes goiong out clearing my head is good for me

A trigger for me is when i try it with a girl and she rejects me or when someone critazises my drinking (u should pace yourself, ur drinking too slow, too fast, generally watching me the whole time) , its frustrating and ill take it way way too hard and freak out, or i see people im out getting with women and me standing like an idiot.

Nothing beats the buzz of having a few drinks after a sporting event, music event etc. If we win its drinking, if we lose/draw its drinking (same can be said if its good or bad news). This is a reason why i cant give it up cold turkey and want to keep a buzz but management is the key, try and get a positive buzz off the pints and abstain from the spirits. Notihng beats music with a few drinks in you esp if its a fav of yours. No freak outs, if they get with girls they get with them

wish me luck, sorry ranted on a bit and didnt make sense in parts.

aabarnes1

Hi friend, I hope your 'plan' works out, but I'm guessing it won't. maybe this time, and even next time and the time after that it possibly will, but from what you have already said, and you have said quite a lot, believe it or not, I think you instinctively know there's an issue.

Normal drinkers dont put conditions on themselves, like ' giving up is not an option'. Normal drinkers don't count how many they have had, nor do they need guidance on how many they should drink on a manageable binge.

As previously posted, if you think you don't have a problem, stay dry for a month, what have you got to lose.

PTH2009

Had plans to go out and try sticking on the pints but I've since got the flu and wont be moving from the house for a few days and them I'm working all weekend nights

So maybe I'll try it next week but I'll be greatful of the money I'll save. Only thing im annoyed at is I have no energy to work out

Meeeee79

One thing i'll say is that drinking alone is one thing but going out and getting hammered drunk where you fall around and hurt yourself on your own is a completely different story. Drinking should be a social event that you enjoy doing with your friends/family, if you go out on your own and get that drunk then it is far from a social thing, it is an issue.

Also, is pre drinking necessary? You say you have 3 -4 pints before you even meet your friends - do you feel you cant enjoy your friends company without having 4 pints first? My first bit of advice would be to cut this out, surely thats pretty obvious?

PTH2009

Meeeee79 wrote: »

One thing i'll say is that drinking alone is one thing but going out and getting hammered drunk where you fall around and hurt yourself on your own is a completely different story. Drinking should be a social event that you enjoy doing with your friends/family, if you go out on your own and get that drunk then it is far from a social thing, it is an issue.

Also, is pre drinking necessary? You say you have 3 -4 pints before you even meet your friends - do you feel you cant enjoy your friends company without having 4 pints first? My first bit of advice would be to cut this out, surely thats pretty obvious?

I do pre drinking It's to get in the buzz a bit tbh and I enjoy listening to my own playlist in the house or Playing ps4 before going out or too simply just enjoy my own company. Nothing to do with wanting to meet my friends drunk

Meeeee79

PTH2009 wrote: »

I do pre drinking It's to get in the buzz a bit tbh and I enjoy listening to my own playlist in the house or Playing ps4 before going out or too simply just enjoy my own company. Nothing to do with wanting to meet my friends drunk

But would you not agree that cutting this out will at least maybe help you not get blind drunk as fast?

beertons

Skip the drinking before you go out. Have a target, 4-6 drinks, then home. If you have 3 at home, is it worth your while going out for 3? And try not to stockpile drink at home. You'll end up milling into it, and you'll say to yourself that it doesn't count. It all counts!

Big Bag of Chips

Can you not listen to your playlist without drinking? Can you not play the PlayStation without drinking? People who don't have any issue with alcohol can do these things. I know you're posting here because you accept that you DO have an issue with drinking, and I hope you can limit yourself. Many people can, so it should be something you at least try. But if you find you are finding it too difficult to limit yourself then you have to accept that you have to give it up altogether, or just continue as you have been, doing the same old same old.

PTH2009

Id only drink when listening to my playlist/playing playstation when/if im heading out for the night, i do this things normally without drinking all the time

Last time i had a drink was Thursday/ friday morning last 2am and havant had any since then and due to stuff outside of my control i prob wont have a drink til next week sometime

The plan is staying off the spirits but it will be hard as ive been drinking Vodka and mixers for about 7/8 years. I knw i can do it but its going to be hard

A success for me will be go out without pre drinking, have 4/5 pints through the night (maybe 1 more if i go to late bar for a bit of music) and then home

A lot of it is easier said than done

PTH2009

So first night out without drinking spirits

Went straight out to the pub about 10 mins afo without 1 pre drink at home ðŸ˜

PTH2009

Update 4 pints in

Good buzz but not the same when u realize I have to stay on bulmers all night

Might try a beer soon

Sigma Force

PTH2009 wrote: »

ok so ive lost about 2 stone in the last few months and as a result my drink tolernce is getting affeced by it

I dont drink every week but when i do i binge drink (after concerts/matches, partys etc) and 9/10 end up doing something i regret, messing up dates etc. I fell a few times and hurt myself. Siad very hurtful things to others

I work in a stressful job and drinking is my way of relaxing/escpaing from the pressure and to add to that have family/communication problems to deal with

I cant and dont want to give the drink up 100%, cause as i siad its a mode of relaxatiion/escape for me, i have every right to drink and my life would feel a bit empty without that escape

Im a cider drinker and then move onto Vodka and Coke and other spirits. Short term plan is to stick to Cider only and spread drinks out

Whats ur advice ?? (giving it up is not an option sadly)

I know this isn't what you want to hear but it does sound that maybe you're not ready yet, I do believe that if there is a serious issue with alcohol that there's no half measures..scuse the pun. Ok it depends on the person some can cut back and get on with life but if alcohol is affecting your relationships, self esteem, quality of life and health etc. It could be that the issues are more full on than you think. The worrying think that you said was not that you don't want to give up drink but that you can't. I understand you need an escape after a hectic week etc. But in the long term are these binges making you happy? If you were drinking every day and wanted to cut back in a way that would be simpler but the fact that once you start you can't stop is worrying, at first you might need it to relax and just chill and I totally get that but then three leads to four and you're on a roll. Unless you can physically and mentally go for say three drinks and leave it at that then I'm not sure it'd be easy to cut back. But as I said everyone is different, maybe picking up other things to do over the weekends that you enjoy and make you feel chilled out could help. It's not easy to do alone wether cutting back or giving it up altogether so I think it's always a good idea to find a good, experienced GP and have a chat with them and they can confirm things for you, maybe duffest some supports to put in place and monitor your health if you decide to give up or cut back. Binge drinking can be just as damaging as regular every day drinking but you know all that, the fact you've recognised it is causing you problems is great that's half the battle. So see what fits with you best, and there's no harm in trying and if something doesn't work don't give up just try something else next time.

PTH2009

Got on ok had 7 pints and didn't have any spirits

Obv I still got drunk but not as bad as I would of with vodka and hangover is not as bad

Sigma Force

PTH2009 wrote: »

tbh why do i drink ??? For the effect thats why

Im a shyish quite person without drink and feel drinking is an escape away from that and most of my bad feelings go away for a while but what happens sometimes is this

Ill get a decent buzz after 4/5 pints and then i move onto the Vodka and Spirits and a few times id be happy and go wild but sometimes id lose the head (not saying i cant lose the head without spirits ??) and id end saying stupid stupid things and abusing people, falling over hurting myself, vomiting my ring up etc. i work in a demanding customer service job for the last 10 years and as much as id love it and generally want to move on and leave the job, the fear of not getting another one is there and that maybe another trigger for why i drink so much sometimes. The job can be very frustrating at times and sometimes goiong out clearing my head is good for me

A trigger for me is when i try it with a girl and she rejects me or when someone critazises my drinking (u should pace yourself, ur drinking too slow, too fast, generally watching me the whole time) , its frustrating and ill take it way way too hard and freak out, or i see people im out getting with women and me standing like an idiot.

Nothing beats the buzz of having a few drinks after a sporting event, music event etc. If we win its drinking, if we lose/draw its drinking (same can be said if its good or bad news). This is a reason why i cant give it up cold turkey and want to keep a buzz but management is the key, try and get a positive buzz off the pints and abstain from the spirits. Notihng beats music with a few drinks in you esp if its a fav of yours. No freak outs, if they get with girls they get with them

wish me luck, sorry ranted on a bit and didnt make sense in parts.

A lot of reasons why people drink are to build confidence, to block problems or worries out and to avoid issues instead of dealing with them. My OH spent years planning his every day on how he could get drink inside him and it was gradual like you but it gets worse over the years. At the end of the day no one can make the choice but you, only thing I would say is maybe start dealing with the issues you are trying to block out, alcohol might give you a buzz but it's also a depressant so in the long run it's not going to make you feel better but right now it's like your best buddy always there to give you a leg up. You sound like a good guy, I know this sounds cheesy but start looking after yourself, it's great you work out good for the head but your confidence seems to be easily knocked (like a lot of us) I think even chatting to your gp and finding someone to talk one on one to might help even if you are still drinking. Not sure if you have smart recovery or similar where you are but you can go chat to them wether drinking or not and they are great for helping you make a plan for yourself and are so supportive. Even an AA meeting might help but I can't say wether you are an alcoholic or not obviously but from what I've read and from my experience I think a lot of your drinking is to do with low self esteem, you have a whole life ahead of you with lots of opportunities and don't worry about the women. The right one will come along but to be able to have a short or long term relationship it's important to have your own stuff together first because women are very needy lol I'm not sure if my rambling helps but if you could even talk to your dad about it?

sarahf2k16

PTH2009 wrote: »

ok so ive lost about 2 stone in the last few months and as a result my drink tolernce is getting affeced by it

I dont drink every week but when i do i binge drink (after concerts/matches, partys etc) and 9/10 end up doing something i regret, messing up dates etc. I fell a few times and hurt myself. Siad very hurtful things to others

I work in a stressful job and drinking is my way of relaxing/escpaing from the pressure and to add to that have family/communication problems to deal with

I cant and dont want to give the drink up 100%, cause as i siad its a mode of relaxatiion/escape for me, i have every right to drink and my life would feel a bit empty without that escape

Im a cider drinker and then move onto Vodka and Coke and other spirits. Short term plan is to stick to Cider only and spread drinks out

Whats ur advice ?? (giving it up is not an option sadly)

I stopped drinking cider at 13, red wine at 16, vodka at 21, started to just drink beer and brandy (odd combination I know) then just beer.... still got ****faced, blacked out and did terrible things. Now I don't drink. Never happier. I understand that you need you can't imagine the idea of quitting now (no one would believe I would sure I was only a 'social' drinker) but after 12 years of trying to "moderate" I finally accepted my drinking would never change. I only regret not quitting sooner. It was a relief to finally stop trying. I wish you the best.

PTH2009

have quite cider and now drink beer

Went mad 2 weeks ago and had a huge session and had a decent night tbh more tiredness caught up on me that night. Find theres more selection in beer and genrally feel more relaxed drinking it

Plan to head out next Sat for the rugby (if im off work) and then again on Paddys day

cant say im 100% but feel much better than i did this time last month

sarahf2k16

PTH2009 wrote: »

have quite cider and now drink beer

Went mad 2 weeks ago and had a huge session and had a decent night tbh more tiredness caught up on me that night. Find theres more selection in beer and genrally feel more relaxed drinking it

Plan to head out next Sat for the rugby (if im off work) and then again on Paddys day

cant say im 100% but feel much better than i did this time last month

Yeah you probably feel better cause you're drinking as much, that doesn't mean you don't have a problem. Only you can decide that. I use to go off drink for weeks at a time so I kept saying I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic. Of course, society criticises alcoholics for being weak and low-lifes and no self control so its not surprising that we don't want to think of ourselves as such. I just think an alcoholic for me means that alcohol doesn't suit you. It can be that simple.

I thought like an alcoholic (despite the fact that no one would think of me as one) and I know now that if I went back on it that it would be only be a matter of days/weeks/months until I'd end up on a big bender. I use to, like you, say I had a big bender but nothing bad happened until one night something did and the circle began again.

Mr. Incognito

Hello there

I think you are deluding yourself

I "only" had 7 pints and no shots. Whoop.

7 pints is binge drinking. And if you thinkg that's cutting down then you have a pretty weird relationship with alcohol.

I've done this, ah sure no more shots. I ended up just having more pints, and having the constitution to drink more frequently because the binges were not as intense.

You say yourself you have been embarrassed a lot when you are heavy drinking. You need to cut it all out for a month and then re-examine it.

Sigma Force

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Hello there

I think you are deluding yourself

I "only" had 7 pints and no shots. Whoop.

7 pints is binge drinking. And if you thinkg that's cutting down then you have a pretty weird relationship with alcohol.

I've done this, ah sure no more shots. I ended up just having more pints, and having the constitution to drink more frequently because the binges were not as intense.

You say yourself you have been embarrassed a lot when you are heavy drinking. You need to cut it all out for a month and then re-examine it.

I think that might be a good idea, cut it for a month and see how you feel. It can take a few tries but always good to start somewhere and if you do decide OP then perhaps going to your GP for some detox info and possibly medication may help you. You're not replacing one crutch with another by going it's that you can have withdrawal which could make you ill so it's always good to be under the care of your GP before choosing to detox.