ideal age gap?

emerbyrner999

In your opinion/experience whats an ideal age gap between children?

shesty

I think there's a thread here somewhere on this!!!For me it's a couple of years anyway.It's hard work but it's a gap that has more advantages than disadvantages all round.

michellie

Our daughter was born in July 2008. Our 2nd is due March 2018

Jimjones55

I'm 22. My younger brother is 3 years and 2 months younger than me, and my youngest brother is 5 years younger.

I get on best with the youngest, but that's probably a personality thing.

boardsuser1

I'm unsure as to what an ideal age gap would be, my own are

Between 1 & 2 is 31 months
2 & 3 16 months
3 & 4 55 months
4 & 5/6 will be 17/18 months

Roesy

I don’t know really, I had 3 under 3 and if I had my time again I’m not sure I’d have too much bigger a gap. There’s 20 months between 1 and 2 and 15 months between 2 and 3. It’s chaotic at times and each pregnancy was tougher than the last but I feel like we’re in that hectic baby/toddler zone and we might as well just embrace it. I can see how a bigger gap might be easier in some ways, not having two in nappies, older sibling having more understanding of the change etc My eldest definitely took the arrival of baba no.3 easier than she did when my second arrived. I don’t know if I would having found it harder going back to the night feeds and nappies and general baby paraphernalia after too long a break though.

Liam McPoyle

All going well we will have number two by mid August.

Number one will be one in April so it's gonna be around 16 months between them.

I will say, we are older (wife will be 40 this year, me next year) so we didn't really have the luxury of having a couple of years in between.

The flip side is that we will still be in nappy mode with number 1 so it (hopefully) shouldn't be too big a shock to the system.

shesty

I had a 21 month age gap, and hopefully there will be a 2 year age gap come May between nos
2 & 3.
Going from 2 kids to three cannot be as hard as 1 to 2.Right up there as one of the hardest things I've done.But I wouldn't leave it too much longer myself, as I said it is really bloody hard but advantages mostly outweigh disadvantages as time goes one.

Gatica

From a financial point of view I think it's easier when you don't have 2 in creche. Agewise, I don't know but personally I'd rather have one child able to walk a distance without being picked up and as a gestating woman I want to recover physically before attempting another pregnancy. I think pregnancy is a b!tch and not something I could easily handle one right after another.
Our in-laws have gaps of 1.5 between 2 kids and 3.5 between the other 2, and the kids are amazing with each-other with both gaps. The nice thing with the eldest is that he's quite self-sufficient and was great when the youngest was born - didn't need too much prepping for food and school clothes etc... I think that would make life so much easier.

firebird84

When our second is born there'll be a 3 year gap. Personally I did not want to do two in nappies at once but didn't want to leave it much longer than that so I wouldn't have forgotten too much of what it's like to have a newborn. Probably a pointless exercise and I've probably forgotten it all anyway.

Edit: There was also a slight financial consideration too in that our eldest will start ECCE in September, it's not a huge saving but childcare being what it is, it's better than full price for 2 at once for us.

lazygal

I don't think there is one.
Plus circumstances often take the decision out of your hands. We were very lucky to have two pregnancies and healthy babies within 15 months. Others aren't so lucky. If you want more than one my advice is not to wait too long. Secondary infertility can be a mind melter.

shesty

Exactly, my thinking is obviously based on the fact that it works out for you and you are lucky that way, as we have also been.

Kaylami

I have 3 years and 5 months between #1 and #2. 1 year and 11 months between #2 and #3. 13 months between #3 and #4. And please god 2 years and 9 months between #4 and #5.

I found the 13 month gap the hardest. I was heavily pregnant running after a baby that had just learned to walk.

jlm29

There’s 4 years between my first and second, and 18 maths bwtween 2 and 3. I find the school run, and making it to activities tough with a toddler and a baby in tow. I can see huge advantages to having them all had before the school run stage. That said, my six yr old is a great help!

angeldelight

I think for most people the gap they end up works for them as you just have to make it work for the most part.

The WHO did a study in it and recommend minimum two years between birth of one and becoming pregnant again http://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/69855/1/WHO_RHR_07.1_eng.pdf

Moonbeam

It depends on you and how many kids you want ,age , affordability etc

Personally, I think 2 year is perfect.
My gaps are ,between -
1 and 2 - both January babies 2 years and 21 days.
2 and 3 - both January birthdays 18 days short of 2 years.
3 and 4 - 15 months

I think the small gap is great but you have 2 babies and 2 in nappies for a while and they do grow up together but it can be tough.
The 2 year gap was great, I only had 2 in nappies for about 4 months and the older one was big enough to have slight independence.

annoyedgal

So many factors to be considered including age of mother. I was 35 having my first and wanted another straight away! All going well son will be 2 and a half when no 2 comes along in summer.
Extended breastfeeding and thyroid issue made this gap a year longer than I would have liked! Just grateful to be having another. As lazygal said think people should just go for it and not overthink it as was very frustrating at times ttc no 2 when it takes awhile !

rainbow kirby

22 month gap here - found the pregnancy difficult, my son was a late walker so he wasn't walking at all until I was nearly 4 months along. That's hard work when you're in the pits of the first trimester and then my lack of mobility beyond around 35 weeks wasn't easy to deal with either. Age and fertility weren't worries for us - I'm 33 now and it didn't take much effort to make this happen!

Gaia Mother Earth

There is exactly 3 years between our 2 and it really works for us. My girl is the older and she has great independence. She can get dress herself in the morning so it's just myself and the toddler to manage.

I can send her off to so little jobs for me and she is a great role model for the toddler, we never had any issues with jealousy or the like.

Also, she goes to Montessori every morning so the days I'm not working, I get to spend the morning with the toddler and bring him out to wee music classes or whatever is age appropriate for him.

If we have another child, it will definitely will another 3 or more year gap.

I also don't think I could afford to send 2 children to college in close succession.

I would need my other children to have good independence in terms of play and feeding and dressing before I could manage another.

eviltwin

13 years between my two, ideal for us.

catrionanic

Just found out I’m expecting (it was a surprise), and the gap will be 20 months. I’m very nervous about this, and dreading the onset of nausea this pregnancy. Last time I had very reduced mobility due to pelvic problems too, so I’m not sure how I’ll cope running around after a little one who has just learnt to walk either. Help!!!

shesty

You'll get through it Caitrionnic, coz you have no choice!!Encourage toddler to climb stairs etc themselves and you walk right behind them.They can manage that and it will save you a world of pain.Currently 28 weeks with no.3 here, and the hardest parts are bathing, dressing, lifting buggy in and out.OH has to most of it.
Also keep your toddler in a good napping routime, for your own sanity, especially as the pregnancy goes on and you get tireder!!
21 month gap between nos.1&2 and it is a lot of work for the first eight months at least, but you're in the nappy zone anyway.We are nearly two years on now though and they are great pals and play with each other all the time which is brilliant-they are close enough in age to be interested in each other's games, so it has advantages too!

Notsomindful

I have 3 children and due #4 in January.
#1 and #2 are 23 months apart. Then a 3 years 8 month gap , and #3 wqs born.

There will be a 21 month gap between #3 & 4.

dizzymiss

There are 363 days between my nearly 5yr old girl and nearly 4yr old boy. If I get pregnant again soon, there'll be just over 5.5 and 4.5 years.

I don't think it matters hugely. It's personal choice, just simply nature or in our case a surprise x