Trying to find my passion for a career

LegacyUser

So I'm a recent university graduate, who was lucky enough to find work in my field. Problem is, I've come to realise I hate my job. I am reluctant to admit that, but here it is. I want to change fields, into what I dont know. For a while I thought I would do some allied health care or something in the medical field but now the realities are beginning to sit in and I now know for me, to find something interesting isnt the same as actually enjoying it. I need to do something "fun" but what that may be, I dont know. I did 4 years of my college degree and I wanted to drop out so bad at times, like I had the paperwork filled out and on campus, but I was forced by my parent to keep going, I wish I hadnt.

The company I work for is excellent and treat their employees very well, but whenever I mention to my parent that I dont like my job and want to change they just tell me to wait it out some more or change companies, but I know thats not going to make a difference. I've worked the crappiest jobs and tbh this is one of my least favourite. My parent is really pushing me to stay in this field, to them a job is just a means of getting a wage at the end of the week, as long as you can pay the bills its all good, but I was reflecting on it today and if I am still in this job this time next year I think I'm going to have a literal mental breakdown. I try to convince myself I like it, fake it till you make it kind of thing, but I know deep down I am miserable.

I am comfort eating everyday, I've literally gained a stone in weight. I am afraid if my parent keeps pushing me to stay in this field and I am just going to find myself trapped and miserable in it 30 years down the line. I have a hobby, but that doesnt make up for the 40 hours of misery every week. So I dont know what to do, first of all how do I figure out what do I want to do career wise, and secondly how do I get my parent to accept this, they are very stubborn, as I said I so desperately wanted to drop out of my course at one stage I didnt eat or leave my bed for a full week, yet despite seeing how utterly miserable I was they still threatened to disown me if I dropped out.

Thanks

Big Bag of Chips

Dropping out isn't a career choice, or an option really. Your parent was right to encourage you to finish your degree. You now have a degree. That in itself will open other doors and opportunities and courses for you. Same as dropping out of work isn't an option. Unless of course you have a follow on plan. Your parent has the right attitude. A job is a wage. It's a means to pay your way. If you don't like the job your in, your first thought should be how do I get into another job/field.

But you don't have a plan. You don't know what you want to do. You don't know what to do next. You are an adult and capable of making your own decisions, but I am assuming you live at home? As an adult you will have expenses and responsibilities that need to be paid. So if you give up work with no plan how do you pay your way?

I think rather than talk of quitting your job, which any parent would be reluctant to encourage their child to do, you need to find an alternative. Find an alternative job/line of work. Sign up for a different college course, being aware that you will have to pay for the full fees so you will need to be working full time and studying part time in order to be able to fund it.

Adult life is tough, but there are always options. It might be difficult and make take a few years of hardship and hard slog but if it's what you want you will find a way.

baby and crumble

Oh op I do feel for you. Working a job you hate is awful.

Two things to remember: it’s never too late to change tack, and you’re an adult. Your parent has no right to pressure you into doing anything.

It’s rare these days to stay in the same career forever; most people change and move around. The older generations find that difficult to understand. For them a job was very much a means to an end, like you said. Even if you hate it you pay your bills and that’s it. That’s great and has it’s merits but it’s not for everyone.

Do you know what you’d like to do? Is it something completely removed from your degree, or is here some element of that field that you do like, that you could look to train further in? It’d be harder for your parent to object to further training, right?

You have to have some level of passion for your job, or like you said you’ll go mad. Even having a plan- like “I’m going to work here for a year to save up and then I’m doing this masters” or whatever it is.

Caranica

Think transferable skills. I work in a field a million miles from my undergraduate degree but skills like attention to detail, project management, initiative to work alone as well as part of a team, ability to anticipate worst case scenario and work to prevent it etc etc all play a huge part in my current (and previous job). My other (first) job was in my degree field and I was in it a similar time to you. Leaving was absolutely the right call.

I didn't leave until I had another job and my parents were happy that I had a job and trusted me to make the right decision.

LegacyUser

Hey Guys thanks for the replies so far, just want to clear something up. I don't live at home and I pay my own rent and bills. My main focus of this post was asking how do I find my passion so I can make a plan. Initially I had planned to work for the year and then start an allied health course or something in the medical field, but now I don't think thats for me and maybe would prefer something creative (I'm not sure tho) which is literally the polar opposite of what my degree was in. I realise however I mostly talked about my parent in this post. My point was really that I even knew while I was in my college course this was not the path for me. I haven't gone into detail at all but if anyone knew what I was going through at that time they would have advised me to drop out in a heart beat. Nthing was worth that pain.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Wanderer78

I was once in a job I absolutely hated, I had to leave it eventually, it was causing great mental destress, and I suspect I would have had a breakdown if I remained, some saying I actually did, but that's debatable.

You need an exit strategy, some sort of plan, and remember that this could take a while to execute fully, mine took a couple of years to fully occur. Pursuing hobbies and interests is a fantastic idea, but as others as pointed to, financially, this pathway generally produces poor pay and poor working opportunities, but it may be what you require, only you can answer if that option is for you.

My main piece of advice is, don't stay too long, but don't rush your exit either, get advice from wherever and from whoever. If you do feel your mental well being is being seriously affected, a social welfare payment such as 'illness benefit' may suit your situation, that's if you can afford it of course. Best of luck

baby and crumble

Op, what are your hobbies? I ask because if you’ve nothing at all in your life that you’re passionate about, it’s easy to focus on your job as the thing that should give you satisfaction in all ways, when that’s not always possible. Could you find something creative to try out whilst you’re working and gaining experience in your current field? I really loved takin a ceramics evening class, I even did a level 5 cert. It gave me something to do with my hands, a sense of routine to my week and something creative and fun to think about too.

Big Bag of Chips

You might have been advised at the time to drop out, but you didn't. You persevered through it and you got your degree at the end of it. Yet you seem to see this as a negative? There are career guidance people out there who can talk you through your life/interests/needs etc and help you find a career path that will help. You could start by looking up someone like that. Lots of people change career a number of times throughout their lives. I'm 40 and still don't know what I want to do "when I grown up"!

Find someone you can talk this through with. Until you know where you want to go and what you want to do you will be stuck in this limbo, and quitting your job with no concrete plan is not a good plan.

If you live away from home your parent doesn't need to know a whole lot about your life. If you're changing job, career you don't have to discuss it with them first. Tell them when you've done it. Your language in your post is quite negative and unsure and all about what's not right. If you speak to your parent like that then of course they are going to also take a negative spin on it. Whereas if you're confident in your choice and positive in your language then your parent is more likely to be positive about it too and see that you are making a good decision, for yourself.

Sleepy

Blanket78 wrote: »

I now know for me, to find something interesting isnt the same as actually enjoying it. I need to do something "fun" but what that may be, I dont know.

Welcome to adulthood OP. It'd be a much happier world if we could all find self-fulfillment in creative, enjoyable work but sadly, it's not the world we live in.

Work is rarely "fun". Those jobs that are don't pay well unless you're extremely lucky (think lotto winner odds) and typically remain the preserve of those with family money, those whose partners make good money doing boring jobs and don't mind indulging a partner pursuing a passion rather than pulling their weight financially or those who don't plan on having kids and are happy getting by without the luxuries of "normal" modern living (regular meals/nights out, foreign holidays, a decent car, accommodation in nice urban areas etc.).

For many "fun" jobs you'd be looking at having to embrace a nomadic lifestyle too (e.g. ski instructors tend to spend our summer working in the Southern Hemisphere, Holiday Reps move from country to country according to the needs of their employer).

Finally, a lot of people who try to turn hobbies into careers, end up losing their passion for the very thing they loved as the realities of trying to generate income from it kick in.

Don't leave a good job without another one lined up, or at the very least, wheels in motion to follow through on a good plan. If you're changing career, try to do any re-training via evening courses so you're not trying to start a new career that may involve having to do unpaid internships or accepting extremely low wages with large debts to pay.

Until you have a solid plan of action, maybe try out a few new hobbies and use them as an opportunity to explore areas where you might be interested in working in (e.g. try taking some cookery courses if you think you might fancy working as a chef in a commercial kitchen or woodworking lessons if you fancy the idea of becoming a carpenter). You might well find you're happier earning good money in a boring job and using it to fund interesting hobbies in your free time.

Ursus Horribilis

Blanket78 wrote: »

I haven't gone into detail at all but if anyone knew what I was going through at that time they would have advised me to drop out in a heart beat. Nothing was worth that pain.

Thank goodness you didn't meet anyone dimwitted enough to suggest this. You really need to cut back on the melodrama here. I get that you picked a course that you didn't enjoy and you're not in a job you like. But you are significantly better off than you would've been if you had dropped out. You don't appear to have a Plan B even now. So if you had quit your course before the end, you'd have nothing to show for your endeavours other than a half-finished course. You'd most likely be working in crappy minimum wage jobs, not able to land something better because you've no qualifications. Whether you like it or not, a half-finished degree suggests that you weren't bright enough to pass your exams or that you're a snowflake who ran to the hills once the going got tough. A Leaving Cert alone won't get you in the door of a lot of places now. So in other words, you should consider yourself to be bloody lucky that you have that degree.

If you want to do something practical, go talk to a careers adviser. Find out what options are out there for you. That degree of yours, and that work experience you're getting in your job, could really stand to you in the future. It could fast track you into other courses. It could be surprisingly useful for changing careers.

It might be worth going to talk to your GP or a counsellor if your mental health is suffering. If you're not careful, that comfort eating will cause other problems for you and it's best nipped in the bud before it escalates. A talk with a counsellor might also help you see things more clearly and in a less negative light.

Rubberchikken

I dont care how much emphasis is put on a degree or even a job - if youre miserable doing it then change.
You say youd like to do something creative. What? Think it through. Maybe some help from a career coach might give you ideas.
Few things are more miserable and depressing tjan getting up every morning to do something you hate. It will wear you down and lifes too short for that.
Best of luck

LegacyUser

Hey guys thanks for the replies,

Well I know I'm definitely not going to pursue a career in writing, I am pretty awful at getting my point across :P

I have no intention of leaving my job till I not only have a plan but am literally about to start it (eg leave said job right before I start a new job/new course/etc), as it stands, I am only doing this job to save money cause I am certainly not enjoying it.

I've worked lots of jobs before, lots of your traditional "sh!t" less than minimum wage to minimum wage jobs and tbh I actually preferred most of them (cleaner, waiter, etc,) you know the type of jobs that people generally tend to despise, I worked all throughout college both summers and weekends so I am used to working life. I was working a minimum wage job in my hometown right up until I got my current job, so its not that I am not used to working, Ive worked in far more stressful, fast paced, demanding, bossier, meaner environments.

I started my course as I liked the subject in LC but unfortunately well that bared no reflection on college or real life.

What I dont like about my job is that I find it boring, I dread it every morning and consider calling in sick every day. When I said I want something fun, I want something I will enjoy doing as oppose to well, this. I look at the people who would have started where I am and have been promoted through the ranks and I dont crave to do any of those jobs, they seem equally as dull if not worse. I dont enjoy doing the work, I am literally living for clocking off time/the weekend. I dont know how to explain my job, its just blughh. Lots of people with my degree love this kind of work, and just as many hate it and do something else in a completely different field. I met a woman at the gym who did an extremely similar course I did a few years previous and she went off and did a conversion course into a subject that literally has 0 to do with our undergrad. I've given this field its shot and its just not working for me.

My question is how do I find something I am passionate about to make a career out of, I have friends who loved their course so much they just want to do degrees and PhDs and post docs and never want to leave research just to be immersed in their respective topics forever.

I know no one will believe me unless I specify what happened but trust me in retrospect completing any college course was not worth it. I refuse to specify what happened but what you might think it was, but I can ascertain, it was worse. But thats unimportant, so Id prefer if the "dropping out" thing wasnt mentioned, I dont want to drop out of my job, I want to change field but I dont know into what, so how do you find out what you know youd enjoy as a job, I want a "fun" job, i.e. a job I would enjoy.

On advice (although I sort of had it booked but not confirmed) I booked a career guidance appointment, as it happens its free, I mentioned it to my parent and they lost it with me. They think its ridiculous, why cant I make up my mind myself, its a waste of time apparently, career guidance is something only secondary school students do apparently. They dont want to hear anything of going back to college or further training. Its just obvious they want me to stay in this career despite how miserable it makes me. It feels like they are trying to trick me into never leaving this job. There is literally no reasoning with my parent, as I said, they became enraged when I even mentioned a careers appointment and there was no convincing them that it wasnt "so stupid/waste of time/money making scam/etc"

I dont even find the work interesting, but I think in order for me to like a job, id need to enjoy physically doing it, which is why I've partly backed off the allied health course, the theory is interesting but when it comes to practice, theory isnt going to get you that far, youve got to actually enjoy DOING the job, e.g teaching, some people go into the course thinking theyll love it, get out into teaching practice and discover they hate it, others go into teaching practice and discover there is nothing else they would rather do with their life.

Also my current hobbies are not something you could make a career out of anyways :P

SO TL;DR How do you find out what you would enjoy as a job. I fell into this field from LC which at the time I only did cause I sort of fell into it.

Big Bag of Chips

You knew how your parent would react before you told them. You need to stop telling them so much. It's your life, your decisions. Whether or not they agree with it is irrelevant. You don't need their permission and you don't need input that is going to tell you you're wrong. The impression they have of you is someone a bit flaky who doesn't 'like' anything. You didn't like your college course. You don't like your job. That is their impression and until you are in a position that you do like you need to not share so much with them. They have their mind made up on what's wrong and you're not going to change it.

I hope you figure something out.

baby and crumble

Blanket78 wrote: »

SO TL;DR How do you find out what you would enjoy as a job. I fell into this field from LC which at the time I only did cause I sort of fell into it.

OP, let me tell you my story. It might help put things into perspective for you.

I did a degree in geography and philosophy; my plan was to train to be a secondary school teacher. Geography was one of my best subjects and I fancied the teacher so I went with that. I missed out on doing sociology with it by 5 points so philosophy it was.

I ended up really enjoying philosophy so pursued that as my major. I worked during summers as a care assistant which I really loved but my head didn’t connect the 2. When I graduated I couldn’t find a career type job for love nor money (the demand for philosophy grads isn’t exactly high) so I went back and did the care staff thing. Hated it. The place was so different from where I’d worked before, the staff were horrible and I realized I couldn’t do it for long. So I thought to myself, ok, what can I do that related to this, because I like working with people with disabilities? Social work. So I did a H. Dip in social policy the next year which allowed me to apply for the masters in social work.

Worked in my old job (the one I really liked) all throughout my 2nd stint in college. Qualified as a social worker just as the HSE embargo hit so no jobs.

Ended up working as a social researcher in the place I did my last social work placement, and did a 2nd masters in social research.

Once I came out of that I couldn’t find work anywhere. Over qualified for most things. I ended up having to do a job bridge, which was probably the best thing I ever did, and through that I found my passion for advocacy, policy, and the not-for-profit sector. Now I have a job I really really love and I’ve just started studying for my PHD part time so I can move up in my career.

Look I know that’s a long rant, but I just wanted to give you perspective. I had no clue what I was doing when I was your age. I had a degree sure, but I couldn’t find work in it. I used a conversion course to get into a field I thought would suit me better. Between the swings and roundabouts I’ve found a job that I really enjoy. But I couldn’t have known that when I was 22.

What I’m saying is sometimes you just have to think about things and take your time. I wouldn’t recommend listening to people who tell you to “grow up” and that nobody likes their job. That’s not true. Sometimes people fall into a job or career that’s not for them but they stay in it because they think that’s just what you do. Yeah, if I’d stuck with my original plan I’d be a teacher with over 10 years experience now, maybe be a vice-principal somewhere. Be on better money I’m sure. But I’d have hated it.

And please please stop discussing everything with your folks. They don’t need to know. You’re not living with them, they aren’t supporting you in any way. It’s none of their business what you do with your time- paid or otherwise. You seem quite sensible and not like you’re going to jack everything in and fall into debt.

All I’ll say is this- do you want to spend the next 40+ years unhappy for most of your waking life? Because that’s what you’re looking at if you don’t find something you at least vaguely like doing.

Mr. Incognito

Hey there OP

Welcome to real life.

Jobs are not supposed to be fun. If so they would be called hobbies.

The difference between your job and your hobby is you get paid for your job. If it was fun people wouldnt need to pay you.

I work long hours in a job that pays me well. I close the door behind me and pursue my interests.

The problem isnt the job. It's the mental block you have towards it.

Go in, do it, get paid, get out and do what you want to do with the other 16 Hours in the day.

woodchuck

I think people are being a bit hard on the OP. I agree that it could just be that he's getting a dose of reality. But it's also possible that this job just isn't for him! Of course for the vast majority of people work isn't exactly fun, but it's not something you should dread doing either.

Going to a career counselling is the best course of action here OP, so the best of luck with that. Ultimately there'll be no magical formula, but hopefully it'll help focus your mind a bit about the parts of work you do and don't enjoy, to help you decide the type of roles you might prefer in the future.

But for the love of god, stop discussing this with your parents! They've obviously not going to be supportive. You're not living with them and presumably they're not supporting you financially, so just leave them out of all this. If/when you get another role you can inform them, but you don't need their permission or blessing.

baby and crumble

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Hey there OP

Welcome to real life.

Jobs are not supposed to be fun. If so they would be called hobbies.

The difference between your job and your hobby is you get paid for your job. If it was fun people wouldnt need to pay you.

I work long hours in a job that pays me well. I close the door behind me and pursue my interests.

The problem isnt the job. It's the mental block you have towards it.

Go in, do it, get paid, get out and do what you want to do with the other 16 Hours in the day.

In all honesty I think this is terrible advice. I think the use of the word "fun" is throwing people off. "Enjoyable" might be more appropriate. I really enjoy my job, and sometimes it's fun. Other people would like at my job and go "Christ that sounds horrific".

(To be clear my job is a resarch post. Not exactly skiing or whatever)

You just need to find something you like doing.

begbysback

Comfort eating and spending a lot of time in bed, due, you say to having a good job which you don't like - doesn't make sense to me, have you explored other areas of your life which could be the cause of some degree of depression?

qwerty13

I was about 30 when I realised that most of my friends didn’t particularly like their jobs. I’m lucky; I moved jobs a few times and sort of fell into a role that I love.

But I am lucky: I love what I do, and get paid reasonably well for it. Lots of people I know stick it out in a job that’s way far from where they thought they’d end up, because, well, reality. Reality of bills and wanting to afford a mortgage / car / holidays / meals out.

You have to balance what you love doing v how you support your financial needs. It’s well, a bit pie in the sky thinking that it will somehow work out ok financially if you just follow your dreams - but that’s a bit of a fantasy, and you need to make a solid plan.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Hey guys.

Im on mobile so 8 camt see previous peoples replies so apologies for not mentioning you by your name.

Ok whoever said the qord fun was throwing people off, and I should have used the term enjoyable instead, man you have hit the nail on the head! :P Thats exactly what I meant.I would like to love my job, or at the very least like it....people telling me to cop on and adjust to real life....I've had a few jobs before this one, real sh1t jobs, and Ive prefered some jobs over the others, it makes anreal difference when you vaguely enjoy your job....why is wanting to enjoy the job I do instead of hating it sucha crime? It mine be for some people tonl droll in the door force themselves to work with a disdain for every second they're there and as soon as its clocking out time they forget the work place exists. Thats not who I am or how I want to live, if I enjoy a job somewhat thats 40 more hours in the week I'm happy. Some people seem real negative about the whole working thing here, I'd love to love my job, and I know there are people out there who do, Ive met them, they found something they loved and made a career out of it. How do you figure out what you are going to enjoy tho? I'm not talking about becoming a profressional banjo player or some other weird pipe dream. Doing a job you enjoy just makes the day more bareable, I've had jobs I've liked in the past, however they are pretty hard to make a career out of (Im talking minimum wage service/manufacturing industry not like a face painter at a festival kind of thing).

Some of you have given your own past experiences and tbh they were awesome.

Ummm a lot of people keep mentioning not having a plan....I wasnt to find out what job I would find enjoyable so I can make a plan...

IDK who mentioned it but I dont recall mentioning sleeping a lot because of my job, I seriously doubt I'm depressed :P

Also went to thecareers appointment and I left him stumped....and apparently its the first time hes been stumped in a long time :P

Hi OP,

Starting out in a career is a strange time, it may be that you don't know yet where your skills and natural aptitudes lie. The people who have very successful careers work out what their strengths are and continually work towards them, ime. Every job will have it's good points and bad points but you shouldn't hate your job, you shouldn't find it a drag to get through (obviously we all have bad days now and then) and you shouldn't dread it, (again, all imo). Be honest with yourself as to what you are good at, and better at than other people. I've noticed Irish people (in particular) tend to dismiss things that come easily to them, and focus on what they are bad at. That's a completely counter-productive process, imo. Things I am good at I try to specialise in, and things I am bad at I try to outsource.

Airyfairy12

I know someone who did 4 years of economics hated it and is now studying animation in Dún Laoghaire, I also know people with business degrees that changed direction and studied fine art, now theyre working in creative areas doing what they love. I know people say theres no jobs in creative fields but that's simply not true at all.
With your degree you can probably get into lots of different level 9 courses, What creative area youd like to get into? Animation, fine art, music, drama, design? theres so many areas.

Airyfairy12

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Hey there OP

Welcome to real life.

Jobs are not supposed to be fun. If so they would be called hobbies.

The difference between your job and your hobby is you get paid for your job. If it was fun people wouldnt need to pay you.

I work long hours in a job that pays me well. I close the door behind me and pursue my interests.

The problem isnt the job. It's the mental block you have towards it.

Go in, do it, get paid, get out and do what you want to do with the other 16 Hours in the day.

I love my job. Id work longer hours if I could, id genuinely do it for free I love it so much. Id do it as a hobby no problem. My parents were very critical of my degree subject choice but im so glad I didnt pay any attention and studied a creative subject anyway. Best choice ive ever made. I feel sorry for you that thats how you feel, the quality of your day is so important. Theres still time to change career if you hate your job that much, its never too late.

Ursus Horribilis

Deleted User wrote: »

Hi OP,

Starting out in a career is a strange time, it may be that you don't know yet where your skills and natural aptitudes lie.

^^This. If you were to put a CAO form down in front of me today, the courses I'd apply for would be very different to what my 18 year old self put down. The reason being that as I've gotten older and worked in different jobs, I've learned a lot more about myself as a person. I eventually change careers in my late twenties but have no regrets about the jobs I had in the years before that. Even though they don't bear much resemblance to what I do now, I learned some invaluable things from those experiences. I'm of the belief that no job is a waste of time, even if it's a lowly one.

I know loads of people who've ended up in careers that are nothing like what they studied in college. For most people, there isn't just one career out there that they're suited to. If you're willing to put in the time, money and effort, you can retrain as just about anything you want to be. Perhaps it would help if you think of your job as something you're doing "for now" and keep your eye out for something you'd like to try instead. And despite what you seem to think, that degree of yours could open a surprising number of doors.