Date Dilemma

mjj

Hi all!!
Got engaged in Dec, very excited and booked hotel for next December, just before New Years. But we found out last week that we are expecting!! Due August/early September! So my question is would we be mad to go ahead with weddin in December? My initial tauts were put it back a few months but now I don’t know what to do!first baby so all totally new! Any advice is appreciated!

Cakerbaker

Personally I’d put it back. For a few reasons (though may not apply to you).

No matter how organized you are before you have the baby there’s a lot of wedding related things that can’t be done until close to the day itself. I’d have found it very hard going with a baby. Plus you may not have the time you want to just relax and have some time as a family with baby if you’re rushing around doing wedding prep.

You won’t know what size you’ll be when you have the baby so (and I appreciate this totally depends on you as you may be very relaxed about this) you may feel under pressure to lose weight to fit in your dress.

If you’re breast feeding you’ll have to have a breast feeding friendly dress. A few months longer and you’ll have a better chance to have baby established on bottles of expressed milk if you want.

Now they’re just my 2 cents. Others may say it’s totally doable! Good luck!

SusanC10

Personally, I would have a small or immediate family only Civil Ceremony before the baby arrives and then have a Blessing and Party at a later date afterwards.
Just my 2 cents. And coming from a perspective of 13 years of marriage and 2 kids later. Others will have different perspectives.

Bacchus

There's plenty of parents who are capable of just ploughing along with life with a newborn in tow so I don't pretend to speak for all parents when I suggest that you are best off holding on a few more months. The first 6 months of a babies life are the most demanding on the parents (particularly the mother... doubly so if breastfeeding). We had a relatively uncomplicated first 6 months and it was mentally and physically draining. It's wonderful too of course, I don't want to paint a negative picture but its just such an unknown to land your wedding in the middle of. You don't know how your baby will be (e.g. colic) or what kind of parent you will be. You could go for it and it'll work out, I'm sure it has been done, but IMO you'd be lumping the work of a wedding on top of the work of a newborn. That's tough going even with a good support network around you.

lazygal

Getting married is far more important than having a wedding. Get married before the baby arrives for all the legal protection it provides and have your wedding whenever suits.

LirW

I was in the very same situation. The day before we wanted to pay our deposit we found out we had a surprise on the way.
We cancelled our plans because we prioritized our arrival over a wedding, especially if it's the first (or in my case the first is a bit older and you have to start from scratch) you'll spend a good bit of money to get all set up. You also don't know how you'll feel shortly after birth. I had a section and while I was back on my feet in no time I know I was lucky. If you're breastfeeding think about if you'd fancy running around in a wedding dress with full boobs the whole day or nurse your child every few hours.
We didn't plan an alternative date but put it off. No shotgun wedding either. Things developed differently and we bought a house instead.

Now we're eyeing with it again but it'll be a while.