Au pair overreaction?

irishadventure

I'm currently doing an au pair job in Ireland and the experience has been somewhat positive thus far. However, one day my host mother took a day off work and whilst I was minding her youngest child, she caught me scrolling through my phone. It was extremely bad timing as I'm hardly ever on my phone during the day. She had a serious word at me, questioning why I was on my phone and how she strongly disapproves of any phone use... point taken. I was getting reminders every morning to stay off the phone, and that includes no TV too, at any times. I was made to feel uncomfortable even looking at my phone in my free time and that's why I felt my room was my safe place for any phone activity. Anyway, around two months later, I was on early morning duty at 7am and I was tired and fed up, and for the first time in months, I allowed my host kids to watch TV and go on my phone. The children excitedly told their mother later that day and I was in the dog house. This is obviously a big issue for the mother (although she allows them to watch TV while she's on her phone in her time) but the fact I broke that promise made her unhappy. She now maintains that I have been doing this behind her back since she first caught me which isn't the case at all. Do you think I'm overreacting? or she's the one overreacting? or is this a valid reason to be annoyed about?

Boards.ie: Mark

Hi irishadventure, welcome to Boards.

You may get better insight in the Parenting forum. Alternatively, you could ask in Work & Jobs where you might get advice from other au pairs.

beechwood55

I am 100% sure that the mother knows that you are on your phone a lot of the time. What she intends to do about it is anyone's guess.

irishadventure

No, that's not the case at all. It was only on those 2 separate occasions I used my phone and they both backfired on me. I feel the mother doesn't believe me when I explain to her my reasons for being on the phone. For example, I had done a nightshift with a toddler with broken sleep and handing the child my phone to calm down seemed to work as a solution (this is also something I've witnessed the parents do a number of times). I even feel guilty holding a phone in my FREE spare time because the mother has made a massive issue about it!

Bicycle

Read this article - https://www.williamfry.com/newsandinsights/news-article/2016/04/12/rights-of-au-pairs-as-employees

You are protected by Irish and European labour law. You should not be working more than 48 hours per week and you should not be on day duty having done a night shift.

limnam

irishadventure wrote: »

No, that's not the case at all. It was only on those 2 separate occasions I used my phone and they both backfired on me. I feel the mother doesn't believe me when I explain to her my reasons for being on the phone. For example, I had done a nightshift with a toddler with broken sleep and handing the child my phone to calm down seemed to work as a solution (this is also something I've witnessed the parents do a number of times). I even feel guilty holding a phone in my FREE spare time because the mother has made a massive issue about it!

The mother is over reacting. Being an au pair is about an experience. Learning a new culture,language meeting new people etc integrating into another family

It's not suppose to be a "sweat shop"

Move out and find a family willing to give you a real experience

looksee

You posted at five to 11 on a Thursday morning, was that free time?

Tigger

looksee wrote: »

You posted at five to 11 on a Thursday morning, was that free time?

If people didn’t post at work boards would be very quiet

Beasty

OP has been directed to a more relevant forum. I'm therefore closing this thread as it has no relevance here