Would you protect your son or daughter if they had committed a serious crime?

wakka12

Just watching a tv show got me thinking about it , the mother in the show is suspicious that her biological son had a role in the death of his adopted sister who went missing. So before police come to the house she deletes and destroys several pieces of evidence to throw any suspicion off her son.

I can't say for certain until I actually have a child but I think it'd depend on the situation. if I felt somebody was in danger because of my child, if my child was violent, Id definitely tell authorities
If it was something financial/fraud related I think I wouldnt say anything . Child abuse I would tell
But things like if they claim a murder or serious assault were in self defence? Hard to think what you'd do. Hard to live with the guilt, but I guess nobody wants to lose their child, and be the one who gave them in.

Skyfarm

No
and if a person covered it up, it's as bad as doing it
There's no morals or values that could justify,even on a sliding scale of offences, the end game is teaching people that life matters and your actions can have an impact for generations to come

One eyed Jack

Depends on the crime really. If he'd been handy with his fists on his missus, the judicial system would be the least of his worries.

If he'd been handy with his fists on another guy who had been handy with his fists on his missus, then I never heard anything.

georgina toadbum

For those who say no. How many of you have children?

I think it's easier to say no when you've never been put in the situation. I'd hope I'm never in the situation myself but if I was I think a lot would depend on the crime and who else was involved.

biko

Hell no, what kind of person will they grow up to be if they don't learn that actions have consequences?

georgina toadbum wrote: »

For those who say no. How many of you have children?

How about yourself? Do you, and would you?

Stab*City

Snitches get stitches.

Shenshen

Depends entirely on what you mean by "protect".
Cover for them the way the OP described? I don't believe I would.
Make sure they've the best lawyer my money could buy them? Do everything legally within my power to make sure the punishment isn't too severe? You bet I would.
Be there for them in any way they may need me? Definitely.
Make sure they go through a full rehabilitation process ans support them throughout to make sure never offend again? Absolutely.

Shenshen

biko wrote: »

Hell no, what kind of person will they grow up to be if they don't learn that actions have consequences?

Seems a bit late to ask that question if we assume that they're already guilty of a serious crime.

The Backwards Man

If only the real was as unequivocal as the hypothetical one.

I haven't a clue, and none of you that say they would have any better clue than me.

Tell me how

biko wrote:

How about yourself? Do you, and would you?

I don't, but I can't imagine how I'd react.

Say my imaginary son was being continuously, viciously, verbally harassed by someone and eventually snapped and hit them. That person stumbled, fell, banged their head and died. That's a manslaughter act by my son.

If I was there and I was asked by Gardai did the victim look like they were going to physically attack my son?

I'd like to think I'd be truthful but I would be aware that to do so would mean a conviction and likely jail sentence for my son, affecting the rest of their life. That coupled with the antagonising behavior of the victim and I can't be sure how I'd actually react.

I sincerely hope in the case of intentional, deliberate breaking of the law, that I would report them.

But I don't know if anyone could definitively say how they would behave until in the moment.

retro:electro

It depends on the crime and who the victim was and what the circumstances were. In some ways I can nearly understand how one would murder another adult in a fit of rage. Not that it's ever excusable, but the emotions behind that act are far easier to understand that say a crime against a child. If anyone in my family had anything at all to do with hurting a child I would completely wash my hands of them and never speak to them again.

xzanti

Would depend on the crime.

biko

In essence the OP is -
Would you break the law in order to protect your child?
If you do then you think clan is more important than society
If you think your clan is more important than society you are anti-social.
If you are anti-social you should not be allowed to reap benefits from society.

Tell me how

anna080 wrote:

If anyone in my family had anything at all to do with hurting a child I would completely wash my hands of them and never speak to them again.

Would you wait until they were convicted or as soon as they were investigated?

Say your son was caught with a hard drive containing indecent images on a hidden partition. He said he had bought the drive on EBay and had proof of doing so, and that the partition must have been on it when he bought it.
And he claimed he never accessed it.

The case could be 18 months before getting to trial during which time he is on parole. How do you treat him in that time?

retro:electro

What?

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silverharp

biko wrote: »

In essence the OP is -
Would you break the law in order to protect your child?
If you do then you think clan is more important than society
If you think your clan is more important than society you are anti-social.
If you are anti-social you should not be allowed to reap benefits from society.

that's dumb, its natural to put your clan ahead of society , to what degree is debatable and how unreasonable society is would have to be looked at

Mr. Incognito

I have a son.

I think, I would support him in his defence. There is no point in an attempt to cover for him unhesitently.

Tell me how

anna080 wrote:

What?

Seriously? You don't understand the question?

retro:electro

Well, I assume he'd be in jail upon a hearing wouldn't he? If he pleaded his innocence I'd like to think I'd believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt. If the case showed me that it could only have been him that accessed the material well then I'd find that very hard to refute and I'd have to accept whatever the verdict was.

wakka12

Tell me how wrote: »

Would you wait until they were convicted or as soon as they were investigated?

Say your son was caught with a hard drive containing indecent images on a hidden partition. He said he had bought the drive on EBay and had proof of doing so, and that the partition must have been on it when he bought it.
And he claimed he never accessed it.

The case could be 18 months before getting to trial during which time he is on parole. How do you treat him in that time?

Sadly it would completely cloud my view of him and make me suspicious of everything he says for 18 months..once proved innocent Id be completely okay with him though and completely forget it

wakka12

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I just chose the parent child scenario in particular as many parents above any other type of relationship seem willing to die for their children, hence its an interesting discussion to see whether they'd lie to protect them if they've done something bad

kildare lad

depends on the crime, if it was rape, child abuse/ porn, id hang him out to dry, in fact i dont think id want to see him again if he done such things. Other crimes depending on the situation/or severity of the crime is another matter. For example, I knew a fella that sold drugs, his father found drugs in his house and brought them to the garda. The son got charged and ended up getting a suspended sentence. To make matters worse for the son. He still had to pay for the drugs. Would i do that...no chance.

Tell me how

anna080 wrote:

Well, I assume he'd be in jail upon a hearing wouldn't he? If he pleaded his innocence I'd like to think I'd believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt. If the case showed me that it could only have been him that accessed the material well then I'd find that very hard to refute and I'd have to accept whatever the verdict was.

The scenario I gave included him being on bail. So, if he pleaded his innocence, you could have 18 months taking his word for it. Then if he was convicted, I'm not sure how easy it would be to wash your hands of him. The genetic, familial bond plus 18 months of you listening to him plead his innocence might bring you closer to believing he was wrongly convicted than washing your hands of him.


It is a horrific thing to have to contemplate. I hope I never experience it in real life.

andekwarhola

Yes

biko

silverharp wrote: »

that's dumb, its natural to put your clan ahead of society , to what degree is debatable and how unreasonable society is would have to be looked at

I agree, it is natural to put your own before strangers/society. And probably this is what a lot, or even most, of parents would do, even if their child have committed murder.

But don't expect me to understand or forgive you if you are found out.

MilesMorales1

The crime and the context are everything in this scenario.

eviltwin

Nope, I love my kids but I won't let them get away with breaking the law.

whoopsadoodles

Your parental instinct is to protect your children at all costs.

For me, I assume it would depend on the crime but there isn't a chance in hell I could actually tell you now how I'd react to my kid being in trouble. Hopefully I'll never ever find out.

Kintarō Hattori

It's a question none of us can really ask unless we were put in the situation. As has been mentioned, a lot would be riding on how severe the crime was. However I'd put as much value on whether my daughter was genuinely remorseful and whatever act that had been committed was accidental or not.

iguana

I remember a few years ago there was a story in the news about a boy who was arrested for sexually assaulting/raping a local girl. The news of the assault happening was public before the arrest and the mother obviously had suspicions her son was involved. When the guards came to the door looking for him the mother went upstairs, supposedly to get him. Which ended with the guards having to run in and pull her off him because she was laying into him.

I can't fault her too much for that. I feel like I love my son unconditionally but I don't know how I'd cope with him committing a crime like that. I just hope that I'm raising him in such a way that I'll never find out. Outside of the issue of crimes, if he grew up to be a deadbeat dad or an addict who was a danger to the wellbeing of his children. I'd like to think I'd be there and offer all the support I could to his children (and their mother). I don't think he'd ever be that sort of man but I'd like to see the person who he genuinely is as he grows and not just view him through the eyes of his doting mother.

darkdubh

wakka12 wrote: »

Just watching a tv show got me thinking about it , the mother in the show is suspicious that her biological son had a role in the death of his adopted sister who went missing. So before police come to the house she deletes and destroys several pieces of evidence to throw any suspicion off her son.

I can't say for certain until I actually have a child but I think it'd depend on the situation. if I felt somebody was in danger because of my child, if my child was violent, Id definitely tell authorities
If it was something financial/fraud related I think I wouldnt say anything . Child abuse I would tell
But things like if they claim a murder or serious assault were in self defence? Hard to think what you'd do. Hard to live with the guilt, but I guess nobody wants to lose their child, and be the one who gave them in.

Was this a reallife case? Do you have a link?

Know a woman whose son did a few years for a series of aggravated sexual assaults on children, depraved stuff where some were tied up in an abandoned building while he assaulted them, some of them were pretty destroyed by it. She backed him to the hilt, he's been released now and he stays with her. She's been pretty much shunned by the community.

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wakka12

darkdubh wrote: »

Was this a reallife case? Do you have a link?

Nah its a tv show called kiri on channel 4. May be based on real case, Ive no idea