Not coping

Banaba

Hi all. I hope someone can help as I feel really bad. I am a final year nurse but have already taken two sick days in the past two weeks as I’m simply not coping. I lost my mum four month ago and was fine until a month ago. I lost a baby I really wanted just before Christmas and I’ve been an emotional wreck since. I’ve started crying more sporadically and cannot sleep. Last night I got three hours so had to call in sick cause I simply could not fulfil a 13 hour shift on 3 hours sleep. I plan to attend counselling and see my gp tomorrow but I feel like no one will understand and that all my sick leave will impact me getting a job once qualified. I feel like I’ve let people down and no one will understand. I don’t have a very stable home as I don’t get on overly well with my dad and I have no one else I can talk to. If anyone here can advise or sympathise I’d love to hear experiences or opinions thank you

ads20101

This is rough OP and I can empathise

You have been through some really traumatic times and to compound the matter you are in a year that expects a FYP and intern placements.

You need help, but I would like to say that people will understand. You are only human - people can only take so much!

Yes the GP is a point of call, but also ensure that your PDC / CPC knows what is going on. Talk to them or a nice ADON about a referral to Occ Health (if you haven't already) also ask for the number for the HSE staff counselling service. You can make contact with them without referral and in confidence.

However, you are also a tertiary level student. The uni will also have supports that may help, but like contacting the HSE you should also let the placement office in the uni know whats going on. Saying that your CPC can liaise this info too if you don't want to link with too many people.

Anyway, just to say, you're not on your own and there are people around who can support you.

alibab

Banaba wrote: »

Hi all. I hope someone can help as I feel really bad. I am a final year nurse but have already taken two sick days in the past two weeks as I’m simply not coping. I lost my mum four month ago and was fine until a month ago. I lost a baby I really wanted just before Christmas and I’ve been an emotional wreck since. I’ve started crying more sporadically and cannot sleep. Last night I got three hours so had to call in sick cause I simply could not fulfil a 13 hour shift on 3 hours sleep. I plan to attend counselling and see my gp tomorrow but I feel like no one will understand and that all my sick leave will impact me getting a job once qualified. I feel like I’ve let people down and no one will understand. I don’t have a very stable home as I don’t get on overly well with my dad and I have no one else I can talk to. If anyone here can advise or sympathise I’d love to hear experiences or opinions thank you

Ok first take a deep breath. 2 days sick leave really is not that much and you’re u will pay it back before qualifying so take that worry out of your head . Also it will most definitely not effect getting a job . I have presume as a 4 th year you are in a internship placement and you should have a preceptor asigned to you . I don’t know how far into placement you are or if you have had middle interview yet but you need to talk to your preceptor and you CPC . I can assure you there are processes in place to help you and if they know what is going on they will do all they can to assist especially CPC it’s not the first time a student will have needed help . There is option for you if you need to take time out maybe repeating placement will be a option . Yes it means delay in qualifying but your health is important.

I am sorry for both loses it can’t be easy and people will know this . I remember your post on being pregnant before Christmas and the stress you were under . I didn’t post at the time which I apologize but as a single mother and a Nurse I had nothing positive to add about trying to manage both on 13 hour days etc and you needed time to decide what was best . I am sorry to see the decision was taken from you .

Please talk to your CPC and preceptor this is all easily worked out I assure you . If I was your preceptor and noticing problems I would be relieved to know why .

Banaba

I will definitely speak to CPC and my manager and see what they think. Even if they are aware of how I feel they may be more understanding. Hopefully my doctor can help too. I just can’t stop crying when I’m alone. In the car on lunch anywhere I just miss her so much. I have no enjoyment in anything and look forward to nothing

Rubberchikken

Make your manager aware of what has happened and how youre feeling.
Youve gone through a lot in a short time and need to grieve.
The work will be there. You need time to heal first.

Tell me how

Banaba wrote:

I will definitely speak to CPC and my manager and see what they think. Even if they are aware of how I feel they may be more understanding. Hopefully my doctor can help too. I just can’t stop crying when I’m alone. In the car on lunch anywhere I just miss her so much. I have no enjoyment in anything and look forward to nothing

I'm not a healthcare worker or professional. This is just my opinion.

This is very personal health issue. Make sure everyone you talk to understand it is private and to be handled appropriately.

Your Dr may ask/suggest if you want some time off. Keep in mind long days possibly at home on your own if thinking of this. Personally, I think some time off would help with appropriate therapy. I don't know if light duties or reduced hours are an option in your position.

You are dealing with a traumatic experience and it is entirely understandable that it is difficult.

I'm sorry for your loss, hopefully your health will improve.

Stopped Clock

I'm sorry to read about your recent bereavements. I know nothing about nursing but two sick days doesn't sound so bad to me if your sick record has been good apart from that. Definitely talk to your manager and the people you need to so that you'll not suffer because of this. What you're going through is hopefully temporary and you'll come to terms with your losses in time.

I lost my mother nearly two years ago. I bottled it up for a very long time but the grief has caught up on me. I know all about the sleepless nights, the apathy and the crying. Everything reminds me of mum now and it makes me cry. Or should I say, it's yet another thing that makes me cry. I cry at least once every day now. I didn't do that for ages but I'm sinking now. I finally picked up the phone to book a counsellor and we have our first session this week. I hope it will help. I cried down the phone when booking a counsellor and that shows how fragile grief makes us. Don't be hard on yourself. You're still processing a lot and it will take a while to make your peace.

December2012

I am so sorry that you lost your baby and your mother, and so recently too. anybody who goes through something like that, will, at a certain point in time, need to rest, need to take care of themselves, and need to be taken care of, even a little bit.

its okay to feel the way that you do. at the very least, your hormones are still regularising themselves after your miscarriage. Have you talked to anybody about this? Have you any support?

Banaba

Good luck with the counselling I hope to start within the next two weeks also

Stopped Clock wrote: »

I'm sorry to read about your recent bereavements. I know nothing about nursing but two sick days doesn't sound so bad to me if your sick record has been good apart from that. Definitely talk to your manager and the people you need to so that you'll not suffer because of this. What you're going through is hopefully temporary and you'll come to terms with your losses in time.

I lost my mother nearly two years ago. I bottled it up for a very long time but the grief has caught up on me. I know all about the sleepless nights, the apathy and the crying. Everything reminds me of mum now and it makes me cry. Or should I say, it's yet another thing that makes me cry. I cry at least once every day now. I didn't do that for ages but I'm sinking now. I finally picked up the phone to book a counsellor and we have our first session this week. I hope it will help. I cried down the phone when booking a counsellor and that shows how fragile grief makes us. Don't be hard on yourself. You're still processing a lot and it will take a while to make your peace.

Banaba

Thank you all for your replies I feel like I have attained some support from this post alone. I do have support but limited. I have a partner who is good to me but doesn’t know what to say to alleviate the pain. My friends are the same and I don’t feel comfortable talking about my grief with them. I hope counselling will help. I thought I was doing good until now and I was but in the past 2 weeks I just cannot stop crying. I started crying in the shop this evening then cried all the way home until my face hurt

Banaba

Thank you for posting. No I have spoke to no one about the baby as no one knew I was pregnant

December2012 wrote: »

I am so sorry that you lost your baby and your mother, and so recently too. anybody who goes through something like that, will, at a certain point in time, need to rest, need to take care of themselves, and need to be taken care of, even a little bit.

its okay to feel the way that you do. at the very least, your hormones are still regularising themselves after your miscarriage. Have you talked to anybody about this? Have you any support?

December2012

Could you tell them in Work? There are parenting website forums that have areas specifically for people who suffered a miscarriage