does it constitute bullying?

LegacyUser

working in retail. one day per week a certain comes in to my place of work. ever since day one, he has not been nice to me, every time i serve him, he never has anything nice to say to me. usually he tries to make "jokes" or says something that he thinks is hilarious. i don't find him funny. not one biut. i never laugh at his "jokes". i usually get "whats wrong with your face?" "why are you so sour"? "do you not know how to smile?"

i am never impolite towards him. i always have my hellos, goodbyes, pleases and thank yous. to ne hoest, i just dont answer him when he makes those kind of comments.

so the other day, i saw him coming and i avoided serving him. as i was walking away, he made a comment about my weight. yes, i am overweight. however, he called me a name to his little buddy and he thought i didnt hear it. i did hear it though. i didnt saya nything to him there and then. i'll be ready for him next time though.

but does his actions constitute bullying? i don't want to go to my manager about this or nyting. i think its extremely childish behaviour on his part. but i don't think its right for him to speak to people the way he does. i don't see why i have to feign a laugh at his "jokes", or why i have to be false and pretend i am on a cloud of sunshine all the time. I'm not, so therefore i won't pretend to be. i never have any other issue with people in our shop.

next time he comes in and says something, i want to have a comeback. i want to shut him up. i would like to call him a bully, and i want to ask him if he speaks to his wife the way he speaks to me. i want t ask him is his family proud of him, that a grown man in his 50's/60's needs to resort to playground bullying to get his kicks.

Samuel T. Cogley

Coined by Churchill in a slightly different context though.

"I can lose weight you'll still be an ugly ****"

I would suggest though that you simply ignore the guy, people have been sacked for fairly innocuous come backs.

gercoral

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Coined by Churchill in a slightly different context though.

"I can lose weight you'll still be an ugly ****"

I would suggest though that you simply ignore the guy, people have been sacked for fairly innocuous come backs.

Yep I agree with this post, OP. He obviously has some sort of Napolean complex thing going on

Andrew Beef

But he’s a customer, not a colleague?

amcalester

Mention it to your manager, who if they are any good will observe this customer and how he interacts with you and your colleagues and then will be able to decide how best to proceed.

I don’t think it’s bullying per se some customers are just dickheads.

I wouldn’t say anything to the customer though, he sounds like the kInd of person who would turn this back on you, that you’re too touchy etc.

LegacyUser

Yes, he's a customer, not a colleague. Haha gercoral, yeah you're right!

He is perfectly fine to my colleagues. He talks to them as normal, says his few little jokes. But he has even gone so far and to turn to them and shout across the shop "what's wrong with this one?? where did ye get her? what's up with her face?".

I really wouldn't say it to my manager because he'd probably tell me to get over it. Which i know I should. I know certain thinga about this man that if i said them, I would absolutely annihilate him, but they are quite senstive subjects and I've been told not to. Plus I wouldn't stoop to his level.

Just annoys me that people think it's OK to comment to people like that. It wasn;t taht he called em fat, it was the name he used and the manner in which he said it and the amount of ears that heard him. Yep i agree 100% amcalester, some customers really are just pure dickheads

Wesser

God I can't believe the advice here.
I would definitely say, politely and firmly, it's not acceptable to speak to me like that
Make eye contact and show you are serious.
Don't mention his wife.

charlietheminxx

I don’t have any real advice for you OP but just wanted to say this is extremely common in retail. I worked in a newsagents for a few years and there was always a couple of bitter old men and women who would make rude comments to me and one of my female colleagues (never to the lads funnily enough). We would sometimes make sarcastic comments in a tongue in cheek way “is that what passes for polite conversation these days?” or “I’m flattered you’re so interested in me” but mostly we would just take the piss out of them afterwards. It kind of helped me not be upset about it.

It’s wrong that there are people in the world who act like him but in a customer facing role, all you can usually do is control your reaction and how you feel about it. Maybe get some colleagues on side and they might we willing to deal with this customer for you, or else they’ll share their horror stories of him and you can have each other’s backs.

dd972

This goon sounds in serious need of a life, beyond the social niceties and mechanisms involved in dealing with them I couldn't give a monkeys about shop staff, bring it up with your manager and they might organise it so someone else deals with them, the don't have the right to make you feel uncomfortable eventhough in their warped perception they do.

This situation actually can be reversed, I stopped going into a Centra near me because of this weird Polish bird behind the counter who, best described had 'a thing' about me, I'd be walking into the store or paying for goods and she'd be saying something to another staff member and sniggering, on another occasion her colleague said to her 'I don't want to get involved' - Involved in what, exactly?, so I just binned the place off and avoided it like the plague ever since, irony being I'm the sort of bloke who if I saw shop staff getting hassled I'd be on the side of the staff.

harr

I would go along the lines of just ignoring him or try to get a colleague to serve him.
And no it’s not bullying it just a dick head of a customer, say anything smart back to him and more than you would end up in trouble.

Unfortunately it happens in retail and I have come across pig ignorant customers when i worked in retail and as an old boss told me “ kill them with kindness “ so when ever anyone was snotty or ignorant with me I would over do the pleasantness and it would drive them mad.
Don’t be afraid to mention it to your manager if it continues you really shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in your place of work.