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27 Impotentcy in a relationship.

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  • 10-01-2018 11:12am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am in quite a complicated position in my relationship atm. Im not sure what to do. I am in love with the girl I am currently seeing for 7 months but I still have fears for the future as I dont see how my relationship is sustainable for the future. As I made a big mistake in my past which is going to severely alter my future.

    About 2 years ago I took a drug for hair loss. It was prescribed by a doctor and I was made aware of possible side effects. It only affects 2% of men and the side effects go away after u stop taking the drug. The doctor told me he gave it to about 1,000 patients and that it was safe. He said he takes it.

    So I took the drug and for 2 years I was ok. But then I began to experience the side effects ( I was seeing this girl for 2 months at this time)

    The side effects were sexual(loss of libido , ED )

    I went off the drug but now the side effects are worse. Sleep is mainly disrupted. I wake up every night. But from speaking to others with this condition it could be much worse.

    Generally I am doing ok. Its been a process of 7 months but I have gradually accepted this is the life I have to live for now and more than likely permantly of for the next few years.

    I am more than likely impotent for life. I was better sexually on the drug for instance.

    I have explained everything to my gf but she says she wants to stay but its very hard for me. Intimate moments are a constant remimder of my problem and I think its potentially unfair for me for her to get more attached. She is only 22. Sometimes I think she should be with someone who is healthy.

    I just think long term it could be quite a hard relationship on her being involved with soemone who has alot going on.

    I need to live a strict lifestyle with this condition to have energy and be able to work. I eat a specific diet, exercise daily and am very busy with work.

    Im just confused on what to do. Do I potentially hurt someone long term or end it with someone u are in love with?

    Impotence in a relationship with two people in their 20's is very hard and the likelyhood of me ever recovering are very slim. I dont give up hope and who knows maybe someday I will return to a level that I can...

    I have explained everything to her. The past what the future will could be like etc...

    I guess Its just her decision..


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    How much of you prognosis is qualified medical opinion based on a full examination and how much of it is self-diagnosed with Google?


  • Registered Users Posts: 109 ✭✭Jasper_


    Christ, had contemplated taking it myself. Just out of curiosity, how can you be 100% that it was the cause and not any underlying medical condition?

    I would say its her decision, she knows all the facts and she chooses to stay. Sex is a big part of a relationship, but often times penetration is not top of a woman's wish list. If you can do everything else well in the bedroom she could be more than satisfied.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    You never said you went to the doctor since you experienced these possible side effects.
    Go to a different doctor.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I have went to a few different doctor, their is nothing thay can do. Time may help but I will have to see. It was 100% the drug. I am perfectly healthy other than that


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    Is it possible a drug like Viagra may help with the ED?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Firstly, this could 100% be the hair loss drug but it could also be caused by something else. Have you had a full fasting blood workup and been checked for Diabetics and haemochromatosis as well as other conditions.

    Haemochromatosis could cause ED, lack of energy, sleep disruption and is very common in Ireland, it's also easy to treat. Get your Vitamin D & E checked too

    Your Girlfriend sound very understanding, try to enjoy being with her and to stop beating your self up about the ED, it's not productive and will only make things worse. When your head is messed up ED will get worse.


  • Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭WIZWEB


    Besides the obvious to try medication for ED I would also recommend seeing a psychotherapist. One specialilising in sexual issues. Most ED problems are psychological and can be resolved eventually. Many men experience them at some time in their adult lives. Putting excessive emotional and psychological pressures on yourself will definitely not help. I'd be surprised that this unnamed drug could have such a significant and permanent side effect.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭neonsofa


    WIZWEB wrote: »
    Besides the obvious to try medication for ED I would also recommend seeing a psychotherapist. One specialilising in sexual issues. Most ED problems are psychological and can be resolved eventually. Many men experience them at some time in their adult lives. Putting excessive emotional and psychological pressures on yourself will definitely not help. I'd be surprised that this unnamed drug could have such a significant and permanent side effect.

    I'm not a doctor but my hunch would be that what starts out as a genuine side effect can also become, and remain as, a psychological one long after the drug is stopped. I would strongly recommend talking to a new doctor about viagra or something similar, and a referral to a relevant therapist to address the issue psychologically.


  • Registered Users Posts: 540 ✭✭✭Solomon Pleasant


    What was the name of the drug?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 109 ✭✭Jasper_


    What was the name of the drug?

    Finasteride


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Has it stopped your own sexual interest? During intimate moments can you use your mouth or fingers?

    Have you spoke to a urologist?


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I have seen an urologist. This is not mental and their is nothing anyone can do sadly. Viagra also does not work.

    an article by Andrew Rynne who I have seen might make you understand the situuation im in.


    Post-finasteride syndrome is now a recognised condition, affecting as many as 20 per cent of those taking finasteride or who have ever taken this drug for whatever reason — benign prostatic hyperplasia, prostate cancer or male pattern baldness. The sexual side-effects of finasteride may be persistent or permanent.1
    The persistent sexual side-effects of finasteride may manifest after varying periods of taking the drug, or not until the drug is discontinued. It is not known why some men are susceptible to the potential adverse affects of finasteride, while others — the majority — are not affected.
    Persistent adverse effects of finasteride in younger men include erectile dysfunction, low libido, lack of orgasms and depression. One study has found lower levels of several neurosteroids in this population. Out of the various, persistent side-effects, erectile dysfunction and alcohol consumption issues have been the most studied in animal models. Further research is needed on who is susceptible to the persistent, adverse side-effects of finasteride and on the underlying mechanisms of the medication.2
    Fourteen young men have presented with post-finasteride syndrome and in addition to the adverse events reported above, common symptoms have included:

    Nocturnal urinary frequency that does not respond to anti-spasmodic therapy.
    Penile numbness, most particularly in the area of the fraenulum.
    ‘Brain fog’ and difficulty in concentrating.
    Misshapen penis, sometimes described as Peyronie’s disease. In my view, it is more Peyronie’s-like and is probably due to the laying-down of fibrous plaques along the tunica albuginea in a disorganised fashion.
    Severe depression and despair. Research is ongoing but it would now appear that there is a significant increased risk of suicide within this population.3
    Mondor’s disease of the penis, although one cannot be sure if this is finasteride-related.
    Chronic fatigue syndrome and muscular wasting.

    Biological mechanism

    finasteride is a 5 alpha reductase inhibitor. It prevents the conversion of testosterone into dihydrotestosterone (DHT). Dihydrotestosterone is the active form of testosterone. Testosterone on its own is inactive. Dihydrotestosterone is found in many parts of the body, including the hair follicles, where it plays a causative role in the development of natural male pattern baldness. It is also found in many brain cells, as part of the brain chemistry playing a role in neurotransmission.
    It is rare for any medication to permanently interfere with delicate brain function, such as sensitivity to pleasure or desire or thought processes. However, it now appears that finasteride may have this capacity in a subset of men. To a far lesser extent, SSRIs also have this potential, albeit in a less spectacular way.4 Interfering with brain chemistry is something not to be undertaken lightly.
    Management and prevention

    Unfortunately, on the question of the management or treatment of the syndrome, there is very little to reference. Research is ongoing, thanks mainly to the sterling work of the Post Finasteride Foundation, which was established in 2011.
    Until the underlying biological mechanism of the syndrome is understood, it is difficult to see from where a cure will come to help the thousands of men across the world who are suffering from the issues that this disease can cause.
    However, there are some ways that doctors might help patients with post-finasteride syndrome:

    A good listening ear. Acknowledge that the disease exists and that it has many and varied presentations, including symptoms like penis disfigurement, genital shrinkage and nocturnal urinary frequency.
    As best you can, try to explain our limited understanding of the syndrome. Never suggest that it is ‘psychological’ or that it is ‘all in your head’.
    Do not refer to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, as this may be interpreted as your non-acceptance of post-finasteride syndrome as a real entity.
    Do not refer to an endocrinologist as they, of necessity, will be no wiser than you.
    Slightly raise testosterone levels and lower oestrogen levels by the judicious use of testosterone gel and tamoxifen. Here, I use an empirical approach, as I have found that hormonal assay has nothing to offer.
    Treat erectile dysfunction in the usual way, although post-finasteride syndrome erectile dysfunction is often sildenafil- and *********-resistant.

    Prevention

    Since the treatment of post-finasteride syndrome is all but non-existent, it therefore behoves us as doctors to concentrate on prevention.
    Here, the key has to be awareness. If men were being told about the effects of finasteride, then it could be argued that very few, if any of them, would be prepared to run the risk for the sake of temporarily growing some hair on their heads. If men were told that up to 20 per cent of those who take finasteride develop sexual side-effects and that these side-effects may be life-long after discontinuing the drug, then that information alone could stop this condition in its tracks.
    At the beginning of this article, post-finasteride syndrome was described as ‘iatrogenic’, or doctor-made, and there is a strong argument to support this.
    It can be argued that if it were not for doctors prescribing finasteride for natural male pattern baldness, then there would be no post-finasteride syndrome in young men.
    We might still find it in older men being treated with finasteride, but at least fit, healthy young men would be spared the devastation that this condition can beget.
    It is true that many young men, desperate to find a solution for their natural balding, are going online and purchasing it from online pharmacies. Thus, you might say, at least in these cases, doctors are exonerated. But that is not quite true. All legal online pharmacies are doctor-dependent and have registered medical practitioners in the background, approving prescriptions for whatever it is the client thinks they need.
    In these cases, of course the chances of the client being properly warned of the dangers of finasteride are much reduced, since there is little, if any, interface between doctor and patient with online pharmacies.
    At the end of the day, it is up to all medical professionals — including doctors, pharmaceutical manufacturers, governments and regulatory authorities — to prevent post-finasteride syndrome by the simple expedient of making it unavailable.
    We need to do this urgently because a cure for this disease may still be a very long way off.

    Irwig MD et al. Journal of Sexual Medicine. Vol. 9 Issue 11. Pg 2927-2932.
    Irwig MD. Sex Med Rev 2014: 24-35.
    Clinical Study of Post-finasteride Syndrome Launched at University of Milano-Bicocca and University of Milano Research Aims to Determine why PFS Patients Develop Neurological and Psychological Dysfunction. JSM Vol. 2 issue 4. February 18, 2014.
    Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, Vol 59 (Suppl 4), 1998, 48-54.

    Research

    To help keep yourself updated on developments in research of Post-finasteride syndrome, please see www.pfsfoundation.org.


    Case study

    Damian is a 29-year-old, single software engineer. He is a non-smoker and light weekend drinker. He takes regular exercise, eats sensibly, looks after his health and is in good physical shape. Three years ago he was prescribed finasteride for his male pattern baldness. He took this drug from May 2009 until September 2011.
    While taking it, he noticed no ill effects and it seemed to work very well for him in halting the progress of his balding and even starting the growth of new hair. He was on no other medication.
    Having been on the medication for two years and four months, Damian decided he would like to give himself a break and stopped the drug abruptly in September 2011. Within a week of his stopping Proscar, he began to notice some significant symptoms. In the main, these were:

    Difficulty in achieving or sustaining an erection.
    Loss of interest in sexual matters — loss of libido.
    Nocturnal urinary frequency causing sleep deprivation.
    Penile numbness, particularly in an area behind the fraenulum.
    Total loss of sensation during ejaculation — sexual anhedonia.

    At first, Damian did not make any connection between these symptoms and his having previously taken finasteride. He had been advised about possible sexual side-effects experienced by less than 1 per cent of men while taking the drug and that these symptoms disappeared on discontinuing it. Nobody, however, had mentioned to him of the possibility of side-effects appearing only after discontinuing this hair-loss medication. Indeed, such a concept ran contrary to most people’s notion of drugs’ side-effects.
    It was only after exhaustive online research and on finding a website dedicated to post-finasteride syndrome that it began to dawn on Damian that this was indeed what he had.
    During this research, my name came up as someone who might know something about his condition and that is why he contacted and consulted with me.

    Definition of post-finasteride syndrome

    Post-finasteride syndrome can be defined as: “An iatrogenic disease of brain chemistry brought about by an esoteric response to the 5 alpha reductase inhibitor finasteride and characterised by one or many persistent or permanent sexual, physical and intellectual dysfunctions.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,341 ✭✭✭tara73


    this is horrible, why is such stuff still allowed to prescribe.

    OP, I would not give up hope. Try to find specialists, if necessary outside of Ireland, I think it's worth investing some money.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    OP

    Is it permanent?

    https://www.careoncall.ie/hair-loss

    This site is saying that the effects are only temporary. If they are permanent you might have a legal case.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    This post has been deleted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    OP, sorry you are experiencing this.

    Have you considered counseling?

    Someone said it earlier, that penetration, and indeed functioning genitalia are not the be all and end all of a relationship worth having. If your partner says she is happy to be with you, you should take her at her word.


    As for Finasteride, this is a serious drug - not to be messed with. In some cases it is used as an androgen blocker in transwomen. Donald Trump uses it, according to a report from his personal physician: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2017/02/03/side-effects-of-the-drug-trump-reportedly-takes-for-hair-loss/


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,720 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    It is also worth considering if there are other sexual options that would work for both of you. The most obvious other options would be oral and manual, and perhaps sex toys might have a role too.

    You might want to think about whether this would be a possible solution for you as a couple.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    There are millions of people on finasteride for male patern baldness, it’s been prescribed for over 20 years.

    There are a lot of horror stories online about it but a lot seem to boil down to correlation without causation. With the horror stories you have read on your mind you will be projecting that on yourself.

    ED symptoms are often psychological, I get the feeling that anytime you try to be intimate a part of your mind is thinking about all the worries about side effect of the finasteride. No quicker way to kill your erection.

    I believe the way the test if your ED is psychological is to test if you get erect during sleep as men of young age do throughout the night. They can measure the girth of your penis throughout the night and give results on it.

    Out of interest, what dosage and for how long did you take?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 19 26going80


    Hey mate lets say your ed is a permanent condition, then you have afew options left,
    Try all the oral drugs, then muse and injections and then there is penile implants that have a very high satisfaction rate
    And true, penile implants are generally for older men but if your permanently soft id get the operation..
    Look up franktalk.org
    Hope this helps


This discussion has been closed.
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