Feeling bitter and resentful

LegacyUser

About eight months ago I had to transfer to a new job on medical grounds. I've had long term health issues for a long time and the basics of my condition are known among my senior managers so that if an ambulance ever had to be called, specific information could be relayed to the medical personnel. My transfer took a long time to organise and when it was finally approved, it was mentioned at a senior staff meeting. The official reason for my transfer was never disclosed at this meeting, just enough was disclosed so that no-one would assume it was anything personal etc. One of my senior managers did confirm the reason for my departure with me (they have personal knowledge of my long term health issues and the likely consequences etc).

I work in a relatively small industry in Ireland where pretty much everyone has heard of everyone else. A visitior to my department who I went to college with was talking to that same senior manager and mentioned that he knew me. At this time, she disclosed my medical condition to him and the fact that it was so serious that it was responsible for me seeking a medical transfer.

This wouldn't be common knowledge at all and is something that I am very uncomfortable with.

I received a very forced, cursory apology for this when another senior manager mentioned to her how distressing this was for me.

Unfortunately, I still have fairly regular dealings with my old department and while I've tried to put it all behind me, I am still very bothered by what happened and the fact that she faced literally no consequences for essentially gossiping with highly personal information.

I've been told (unoficially) that there is no point in making a complaint against her as in such a small industry, all that will happen is that I will get a reputation that would prove very damaging to me in terms of seeking further advances in my career. I think, on balance, that I agree with this and I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face.

Additionally, I don't think that I can bring it up with her directly as it's been so long.

But I'm still very bothered by this. It dominates my thoughts on a daily basis, it has prevented me from sleeping quite a lot and I'm just so angry a lot of the time. I feel like I'm going mad to be entirely honest.

I'd really welcome any advice on how to move past this.

Aspadeaspade

OP I don't know what your health problems are but I do know that this kind of negativity is not good for anyone's health. You have to think of that first and foremost. You'll just have to get over it. Most probably there was no malice in what she did. Unfortunately a lot of people across the board are not equipped to deal with these kind of situations or sensitive information. I recommend you do you best to move on and get over it. It's not worth it when the stress and negativity and the damage that can do to your health is well documented by now. Take an oath to be kinder to yourself and change your mentality on the issue and move on.