Maintenance advice please

Esme266

Hi all
I am looking for some general advice about maintenance??? My ex with whom I have 2 children with pays 100 a week for our kids. They stay with me full time and spend 2 hours a week at his. We are broken up about 3 months now. I work 3 days a week in a town an hour away from home and in February I am going back to 4 days a week as I'm really struggling. He has told me that because it's my choice to work an extra day, he's not paying anymore money for childcare and I am to cover it myself. I have done up a list of expenses dor the kids and the 100 does not cover his half. He refuses to consider any increase. He has his own business and makes good money. His work covers most of his expenses and he has a Boat loan and is getting a company car. He tells me the kids don't cost much as they don't eat much and child benefit should cover the childcare. I have been to a solicitor but I feel I may need to go back as I am really struggling financially and am covering everything. Our kids are 2 and 4 and I also have an 11 year old whose father left when I was pregnant. Am I being unreasonable or greedy as he seems to think so

Funny Feeling

Check out the one parent group on fb. Plenty of these types of questions.

racso1975

Ideally you should try to go the route of mediation which can be done for free. if you look at citizens information you will find the nearest one to you. It can be a very good process to go through where they get you to examine all aspects of children's needs not just maintenance but access, medical treatments, schooling, holidays etc.

Once agreement has been reached you can bring that document to court to make it legally binding.

If you think this is not an option for you then you need to go to court and let a judge decide. They can increase the payments etc and they can also, if they choose increase the access but given he only wants 2 hours a week it is prob unlikely to happen.

Best of luck with it

Big Bag of Chips

The website www.solo.ie have an expenses checklist that you can fill in to breakdown your expenses. If you are going to try the route of mediation (I believe court will ask you have you attempted/suggested it before going to court) then you should fill it in and bring it.

Your 3rd child is irrelevant to your ex and his expenses should not be counted. If you are struggling financially then you should also be trying to apply for maintenance from that Dad. €100 a week for 2 children isn't unreasonable. And you may or may not be granted an increase. You may be able to get written in to the agreement extra payments for things like back to school and Christmas etc.

You need to speak to a family law solicitor. You and your ex are not going to be able to agree this between you.

LegacyUser

100eu is totally unreasonable for two children. When my kids were smallies the childcare alone a week was over 150eu. Food, clothing and not to mention medical costs if any.

100 would cover one child nicely. Of the mothers i know one received 720 a month for two children and the other received 60 a week for two children.
I myself the most I recieved was 150 a week for two children whilst i needed childcare, the ex had his own business so i had no issue asking for above and beyond for his main priority. Just because the relatioship fails it doesnt mean financial priorities of a child become less expensive or important.
Jobs come and go, childcare needs increase and decrease costs change. This should be made flexible in any maintanence order. To give a fixed amount for a long duration doesnt work, my ex pays 70 a week per child now i dont need childcare.

Also why is he only seeing them for two hours per week?

Mediation may work, have all your incomings and outgoings in order and keep pushing for it to be arranged as soon as possible. Financial burdens become very stressful pretty fast.

Xterminator

Hi Op

if you feel he is not pulling his weight financially then you should call legal aid and get a maintenance order set in family court.

Hes not going to do the right thing, unless he has to.

LegacyUser

Esme266 wrote: »

I have been to a solicitor but I feel I may need to go back

Unquestionably you need to go back. Your solicitor is you primary ally in these matters and forget the amicable self-arranged deal, they're rare at best and once he wants to renege on what was a good deal for him, just tag your solicitor in and let them earn their corn. If the deal was the subject of a court order, binding mediation agreement or anything like that, it's not his choice to withhold money, he only has the right to seek a review of those orders.