Just continually sad

ninesheep

I feel so sad every single day. I have times where I can laugh and distract myself and it seems alright but always the sadness is there waiting to come out.

I'm so so lonely, I'm gay but I hate the fact I'm gay and its something I'm hiding from my family. My family in itself is pretty messed up, I spent Christmas alone for the second year because of it. It's a long story but essentially my family is not very close.

I don't seem to get on with gay people I know, I'm not into the whole flag waving flamboyance side of it that so many people I know are and I don't like the whole casual sex thing from apps like Grindr.

I have one close friend who I don't want to pester with my problems but I'm so sad and feel so lonely. I don't even know what I'm trying to get from this but it just feels so bad now I am tired of everyday being a struggle against the sadness. I just want to feel like someone loves me and that I'm not just existing here not important to anyone.

What can I do to stop this constant sadness because I am so tired of it now

Samuel T. Cogley

These things are a vicious circle. You don't like aspects of yourself which leads to sadness, which leads to not liking aspects of yourself. Seek medical help in the first instance. Modern Antidepressants are an absolute Godsend and will give you a completely different outlook, that's when the medication is right of course so be patient.

Then I'd look at CBT in regards to your feelings about your sexuality. You are who you are at the end of the day. In regard to how you approach relationships plenty of gay people feel the same way about the scene, in the same way plenty of straight people avoid Coppers. There are plenty of dating sites for people looking for long term relationships and once you start to feel better people will come along in everyday life.

Speak to your friend; if they're a true friend they will be gutted you didn't turn to them for help. If not then well C'est la vie.

WIZWEB

OP. Perhaps see your GP as they will be able to source relevant resources as required. I would also suggest that you consider Counselling to deal with your unhappiness around your sexuality. Your GP would recommend it anyway as your general unhappiness most likely is enmeshed with your negative feelings around your sexuality. It's a permanent personality feature so the sooner you accept it the better your life will become. In my experience an eventual self acceptance proves to be a very positive mood altering experience for many.

Your family sounds toxic and if this cannot be resolved for whatever reasons then I would suggest continuing maintaining as little contact as possible.

The gay 'community' is hugely diverse in nature. Many of us abhor engaging in the stereotypes you mention. MeetUp.com for example offers varied LGBT themed social groups including hiking, football, running, acting, rugby, meeting for dinner, mindfulness etc. I've tried a few. There are all types of personalities that engage as often or little as they desire. They are not specifically organized for dating but to enjoy shared hobbies and interests. Not a bad way to meet a prospective partner though through shared interests.