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Adoption what is the most effective and timely way??

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  • 31-12-2017 1:37pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 31


    Hi we are considering adoption for the past few years. We have tried to conceive unsuccessfully over 6 years, we moved to donor eggs but miscarried both occasions. My heart was more in adoption than donor eggs and we attended a TUSLA meeting, but due to the bad reputation of the Irish adoption system (TUSLA etc) and the horror stories of potential adopters of the process here, it made it sound impossible and a worse experience than years of failed fertility treatments. It was only because of this bad press for the Irish adoption system that we moved away from it to donor eggs (as I believe many Irish couples are doing having been to infertility meetings and heard them). My preference is to adopt and provide someone who needs it a chance of a loving home. We are being encouraged to try donor eggs again but my heart tells me to go back to adoption. The main barrier is the Irish civil service system sounds slow and ineffective, times like this I wish we lived somewhere else like UK.
    Can anyone tell me the reality of the situation is there an effective way..is the USA quicker or Bulgaria?


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 18,539 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    Stressedms wrote: »
    Hi we are considering adoption for the past few years. We have tried to conceive unsuccessfully over 6 years, we moved to donor eggs but miscarried both occasions. My heart was more in adoption than donor eggs and we attended a TUSLA meeting, but due to the bad reputation of the Irish adoption system (TUSLA etc) and the horror stories of potential adopters of the process here, it made it sound impossible and a worse experience than years of failed fertility treatments. It was only because of this bad press for the Irish adoption system that we moved away from it to donor eggs (as I believe many Irish couples are doing having been to infertility meetings and heard them). My preference is to adopt and provide someone who needs it a chance of a loving home. We are being encouraged to try donor eggs again but my heart tells me to go back to adoption. The main barrier is the Irish civil service system sounds slow and ineffective, times like this I wish we lived somewhere else like UK.
    Can anyone tell me the reality of the situation is there an effective way..is the USA quicker or Bulgaria?

    Having been through the system of assessment twice I would describe the system as thorough yet essential. Yes it’s slow, but really that would be the closest thing to a negative comment I would make, and it’s not really a negative either.
    It ensures a family are in things for the long haul and not just turning to adoption on a whim.


  • Registered Users Posts: 170 ✭✭rainemac


    Hi stressedms,

    This time 3 years ago (2/01/15) we sent the letter to Tusla to say we wanted to pursue intercountry adoption. We are currently waiting to travel to Vietnam to meet our little person, having had a match in 2017.
    Our timeline was; prep course started in April 15, finished in June. Assessment started in September and we got our declaration in March 2016.
    We ended up switching countries from Bulgaria to Vietnam in March 2017 and received a placement in principal and waiting on the Article 17 and travel dates now. I know it might seem like a long 3 years but time passes and we "wasted" a year with our pack in Bulgaria, which kind of can happen as things change so frequently in intercountry adoption.
    At the moment China and Vietnam are the quickest countries to adopt from. Helping hands adoption mediation agency is the irish agency and they have info on their website.
    Send me a pm if you want more info or haved questions.
    Best of luck with your decision.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,118 ✭✭✭ABC101


    Stressedms wrote: »
    Hi we are considering adoption for the past few years. We have tried to conceive unsuccessfully over 6 years, we moved to donor eggs but miscarried both occasions. My heart was more in adoption than donor eggs and we attended a TUSLA meeting, but due to the bad reputation of the Irish adoption system (TUSLA etc) and the horror stories of potential adopters of the process here, it made it sound impossible and a worse experience than years of failed fertility treatments. It was only because of this bad press for the Irish adoption system that we moved away from it to donor eggs (as I believe many Irish couples are doing having been to infertility meetings and heard them). My preference is to adopt and provide someone who needs it a chance of a loving home. We are being encouraged to try donor eggs again but my heart tells me to go back to adoption. The main barrier is the Irish civil service system sounds slow and ineffective, times like this I wish we lived somewhere else like UK.
    Can anyone tell me the reality of the situation is there an effective way..is the USA quicker or Bulgaria?

    Best to contact Helping Hands adoption Mediation Agency in Cork. Ask for Mary as she has the brains.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4 ocal


    Stressedms wrote: »
    Hi we are considering adoption for the past few years. We have tried to conceive unsuccessfully over 6 years, we moved to donor eggs but miscarried both occasions. My heart was more in adoption than donor eggs and we attended a TUSLA meeting, but due to the bad reputation of the Irish adoption system (TUSLA etc) and the horror stories of potential adopters of the process here, it made it sound impossible and a worse experience than years of failed fertility treatments. It was only because of this bad press for the Irish adoption system that we moved away from it to donor eggs (as I believe many Irish couples are doing having been to infertility meetings and heard them). My preference is to adopt and provide someone who needs it a chance of a loving home. We are being encouraged to try donor eggs again but my heart tells me to go back to adoption. The main barrier is the Irish civil service system sounds slow and ineffective, times like this I wish we lived somewhere else like UK.
    Can anyone tell me the reality of the situation is there an effective way..is the USA quicker or Bulgaria?

    Just saw this post. Can you tell me what is involved with interview process. Am I reading correctly that your saying it took a total of 3 years to wait from beginning paper work & interview process. Any idea of costs. Ooc


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,539 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    The process involves a number of visits both to your home and you visiting them in the office.

    Here’s a little no to what they want to cover regarding “suitability”.

    http://www.tusla.ie/services/alternative-care/adoption-services/intercountry-adoption/suitability-criteria

    From speaking to friends who went through the process back when we did and since the line of questioning and details covered will vary from one social worker to another and obviously on the couple being assessed.

    It’s not easy by any standard but neither should it be easy. It covers lots of topics people don’t like to talk about with a stranger. I’ve heard of SW asking to be shown round a house, I’ve heard of them walking about opening presses, we never experienced those things.
    I couldn’t speak higher of the SW we had and any we dealt with in the process. They were professional and friendly and seemed on top of their jobs. We were well researched on the adoption process and members of groups like ICCG & others before starting which put us in contact with some great people.

    I think it’s inappropriate to talk costs publicly but it also depends on how many trips you must do abroad and what standard you expect to travel in. I will PM you regarding this, but my experience is 10 years out of date.


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