How often do you fight with your OH and does it involve shouting?

LadyMacBeth_

So, inspired by the noisy neighbours thread, I have neighbours (a couple) above me that have very loud arguments, screaming, shouting, slamming doors, storming out of the apartment. Telling each other to go and fcuk themselves etc. My neighbours on my right also have loud arguments but I haven't heard them use such insults. So, do you argue with your OH a lot and if you do, does it involve shouting or raising your voice? My missus doesn't tolerate shouting of any kind and refuses to engage so if we ever have an argument it's more of a discussion really, and we don't argue that much. Are we the freaks or are my neighbours the weird ones?

dartboardio

I would say your neighbours are the weird ones. My partner is like your wife and won't shout during an arguement, is quite calm, collective. Where as I would be the one to raise my voice first, we'd only ever have a full blown arguement every few months if that! That's not to say I don't nit pick annoyingly from time to time 😊😳

r3nu4l

We hardly ever row and if we do it's usually mild sniping for a bit before we look at one another, acknowledge we're being a bit silly and then laugh.

Very occasionally during the past nineteen years we've had a shouting row, even though we've both been through the mill a couple of times over the years.

In the earliest days of our relationship we argued a lot because we were immature morons. Thankfully we grew up

splinter65

We hardly fight anymore. We used to fight shout slam doors. I found it too stressful . Less stressful just to agree with and to more or less everything within reason.
No more point scoring.
Life’s too short.

Zaph

My wife and I have never once had what could be described as a proper argument. There has been the odd time where one of us will do something that annoys the other, but neither of us see any point in having a row about it and we'll usually resolve matters pretty quickly. Living with someone where there is constant drama sounds too much like hard work.

wakka12

I don't think shouting at your OH so loud that neighbours hear should ever be considered normal!
I have small disagreements with my OH,but its never gets out of hand, but I can't imagine ever telling them to go **** themselves unless they did something so bad I wanted to break up

I used to get moody about little things and ignore him without really telling him what he did wrong but Im ashamed of myself for having been so petty. Now I just get over anything and move on unless it wasn't accidental that he made me feel mad or upset

Shenshen

We do argue occasionally. We really are rather different people, I've heard us being described as "chalk and cheese" before, so I guess that's just natural. However, I can't recall us ever having anything you could call a fight. I think I shouted at him once in all the years we were together, and I can't remember him ever shouting at me. Given all we've been through together, I think that's actually rather amazing.

But then again, I do hold a bit of admiration for people in more passionate and volatile relationships. I'd hate to be in one myself, but it makes for interesting stories, I would imagine.

mojesius

Fight rarely but have 'trivial disagreements' that we sort out on the spot. We never leave stuff brewing and are both generally easy-going and just want a fuss-free life.

I'd hate to be in a relationship/marriage with screaming rows telling each other to f off. Couldn't deal with the drama.

Rumpy Pumpy

Just after having a blazing one now over marmalade getting on the butter. I’m out in the car listening to Lyric in an attempt to calm down, while she’s at the living room window giving me the finger.

We don't have blazing rows but we certainly do argue. As Shenshen mentioned we too are very different people so it's inevitable that the waters won't always run still. I'm very calm which helps us because himself can fly off the handle very easily. Each couple has their own way of dealing with conflict, be that healthy or not.

mojesius

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

Just after having a blazing one now over marmalade getting on the butter. I’m out in the car listening to Lyric in an attempt to calm down, while she’s at the living room window giving me the finger.

I'd be giving you the finger too for getting marmalade on the butter

clairewithani

Single now but back in the day no rows. Just me shouting and he ignoring.

Flibble

Yell at each other A LOT so that someone would possibly think we were fighting if they heard us and only focused on noise level over content. Really it's all just funny arguments and making up stupid insults for eachother- all ends in laughing.

Proper angry arguments... Never. A discussion, yeah, but arguments no.

JimmyMcGill

mojesius wrote: »

I'd be giving you the finger too for getting marmalade on the butter

She won't be getting the Rumpy Pumpy tonight with that carry on!

whoopsadoodles

mojesius wrote: »

I'd be giving you the finger too for getting marmalade on the butter

I'd be far more likely to get upset if the butter was put into the marmalade rather than the other way around. Mank.

DeanAustin

I’d be calm enough but she’s much less so. We’ve had a few screaming matches because she can push certain buttons where I just lose it. Not healthy. We’ve done it a few times in front of the kids which is particularly bad.

RocketRaccoon

Myself and my wife are together 8 years and have had 1 argument that lasted about 3 minutes, it was over something absolutely pathetic and we still laugh about it every other day.

It's for this reason that I know we were meant for each other.

Lia_lia

We never really fight tbh. Both fairly laid back. If we do fight it’s usually about cleaning. Think we’ve had an argument where we shouted at each other once. We were both drunk.

Used to have neighbours that would argue and shout all the time, so I know what it’s like! The woman would also shout at her kid all the time..was awful to hear. Things like “I’ll f*cking kill you!!!” to her 7 year old little girl.

Malayalam

I think I must have some Mediterranean in my blood because from time to time I remind myself of an Italian senorita roaring from a balcony at a neighbour in what is locally accepted morning chit chat. My husband hardly so much as bats an eyelid and can even be seen to occasionally smile at something funny he is remembering. Usually it ends in laughing but having said that he can be a ferociously annoying bollox and deserves a hundred times more Mediterranean style drama than I can summon due to fear for my poor heart. I just don't do cold.

shamrock55

Married 13 years,often annoy or piss eachother off but never actually shouted at eachother

Some of you are awfully mature

the beer revolu

The silent treatment can get me in to a shouty rage.
I really hate fighting with my lover so it usually gets brought to a head pretty quickly.

markc1184

I'll be with my partner 10 years next month and I could count on 1 hand with fingers to spare how many arguments we have had.

andekwarhola

We do argue but not really any shouting. Definitely no insults.

I'm not actually against a bit of shouting and whatnot. You have to see things in context. If that's how both people in the relationship vent and it's harmless and gets resolved, that's up to them. I'd actually prefer that to more insidious things like silent treatment or sulking.

I'd probably be a bit more inclined to blow up slightly but my wife is very placid /easy going so our disputes tend to be quite civilised which works in the long run.

Ten of Swords

I've had loud shouting matches with my boyfriend but they are short - couple of minutes at most and then it's into sullen silences.

I have a temper, it's gotten me into trouble before because I can really go for the jugular and say terrible things if I see red, so if things really start to kick off I usually just leave for a few hours (or longer) and turn my phone off. My OH can get very worked up if he feels he has been wronged or not listened to and will fight his corner too if provoked but isn't fond of direct confrontation either.

To be honest though I hate fighting with him, it leaves me with a horrible gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach (whether I felt I was justified or not) and I don't feel right until after we've talked to each other calmly later on, even if we haven't resolved the core issue.

eviltwin

Yep we argue, mostly about politics and leaving the lights on ( him ) and wasting food ( me ). But we never go to bed on an argument and we always make up. We have shouted but mostly when we were younger.

bee06

We’ve never had an argument and never shouted at each other. If one is cross at the other it’s usually passive aggressive silence which I don’t think is much better. Usually it will go on for a few hours until the mad one realised they are being stupid and explains and apologises or we talk it through and get over it. Disagreements don’t happen very often though as we tend to agree on most things.

Although the upcoming few years of lack of sleep may change that if this baby ever decides to show itself!

DEFTLEFTHAND

Alcholism is the only disease you get yelled at for having.

bazz26

Mary and John:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTn6c1NMxjM

_Dara_

We’d have a row every few weeks but it rarely involves full-blooded shouting, just raised voices, huffing on both ends then sheepish apologies all round a few hours later. We definitely don’t seek out rows, we’re not drama queens. I don’t believe rows demonstrate passion. But I don’t mind the rows either, they remind me that there’s red blood flowing through my veins. Rows are human. To flip flop George Bush’s speech, I’d rather be more like the Simpsons, less like the Waltons!

Since my cancer diagnosis, my temper has shown its face more. Note: cancer does not make you a better person.

We don't row and i'm definitely not a shouty kind of person. If someone thought having an argument naturally involved insults i'd be gone. It just sounds so nasty.
If i need space i will say i need space before talking about it. I'm sure these things are generally a communication thing and trying to see the other person's side. Sometimes a bad mood is due to something else piling up in which case it's like hey did something happen today or?

suicide_circus

Raised voices maybe once or twice a year. Certainly no personal insults or the like.

_Dara_

andekwarhola wrote: »

We do argue but not really any shouting. Definitely no insults.

Unfortunately, hubs and I are both handy enough at deploying the low blow. Not the best trait to have.

LadyMacBeth_

Just to expand on my OP, I grew up in a family where my parents shouted at each other pretty regularly, though no horrible insults, just any sort of disagreement would lead to raised voices. They'd also shout at me and my sister so we shouted back.

With my first long term relationship we shouted at each other when we had an argument, and we fought a lot, but we were teenagers and that's how our parents communicated and I think we thought it was normal.

With my OH, sometimes I do think I should be better at communicating my feelings as I tend to bottle things up and say nothing, to avoid hurting her feelings usually. I sometimes would like to shout, often I'm getting worked up about something else, not an argument with her but say something or someone has pissed me off and I have a natural urge to have a rant about it, but even if I raise my voice in a way that isn't giving out to her, she tells me not to shout at her, which can be a bit frustrating because sometimes that's how I need to vent.

I've learned not to raise my voice now though. I think the odd shouting match probably would clear the air, but insults have no place. The things that the neighbours above me say to each other are horrific, I wouldn't say those things to someone I hated, let alone someone I'm supposed to love and be in a relationship with!

SeaFields

We used never argue but do occasionally now. It's always down to tiredness with very young kids in the house. Never involved shouting and always end up jokingly slagging each other about it afterwards.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

mad muffin

FÜCK OFF!! YOU FÜCK OFF!!!! GO FÜCK YOURSELF!! THATS WHAT YOULL BE DOING FROM NOW ON!! FÜCK YOU!! NOT NO MORE YOU BASTARD!! BITCH!!!

Malayalam

Well. 32 years we've been together, since we were childer, me with my occasional fire, him with his inscrutable mellowness, and now the children are here giving occasional guff in the way they have learned from their mother, and all is well with the world. Merry Christmas to ye all.

Donald Trump

I have the secrets to happiness. Maturity, mutual respect, commitment, loyalty, and understanding. Oh, and also, I learned that we can't row if I just ignore the stupid fat ould mental bitch


(I'm due for an upgrade soon anyways)

If I'm angry I step away before I find myself saying things I regret and behaving in a way that disappoints us both. I'm not often angry but I'll always say that there's no point in trying to resolve anything while I'm not feeling reasonable. I don't shout at him, he doesn't shout at me, thems the rules.

If someone really loses control of themselves the conversation isn't going to be productive anyway.

retro:electro

We rarely fight. I rarely argue with anyone in my life. I can't be arsed and I'm too lazy for that shlte.

Conor Bourke

bazz26 wrote: »

Mary and John:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTn6c1NMxjM

Relationship goals

lawred2

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

So, inspired by the noisy neighbours thread, I have neighbours (a couple) above me that have very loud arguments, screaming, shouting, slamming doors, storming out of the apartment. Telling each other to go and fcuk themselves etc. My neighbours on my right also have loud arguments but I haven't heard them use such insults. So, do you argue with your OH a lot and if you do, does it involve shouting or raising your voice? My missus doesn't tolerate shouting of any kind and refuses to engage so if we ever have an argument it's more of a discussion really, and we don't argue that much. Are we the freaks or are my neighbours the weird ones?

With my now wife 10 years - married the last 6 years.

We haven't once raised our voices to each other. We tend to more discuss things to the point of tedium rather than argue.

I'm glad we're so similar because I couldn't be arsed with the opposite. Don't have the energy.

boardsuser1

Most often we fight because she burns the ears off me, literally a talkaholic and I’m a self confessed crank at the best of times.

Tonight i expect hassle as well, I’m bed bound with a stomach so bad I cannot control my bowel motions.

So as a result I requested a glass of mi wadi orange on which I’m still waiting to receive :pac:

MadYaker

I’ve never once been in an argument with anyone that turned into a full on shouting match. There’s just no need for it.

lukesmom

We don't often row but when we do its pretty heated. Making up is the best part though.

soups05

my wife and I used to have daily arguments, shouting, screaming, smashing plates, slamming doors until one day we discovered that you don't need a row to have make up sex. you just call it regular sex and have at it. :P





naw, in all honesty we will have a good shouting match about twice a year, clears the air and lets each of us vent at the other. hhmmm, been a few months come to think of it. off to annoy her now.









on 2nd thought, best not, feeling a little achy and sore so she may beat the snot outta me if i start

suicide_circus

BuboBubo

Married for 11 years, we never shout at each other. Luckily we are happily married so far.

One of my colleagues hasn't spoken to her fella for 3 weeks. They're together in the same house just ignoring and snubbing the sh1t out of each other. It's amazing how some choose to live

la ultima guagua

So, anyone else read the thread titlle as

How often do you fight with your OH and does it involve shooting?


LadyM, you one scarey Lady.

Cork Truck Driver

Cork Truck Driver wrote: »

Most often we fight because she burns the ears off me, literally a talkaholic and I’m a self confessed crank at the best of times.

Tonight i expect hassle as well, I’m bed bound with a stomach so bad I cannot control my bowel motions.

So as a result I requested a glass of mi wadi orange on which I’m still waiting to receive :pac:

did she not just give birth??