Broken

Fr_Dougal

Do you think that someone can have experienced so much in life that no matter what happens to them that they have a predetermined path in life that nobody can influence?

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

Drink! Drink! Feic! Arse!Drink!

jamesbere

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

The one Word I would use is we need to Excel in life.

Dr Turk Turkelton

Sounds like protestant talk to me Father.

dd972

Well, one of the most depressing things is that you can't change your basic personality, some folk have personalities that work for them, make them the authors of their fates and have the ability to make others perceive them how they wish to be perceived and others have personalities that work against them, stop them from being successful in life and are at the mercy of whatever is said or made up about them. That's how it seems to me anyway.

Atlantic Dawn

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

When I see Tldr I aways think of Toploader and this tune...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yBnIUX0QAE

tomwaterford

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

I agree!


Life's what yous make of it....if yous have a crappy outlook...you'll have a crappy life

Atoms for Peace

jamesbere wrote: »

The one Word I would use is we need to Excel in life.

Great advice on how to Access your full potential.

jamesbere

Atoms for Peace wrote: »

Great advice on how to Access your full potential.

Well it really Works

Steve

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Do you think that someone can have experienced so much in life that no matter what happens to them that they have a predetermined path in life that nobody can influence?

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

Yes.


btw, TLDR only applies to long posts, yours didn't even come close..


Life is hard, you make your own destiny. Unfortunately in this country, wasters expect everything to be handed to them and if it goes wrong it's someone elses fault.. :rolleyes:

RobbingBandit

Len is gonna kick you up the arse all the way to Rome if you don't stop with all the melodramatics. That or the beast will bugger you.

Will I Am Not

I feel like something holds me back in every thing I do. I reach a point where I just can’t improve anymore in anything I take up.

In sport, musical instrument playing, producing, gaming, design, editing... The list goes on. Lots of people regularly tell me they wish they could do this or that, whatever it is I’m doing, but I feel like I’m so far away from where I should be.

Basically, I can do lots of things just grand but still haven’t found anything I really excel at.
In saying that, I’m happy as f*ck with my life at the moment

AllForIt

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Do you think that someone can have experienced so much in life that no matter what happens to them that they have a predetermined path in life that nobody can influence?

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

Yes I do. Directly proportional to what has happened to them in their life.

I really believe life is a game of luck. For example a highly successful person who is highly intelligent born into a middle class family would probably not have enjoyed the same success if they were born into a lower working class family. I've heard of studies that reflect same.

Of course there are exceptions but they don't change the rule.

Capt'n Midnight

“Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.”

― Aristotle, (384–322 BC)
The Jesuits bought into this one bigtime.


Then again, what was the name of that Canadian shrink that deprogrammed a housewife , as completely wiped out most of her life memories, with US military funding ?

jos28

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Do you think that someone can have experienced so much in life that no matter what happens to them that they have a predetermined path in life that nobody can influence?

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

That would be an ecumenical matter

Junkyard Tom

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be.

This 'life-coach' bullshit has its place, I guess, but it's an incredibly limited understanding of human beings and how they are influenced by their environment.

What about soldiers who return with severe PTSD? Do they 'choose' to be broken?

Consider this disturbing footage.

Omackeral

If something is truly BROKEN then you must DELETE it immediately YESSSSSS! WONDERFUL!!!

ArtSmart

Steve wrote: »

Life is hard, you make your own destiny. Unfortunately in this country, wasters expect everything to be handed to them and if it goes wrong it's someone elses fault.. :rolleyes:

But it is everyone elses fault!

Fr_Dougal

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Do you think that someone can have experienced so much in life that no matter what happens to them that they have a predetermined path in life that nobody can influence?

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

This has about 90% to do with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awGctTODPBk

fergus1001

Ride me sideways was another one

donegaLroad

Resilience, and resilience can only come from experience.

Donald Trump

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

“Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.”

― Aristotle, (384–322 BC) Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile, 1926-2011

Fixed that for ya

dr.fuzzenstein

The Fake Sheikh wrote: »

I feel like something holds me back in every thing I do. I reach a point where I just can’t improve anymore in anything I take up.

In sport, musical instrument playing, producing, gaming, design, editing... The list goes on. Lots of people regularly tell me they wish they could do this or that, whatever it is I’m doing, but I feel like I’m so far away from where I should be.

Basically, I can do lots of things just grand but still haven’t found anything I really excel at.
In saying that, I’m happy as f*ck with my life at the moment

I think a lot of it is down to experience, especially jobwise.
You may think you're only doing alright, but then watch a newbie struggle and you realise you're pretty damn good. And you will always get better. You may not realise it because it's a gradual thing, but in a changing world we are always changing and upskilling. You may think you hit a plateau, but that is because if you take up anything new, your skill level expands dramatically in the beginning, but later on it slows down and it is all about routine and working out the finer details.
Of course the will always be someone better, but in the end experience is the most important bit.
As for playing an instrument, I don't have great fine motor skills, I could practice the guitar 10 years and still be sh*t at it.
As for the future, no way is it written. It's all quantum, the trousers of time.

bnt

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

Emphasis added. You are presuming that someone has options available to them, and it's just a matter of choosing between them. What if you have no options?

For example, the way some political parties or economic theorists talk, they think everyone should be an entrepreneur: someone who can spot an economic opportunity, take a gamble with everything they have, and reap the rewards. Except ... what happens if you don't succeed?

If you're a certain Donald J Trump, you never really risked anything in the first place. You started with your daddy's money, and your business dealings were set up with limited liability, so your personal safety was never really at risk. There was no chance that it could all go wrong for you, and you could end up without a roof over your head, dying in the gutter because you tried to do it all yourself. No, you just declare corporate bankruptcy but keep yourself in the lifestyle to which you were accustomed.

Whenever you see someone like Trump, or Elon Musk, remember that they have a support system behind them, and when they talk about taking a risk with everything, it's not really everything. They can take a risk, fail, and not suffer any real personal consequences, and then tell other people they can do it too. :rolleyes:

DEFTLEFTHAND

Many paedos seem to have been abused as kids themselves.

Perverting their sexual development.


They're broken people.


Nurture over nature

DEFTLEFTHAND

Love how Donald Trump pisses off all the losers.

Maybe they should try running the family business, they wouldn't last a New York minute.

dr.fuzzenstein

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Love how Donald Trump pisses off all the losers.

Maybe they should try running the family business, they wouldn't last a New York minute.

Well, it's not that he is a bigoted, racist, sexist, obnoxious piece of sh*t, but the fact that he promised to deliver for the ordinary man and is taking healthcare away from them whilst selling out the future of his country so the top 1% can get a tax cut. And of course that a herd of morons cheer and applaud as he does so.
One can only hope that people wake up to the fact that he is not draining the swamp, but filling it with alligators.
They're not sore losers, they're shouting at the bus driver that he is steering towards the edge of a cliff whilst the rest of the passengers howl, cheer and holler for him to go faster.

mad muffin

I choose the other thing. I choose to be broken.

RobbingBandit

Omackeral wrote: »

If something is truly BROKEN then you must DELETE it immediately YESSSSSS! WONDERFUL!!!

You be careful the fathers gonna have to tell Sister Abigail on you.

HandsomeBob

Omackeral wrote: »

If something is truly BROKEN then you must DELETE it immediately YESSSSSS! WONDERFUL!!!

Wonderful!

Stuff just unfolds. Including what the totality of thoughts, actions, experiences etc. a person ends up having over their whole life turn out to be. Responsibility is "something" people need to take upon themselves, because nobody is in actuality 100% ... the source .. for any of their actions (hard to articulate my thoughts). Different people are different animals with different brains, due to different ages, genetics, life histories etc. and so are not going to be able operate exactly alike (some are more intelligent, or assertive or quick to anger etc.).

So while nobody is absolutely the determiner for their actions or how their life turns out in actuality, we should and we do see it as inherently admirable of people to take responsiblity for themselves, and because we like to be admired it makes sense for us to strive to act responsibly in our lives. But those people who end up not being responsible were always "not going to be responsible" in actuality and so they are just unlucky to be who they are.

Criminal justice systems need to exist to deter all from committing crime, both those with a low propensity to commit crime and those with a high propensity, even though a certain number of people with a high propensity towards committing crime (due to bad luck in general - genes, upbringing, pathological brain injury ..) will slip through the cracks by committing crime in spite of the deterent and getting caught. Without the deterent, even people with a low propensity to commit crime will commit crime so it would be worse. But to keep the system in operation, we must sentence people for their bad behaviour and deny that we know the notion of deservingness of punishment is not as philosophically sound as we might like.

In summary, we're not responsible for how our lives turn out (in the absolute sense some people think) but it is a good thing for it to be a social reality that people are and it is worth striving to attain your goals by taking responsibility for yourself - all else being equal you are more likely to succeed in life than if you don't "take responsiblity" (as much as your physical brain at a given time will allow you to) than if you absolve yourself of the need to take responsibility because philosphically it isn't sound.

server down

tomwaterford wrote: »

I agree!


Life's what yous make of it....if yous have a crappy outlook...you'll have a crappy life

Ack this is ludicrous. How does it explain people who have crappy lives because they are born extremely poverty or in war zones. Load of bollocks.

server down

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Love how Donald Trump pisses off all the losers.

Maybe they should try running the family business, they wouldn't last a New York minute.

I left college with debt and now have considerable savings. That’s a much better return than inheriting millions and making and losing millions. I’m hardly alone either.

NickNickleby

Deleted User wrote: »

This has about 90% to do with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awGctTODPBk

I actually expected those at the front to sit down. How depressing.

Recently saw a gathering of some of Irelands finest. Quite a display of wealth going on, along with the type of conversation designed to alienate the ordinary working Nick. The sense of entitlement was stomach churning.
In the video, I would have been much nearer the back than the front, but still would have sat down.

hmmm, it obviously got to me...

conorhal

Deleted User wrote: »

This has about 90% to do with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awGctTODPBk

I think this guy effectively trashes that simplistic, victim card nonsense...

server down

NickNickleby wrote: »

I actually expected those at the front to sit down. How depressing.

Recently saw a gathering of some of Irelands finest. Quite a display of wealth going on, along with the type of conversation designed to alienate the ordinary working Nick. The sense of entitlement was stomach churning.
In the video, I would have been much nearer the back than the front, but still would have sat down.

hmmm, it obviously got to me...

It’s clever. However it seems to stop at the middle class. Should be take ten steps forward if you hope to inherit millions.

server down

conorhal wrote: »

I think this guy effectively trashes that simplistic, victim card nonsense...

I got half way through it and he literally hadn’t got to the point yet. Also he edited himself every freaking sentence.

conorhal

NickNickleby wrote: »

I actually expected those at the front to sit down. How depressing.

Recently saw a gathering of some of Irelands finest. Quite a display of wealth going on, along with the type of conversation designed to alienate the ordinary working Nick. The sense of entitlement was stomach churning.
In the video, I would have been much nearer the back than the front, but still would have sat down.

hmmm, it obviously got to me...

The eejit literally says that but for the good parenting and choices of your folks these here black kids at the back would have smoked you in a fair race, ignoring the white kid at the back, well I guess he can just get f1!£%'d

Samuel T. Cogley

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures.

I hope that you never go through the hell that changes that misconception; one that many of us hold until we don't.

You can't control the level of neurotransmitters in your noggin.

WHIP IT!

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

Yes. Absolutely.

Well, holds you back if you have a negative outlook... absolutely helps if you have a positive, determined outlook...

server down

conorhal wrote: »

The eejit literally says that but for the good parenting and choices of your folks these here black kids at the back would have smoked you in a fair race, ignoring the white kid at the back, well I guess he can just get f1!£%'d

So because he didn’t point out the white kid at the back the theory is wrong?

NickNickleby

conorhal wrote: »

The eejit literally says that but for the good parenting and choices of your folks these here black kids at the back would have smoked you in a fair race, ignoring the white kid at the back, well I guess he can just get f1!£%'d

Actually, I noticed how he referred to the black guys at the back, despite there also being whites and I think hispanics back there as well. However, I still think the analogy works - moreso because the guys at the front saw no irony in still 'competing' for the 100$ note. I think you're saying that he's feeding into the narrative that to be truly deprived/oppressed one must be black (or female - but that's another matter) and I agree with you on that. And perhaps he's claiming that all things being equal - the blacks would come out on top, on account of whitey can't manage without a leg up.

All that aside, I still think its depressing that these kids up front - just like my worthies in my earlier post - really believe their privilege is a right, and more, its THEIR right. Ugh, its all coming back to me.....

If I've misrepresented what you meant, accept my apologies and perhaps enlighten me.

gw80

server down wrote: »

I got half way through it and he literally hadn’t got to the point yet. Also he edited himself every freaking sentence.

So basically, puts fingers in ears, and then makes negative comment about person with a different opinion to yours, or do you even have an opinion,

server down

gw80 wrote: »

So basically, puts fingers in ears, and then makes negative comment about person with a different opinion to yours, or do you even have an opinion,

Why don’t you actually explain his position. That’s what boards is for. It’s not much of an argument to link to something. Explain what he says and why you think it’s worthwhile.

gw80

server down wrote: »

Why don’t you actually explain his position. That’s what boards is for. It’s not much of an argument to link to something. Explain what he says and why you think it’s worthwhile.

You say, you didn't get the point of what he was saying, I think the point was that there was more than one point to point out were the demonstration fails,
Why mention athletic ability, when blacks have a definite advantage (or would that be a privilege) over whitey in a lot of sports,especially in America.
It really is a pointless exercise, there are too many variables for it to really mean anything

Agricola

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Do you think that someone can have experienced so much in life that no matter what happens to them that they have a predetermined path in life that nobody can influence?

Personally I think nobody is broken unless they choose to be. We own our own success and failures. The most interesting people I've ever met were those who decided to be more.

Tldr: does our Outlook on life hold us back?

I hear you're a self help guru now father. Should we all be into it now? Only the farm takes up most of the day and in the evening I just like a cup of tea. I wouldn't be able to devote myself full time to the old self help.

Vela

I think a lot of people confuse a realistic outlook with a negative outlook. There are a few very good books on the negative effects that positive thinking can actually have on a person - i.e. it can make them think negatively. For example, if you're fixated on improving a part of your body, it's going to have a bad effect on your current body image. Same goes for your job, relationships, etc.

"There’s greatness to be discovered in accepting our lack of greatness, our simplicity and beauty amidst the complex and ugly. And in embracing our problems along with the dirt, muck and grime that essentially accompany life and humanity, we come to live the good life we always yearned for."

Of course, you can decide to be "more". I'd say more people do that at some point.

But most people don't choose to be broken. And "broken" people are no lesser than anyone else. Sometimes, they're just people who have come to peace with the fact that life isn't all roses and fcuking daisies. And sometimes they're the best, kindest type of people - because they have the one thing that matters in this world: empathy.

Some of the most amazing people in my life are those who have experienced the worst kind of **** and come out the other side with a few jagged edges. Actually, they're probably my favourite kind of people. Personally, I've found acceptance to be more freeing than any of this positive mindset bullsh1t. You accept your situation, you change what you can, and you deal with what can't be changed. And then you draw a line under it and you go on living and enjoying your life.