No Life 2017

LegacyUser

I'm really down about my situation. I am a 39 year old man with such a boring like . I work shift 4 days on 4 days off . My days off are so bloody boring. I have no friends and all I have to do is either use the internet play my ps4 or watch TV . I go for a walk around town sometimes but it's such a depressing existence. Would appreciate some advice

milli milli

OP do you have any hobbies or anything you're passionate about? You could join clubs or start evening classes in whatever you're interested in.
There's tonnes of things to do. All types of sport & fitness, drama, crafts, educational subjects, languages, etc, etc.

You could volunteer - check out www.volunteer.ie
Become a scout leader, join a meetup group, travel, cooking classes, make a list of all the things you're interested in and seek out ways to do those things.

There's a website called the Bucket List and you can make a list of all the things you want to do and you can cross them off when you do them. It's a really cool site and you feel so accomplished when you watch your list grow!

Tenigate

4 days off you say? maybe you've travelled a bit and it lost it's appeal.. so this is just an idea.

Do this quiz (dont ask me if it's any good.. first result from Google.) https://www.smartertravel.com/2017/06/19/quiz-european-city/

Then go to ryanair.com and book a flight there in a month's time. Go on TripAdvisor. Plan an itinerary. Learn the cupla focial.

Edit:and if you got venice i think its rigged

AllForIt

I'm in the same situation but I know that it's due to the fact that I had to move home to Ireland because of erm circumstance. Everyday can feel like groundhog day here casue I've feck all to do and Iv'e done the same runs/walks/cycles a million times over. Because my life is such and despite all my family living nearby I'm working on getting a new job/career and getting the hell out of here...so my advice is to move elsewhere, or at least consider it.

zoobizoo

Take up a sport which gets you active and meeting people.

If I had four days off every other week, I'd be heading to the West / North west coast to surf / kayak / windsurf....

Get yourself a hobby.

Wanderer78

Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies op, a near infinite amount of them available. Shift can be a killer, but you d be surprised of the amount of people doing them. My local health club has tons of folks on shifts, health clubs are a nice way to relax and to meet people. What interests do you have, what things would you like to try?

WIZWEB

Check out Meetup.com OP. Sure you'll find something of interest and it's a great way of meeting new people.

Aspadeaspade

It may sound drastic OP, you don't sound like you have any ties or responsibilities, but if you don't. I would seriously consider moving away as another poster suggested. You don't say what your interests are but there is so much out there to see and do. You really should take the bull by the horn and take a chance in life and see what could happen. . there are lots of forums online to help you decide where and what to do there. Good luck.

JigglyMcJabs

Tenigate wrote: »

4 days off you say? maybe you've travelled a bit and it lost it's appeal.. so this is just an idea.

Do this quiz (dont ask me if it's any good.. first result from Google.) https://www.smartertravel.com/2017/06/19/quiz-european-city/

Then go to ryanair.com and book a flight there in a month's time. Go on TripAdvisor. Plan an itinerary. Learn the cupla focial.

Edit:and if you got venice i think its rigged

And stay in a shared dorm in a hostel, you'll meet lots of people and can team up for meals and tours. I've made some good friends that way, they've visited me and I've visited them.

milli milli

zoobizoo wrote: »

Take up a sport which gets you active and meeting people.

If I had four days off every other week, I'd be heading to the West / North west coast to surf / kayak / windsurf....

Get yourself a hobby.

Speaking of surfing. I've gone to a couple of those Surf weekends - one in Bundoran and one in Lahinch. They combine surf lessons (or you can surf yourself if you already know) with some other activity like yoga or SUP or Kayaking. The one in Bundoran has barbecues and you stay in the hostel for the weekend.

December2012

what way would you like to fix it?

LegacyUser

milli milli wrote: »

Speaking of surfing. I've gone to a couple of those Surf weekends - one in Bundoran and one in Lahinch. They combine surf lessons (or you can surf yourself if you already know) with some other activity like yoga or SUP or Kayaking. The one in Bundoran has barbecues and you stay in the hostel for the weekend.

God that sounds like a scout night away . Is sooner spend. Weekend with Jack the Ripper Absolutely woeful idea but an idea all the same

zoobizoo

Gobalino wrote: »

God that sounds like a scout night away . Is sooner spend. Weekend with Jack the Ripper Absolutely woeful idea but an idea all the same

ACtually, it sounds like solo travelling.

You go on your own and meet people who are doing something similar to yourself.

Having travelled the world on my own, I can highly recommend these types of weekend.

Dr Crayfish

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies op, a near infinite amount of them available. Shift can be a killer, but you d be surprised of the amount of people doing them. My local health club has tons of folks on shifts, health clubs are a nice way to relax and to meet people. What interests do you have, what things would you like to try?

I never met anyone in a gym and I've been in and out of various ones for 20 odd years probably, I don't think there's any social aspect to them.
I feel a bit for the OP because a lot of people just don't have any particular interests or hobbies. Most people I know just have work and then go home to their family, and don't have to worry about hobbies etc because they don't really have time for them! I agree he needs to put himself out there for sure, so maybe even trying things once is a start.
Are you depressed OP? Maybe you should speak to someone about that, a counsellor or something.

Addle

Do you live alone OP?
Would you consider sharing?

Moving is quite drastic. Sometimes a small change can have a big result. Do you ever just go out for a coffee/drink?

BetsyEllen

I spent a large part on 2016 feeling exactly like you OP and it's horrible.

I ended up on anti depressants but I don't think I needed them, I was just bored and lonely, not depressed.

The way I got myself out of my crappy situation was by booking a week in Rome (alone), the trip itself was great and I made a couple of friends that I met in the hostel I stayed in. It was also really fun researching all the places I wanted to go and making an itinerary. It gave me the travel bug and I've since visited Edinburgh, Belgium and France.

I joined Meetup.com and started a group on there which got me out of the house and meeting new people. I even got a couple of dates out of it as well.

I rented out my spare room to a lovely girl; the company is nice and the extra cash goes towards trips away.

This year I started volunteering for an animal charity; it fills one day of my weekend, I get to spend my day with animals which I love and the people I work with there with are all very nice.

I'm starting French lessons in January to fill another evening per week.

You just need to have a think and try to come up with something that might interest you. Meetup.com is really great and I still use it a lot now.
My life has gone from only leaving the house to go to work and sometimes not seeing another human being from Friday afternoon to Monday morning, to having to turn down nights out etc as I'm too busy!

Purple Mountain

BetsyEllen wrote: »

I spent a large part on 2016 feeling exactly like you OP and it's horrible.

I ended up on anti depressants but I don't think I needed them, I was just bored and lonely, not depressed.

The way I got myself out of my crappy situation was by booking a week in Rome (alone), the trip itself was great and I made a couple of friends that I met in the hostel I stayed in. It was also really fun researching all the places I wanted to go and making an itinerary. It gave me the travel bug and I've since visited Edinburgh, Belgium and France.

I joined Meetup.com and started a group on there which got me out of the house and meeting new people. I even got a couple of dates out of it as well.

I rented out my spare room to a lovely girl; the company is nice and the extra cash goes towards trips away.

This year I started volunteering for an animal charity; it fills one day of my weekend, I get to spend my day with animals which I love and the people I work with there with are all very nice.

I'm starting French lessons in January to fill another evening per week.

You just need to have a think and try to come up with something that might interest you. Meetup.com is really great and I still use it a lot now.
My life has gone from only leaving the house to go to work and sometimes not seeing another human being from Friday afternoon to Monday morning, to having to turn down nights out etc as I'm too busy!

Good for you!

Airyfairy12

Take up a hobby, start a part time course in something youve an interest in, use your 4 days off to travel around the country a bit.. 4 days a week in a new town or county. Get a pet dog, it'd be a great travel companion too. Theres so much out there to get involved in.

LegacyUser

OP here . Thanks for the replies thus far
Apologies for the late reply. With regards what people have said I can't move away from where I work because the money I'm on is very good . It sounds strange I did go to college for what I do but I just know I wouldn't get the money or holidays I currently get . I also wouldn't consider shared accommodation. I just like my own space and couldn't go back to sharing. I also need to add that I'm quite overweight and self conscience about it which is a big demotivator to to putting.ones self out there on the social world

dellas1979

So why dont you decide to loose the weight?

(be vigilant here in your reply/your thoughts...it will tell you a lot. I mean, will you come up with a list of excuses why you cant loose weight?).

You choose/decide what happens in your life. How you see things. What you do. And how you react and cope.

You could even start with a councellor or life coach (.....more excuses? Be wary!)

bobsman

OP, you have a big plus. You appear to like your work and are well paid. This is a bonus. Why don't you focus on losing the weight? Use it as a "project" for 2018. Please don't let being overweight deter you from joining a gym or taking up some other excercise.

Running clubs are popping up all over the place. My local one has been a lifeline for a lot of people, great social scene usually attached to them

BetsyEllen

Losing the weight would be great for you - I can highly recommend the couch 2 5k programme if you've never run before.
Most people doing it will be complete beginners too.
Most running clubs do it every few months and especially in January.
You start off just walking and buildup each week to jogging for a couple of minutes, increasing the time each session until you can eventually jog a 5k.

If this doesn't sound appealing, walking is great for your health.
You could go onto Meetup.com and set up a group to meet a couple of times a week for a walk with coffee after.

Great ways to meet like minded people and improve your health and confidence at the same time

Where are you based? Some people on here may know of some local groups you might like to try.

LegacyUser

If you have money, hiring a personal trainer would be a great idea. Someone regular for a chat plus losing the weight too.

One thing is certain, nothing will change without you making a change. Nothing will fall into your lap, you need to be deliberate in making changes, otherwise you will be in this exact position again this time next year.

Ursus Horribilis

If you need to lose weight, would you think about joining something like slimming world? It'd be a social thing and help you shed the weight. By all means look into getting fitter but the vast majority of weight loss comes from what you put into your mouth.