Intense relationship, so confused

Melisandre121

I started seeing a guy recently whilst travelling and it became quite intense quite quickly. I struggle with my emotions and this is something I made clear to him when we were first getting to know each other. I explained I’m working on it but sometimes I struggle to be rational. When he sees a pretty girl he stares at her and it hurts, I tell him this but he continues to do it. Tonight it happened again and I became very upset and we had to leave the bar. He said he was sick of me picking at him when he’s doing nothing wrong. He then said it’s gotten too intense and he doesn’t think he wants to continue seeing me. I reminded him of all the lovely things he’d said to me, including he wanted me to be his girlfriend and that he wanted me to meet his family and he said “I don’t want a relationship, and I don’t remember saying any of that to you.” I was devastated. When I started crying he then apologised and said I still want to keep seeing you but I don’t want anything else. I’m so hurt and so confused. Maybe I pushed him away with my intense moods, but his words and behaviour have caused me so much pain. Am I totally in the wrong? I feel so awful

Aspadeaspade

This thing with this guy sounds pretty toxic to be honest OP. You do sound like you are having trouble keeping your feelings in check. It sounds like you are very insecure and need to work on yourself some more before embarking on a relationship. He also doesn't sound like the best candidate to do this with as he later denies what he said. Do try and take what is said to you with a pinch of salt until you get to know someone and then you know if it's just b.s or if their feelings are genuine. You sound very intense OP, and this fella sounds like a proper chancer. You say you are/ were travelling. Why don't you use the opportunity to mature and enjoy yourself in
other ways instead of a head-wrecking situation such as this. Chill out OP.. good luck

Mr. Incognito

I started seeing a guy recently whilst travelling and it became quite intense quite quickly

Yeah you need to get out of this. For whatever reason you two are toxic

Happens.

Find someone who is on your level.

Sephiroth_dude

I would just end it, as the others have said it sounds toxic, at the start of a relationship it should be fun and drama free, this doesn't sound like fun at all.

Emme

He sounds like a head-wrecker. Get rid.

Icepick

OP, work on your low self-esteem. Because that's causing your jealousy.

nikkibikki

He wants to keep seeing you, as in F
friends with benefits situation? Please don't do this, it'll do your self esteem more harm than good.

retro:electro

Emme wrote: »

He sounds like a head-wrecker. Get rid.

He does? It's a recent relationship and he can't even look in the direction of a girl without getting an earful. Waaaay too much for a newbie relationship.
Op you need to work on your confidence. The last thing you want is for him to feel he can't look in any direction out of fear he'll upset you. I dont blame him for wanting to reconsider things.

LegacyUser

Fair enough that the OP could improve her self esteem but I don't think it's appropriate for a guy to be "staring" at other women when on a date... Noticing is one thing but staring is sleazy (again, when on a date).

WIZWEB

OP get away from this drama lama. You're feeling bad because you upset him because you've a problem with him eyeing up other girls! Take a step back and see how insane that reaction to his inappropriate behavior is. Minimize your self worth enough and there will always be someone available to wipe crap all you. It appears that he's minimized you even more now he has found (planned) an excuse to relegate you to a bit on the side status. Run.

miamee

Just once wrote: »

Fair enough that the OP could improve her self esteem but I don't think it's appropriate for a guy to be "staring" at other women when on a date... Noticing is one thing but staring is sleazy (again, when on a date).

Staring is not good, no.
Him saying things like he wants OP to meet his family and to be his girlfriend then denying he ever said it is a huge red flag. You're not totally in the wrong no and it'd be better to steer clear of this guy. If he wants to gawk at other women, let him at it and continue with your travelling without him.