Ex BF stalking

LegacyUser

Hi all ,

looking for some advice, i'll try to keep it as short as possible.

I broke up with my BF of several years almost a year ago, he pursued a friendship situation which i found very difficult to sustain as my reasons for ending the relationship were not trivial, I ended it on the fact that he had lied to me about his past. He has served a lengthy prison sentence for a violent crime. It is important to note that my ex never showed a violent side to me at any stage through out our relationship. However on discovering past of his, our relationship broke down as I found myself unable to trust him and felt our whole relationship had been built on lies.

Fast forward a few months later, after trying to sustain an amicable friends status, I started to realise that I couldn;t move forward and maintain this, I was still upset and angry at his lies and I wanted to break contact in order to move on and gain closure.

Once I started to do this, I saw a whole different side to this person, a nasty streak appeared and I felt quite afraid of the backlash i was receiving upon asking him to back off and give me space to move on with my life.

Things seemed to cool down, until recently when I started to attempt dating again.

It appears that he has been following me ........... and as soon as i started to date, i started to receive multiple calls a day from an unknown number , that would just hang up when i answered.

Anyway, all has been revealed, as i caught him parked close to my house one evening, watching my coming and going, and he started to give me verbal abuse via phone calls also, the final straw was a week ago when he accosted me the morning after a night out , having seen me being dropped home by a male friend, he started to scream at me 'you whore' and now i know your new BFs face i am going to get him..........

I am pretty scared now...... have been thinking about going to the guards ....... but not sure that i would be taken seriously ........

GingerLily

Please go to the Guards, like right now, please put your safety first. You really don't want to chance waiting any longer.

Aspadeaspade

Unfortunately as he has been out of prison for some time he's probably no longer on probation. Do not wait a day longer however, as situations like this is where someone can get hurt or even killed. You are putting both yourself and any person you get involved with in danger. If you believe he might be in possession of a firearm or any weapons also mention this to the the law. Don't wait! Good luck.

nikkibikki

Don't answer unknown numbers. Block him everywhere. Facebook, phone etc. Go to guards.

My ex stalked me after I broke up with him, this was 15/16 years ago. Even tho I changed my phone number IMMEDIATELY, he used to ring my parents house in the middle of the night, even tho I didn't live there. He tracked me down by phone at my college apartment. I wanted my parents to go to the guards but they just said he'll get bored eventually. They moved house to a different county so that phone number got disconnected so that's how it stopped. To this day I am still dubious about answering unknown numbers.

Sardonicat

Go to the guards , now. Keep a record of all instances of harassment and save your call history, messages etc showing the nuisance calls. He's been inside for a violent crime so he's known to the guards already. They will take this seriously. It IS serious.

Best of luck getting this resolved. I've been in a very similar situation and I know how frightening it is.

Tenigate

feeling_scared wrote: »

I am pretty scared now...... have been thinking about going to the guards ....... but not sure that i would be taken seriously ........

You'll be taken more seriously if you have a list of incidents including time and date, and brief description of facts (where he was, what he said)

He might be using a burner phone (unregistered) to make the calls, but try to have a log of dates and times anyway.

Witchie

Defo go to the guards. Even if you don't make a complaint against him as such, get it on record in case it escalates and then you can get their support.

An ex of mine was giving me a hard time and tried to assault me. I did nothing. Then a few weeks later he started to appear everywhere I was so I went to the Gardai and got it on record. They took it very seriously and told me that if he came into the same pub as me to call them and they would remove him. I didn't coz in fairness to the lad he backed off but I do feel safer knowing that if he comes near me, a quick phone call to the local station and he will be removed.

Yours is a more serious situation and you really need them to be on notice that this is happening. Too often people say that the Gardai are slow to react to help people but sometimes their hands are tied somewhat. By having a complaint on record, they will feel they have more reason to step in and sort it out.

Best of luck. x

Virgil°

feeling_scared wrote: »

I am pretty scared now...... have been thinking about going to the guards ....... but not sure that i would be taken seriously ........

Someone reporting another person(who already has a track record of violent behaviour) for threatening violence will absolutely be taken seriously.

OP, go to the guards right this minute if you haven't already. It's not a fair burden for you to carry but any poor lad who comes in contact with you is in danger of being confronted by this thug.

His prison sentence seemingly wasn't long enough and he's clearly not fit to be free in society as he's behaving.

Ill say again, go to the guards immediately. For your own and others sake.

tayto lover

Do not take this lightly OP.
Stalkers are totally unpredictable and highly dangerous.
You wouldn't know what he'd do next.
Report him immediately.
Do not go out alone especially during darkness and keep your doors and windows locked.

Airyfairy12

Go to the guards and report him. Unfortunately they may not do anything, unless he physically harms you or breaks a law theres nothing they can do. We have very lax laws around stalking in this country. Reporting him will have it on record anyway. Id also keep a diary and write down every incident that takes place, phone calls, texts, verbal abuse, following you ect.

Chips180

Go to the guards, keep a record of everything and report it, also report him every time he calls again or anything, they'll take it serious and probably arrest him as he is harassing you and stalking you.

Steviesol

He will never stop. Get in there early with the Guards. Report everything and if needs be apply for a safety order.

Very important piece is , Don't ever acknowledge him, never reply to a text, or talk to him in person or on a phone, regardless of what the situation is. He will move mountains to try and belittle your self esteem.

Best of luck.


Edit - Also make sure you get a pulse reference each from the Gardai each time you report something.