Friend won't move out!!

number19

Hi, I live in my family home in Dublin 6 and my parents have been away for the last few months. About 2 and a half months ago, a friend of mine asked could he move in and stay for a couple of months while he looked for somewhere cheap to rent in the local area. I agreed and just asked him to help pay the bills etc but about a month ago I told him that my parents are coming back so I can't accommodate him anymore when they're home, giving him about a months notice. They are now due back in the next few days but he still won't move out! He keeps saying he needs to stay until he finds what he's looking for. He claims he'd be homeless if I didn't keep on accommodating him yet he has a full time job in a bank, has been offered a room in Tallaght by another friend and is actually from Blanchardstown but he doesn't want to live there. What can I do about this as its really stressing me out?

Lead

Tell him you're calling the guards if he doesnt move out asap. And call them!

lifeandtimes

Unless he has a lease them he is trespassing


Contact the guards and they will remove him

Big Bag of Chips

Wait for your mam to get home and she'll put the run on him!

Do your parents know he has been living there?

SuperSean11

Sounds like a user not a friend. Tell the person that there stuff will be out in the garden in the next 2 days.
I don’t know the person but make sure they don’t steal from you as thanks

TresGats

He is really taking the p*ss here, there are plenty of cheap room rentals all around dublin, and if he has a job in a bank he won't exactly be out on the street. If he tries this suggest AirBnb, it's really not your problem, you have gone far and above your duty as a friend in this circumstance. It's totally disrespectful to you as a friend to abuse your hospitality in such a manner.
I would hatch a plan, Pack his clothes and belongings for him when he is out of the house. Some people are like limpets and need this done for them. When he arrives back try and keep the tone as low as possible, you don't want him kicking off and possibly getting arrested- your parents would find out then!
Don't raise your voice, even if he does. Don't get into whirlygogs with him, just repeat something like "My parents are due home and you have to leave". Don't become responsible for 'helping' him find a new place quickly,he has Daft & Airbnb on his phone i'm sure.. That's his problem. If he refuses to leave, ring the Gardai to have him removed. Good luck with it.

number19

Yes I had ran it by them when he asked and they agreed and wanted to see me help a friend out. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to get that this is my family home and I never agreed to him staying indefinitely and with my parents around. He's made this difficult and I might just have to move his stuff out as people suggest(he brought more stuff into the house than I was happy with btw). Thanks for your replies

SusieBlue

You need to think of it this way - He isn't being a good friend to you now. He has no respect for you, he is taking advantage, and he is banking on you doing nothing about it so he can continue to do so.
At this point your friendship is going to be strained now anyway because he has overstayed his welcome and doesn't seem to give a sh*t.

If he doesn't leave I would also call the guards. He is not your responsibility and it is not your problem that he didn't get himself sorted when he had the chance.

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SuperSean11

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Change the locks when he is out.

Might be theft if you deny him access to his stuff

zoobizoo

That is nuts.....

Tell him you'll call his parents and tell them what he's upto.. .

Should embarrass him enough to get a wriggle on

Failing that, tell him that you'll go onto Facebook and embarrass him on there.

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zoobizoo

What is he plannng to say to your folks when they arrive back?

Toots

I'd give him a deadline ie 48 hours and he's gone. If he's not, wait til he's at work and pack his stuff neatly and leave it in the porch. If he's got a key to the house, you're going to need to change the locks also.

Tenigate

He's not your friend.
Tell him he no longer has access to the house EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, apart from to arrange collection of his stuff within an agreed timeframe.
If he refuses, load his stuff into a car and drive it to his parent's house where it will be safe.

MissShihTzu

Toots wrote: »

I'd give him a deadline ie 48 hours and he's gone. If he's not, wait til he's at work and pack his stuff neatly and leave it in the porch. If he's got a key to the house, you're going to need to change the locks also.

I wouldn't touch his gear and I wouldn't leave it in the porch. Nothing to stop the so-called 'friend' from claiming his gear's been nicked. I really wouldn't put it past him at this stage. This guy is such a leech. I bet he's made no effort to find a place, but would rather mooch.

What I would do is change the locks, so he has to knock to get it. When he comes, tell the guy he has one hour to pack and step! Nothing he can do about it as Boyfriend is only a licensee at best and an unwanted guest at the most.

Is he paying rent/keeps?

number19

He does give me money weekly, I only ask for 50 quid, just enough to pay the bills etc and he has paid it. But I told him with 4 or 5 weeks notice that I couldn't accommodate him when the parents are home and he's very reluctant to move out, saying he'd have to find somewhere else in the local area. I can't understand why he won't take up the friend's offer in Tallaght or just move back to his only family home in Blanchardstown, never met her but I don't think his mother would approve of his behaviour, very unreasonable!

miamee

Perhaps your very generous rate of €50 per week needs to go up to reflect the market value of renting out the room with immediate effect. I'd say he'll move along to your friend's place pretty quickly after that. Don't forget to warn your other friend to lay down the ground rules to him or they'll find it hard to get rid of him too.

leahyl

I actually can't believe some people - the brazeness is just unreal - your family home and he refuses to move out??! I'd be calling the guards immediately; it's not like you're a landlord and you're turfing him out without notice! You gave him sufficient notice and told him that this couldn't continue when your parents returned and he still hasn't organised suitable accommodation - tough!

Toots

number19 wrote: »

He does give me money weekly, I only ask for 50 quid, just enough to pay the bills etc and he has paid it. But I told him with 4 or 5 weeks notice that I couldn't accommodate him when the parents are home and he's very reluctant to move out, saying he'd have to find somewhere else in the local area. I can't understand why he won't take up the friend's offer in Tallaght or just move back to his only family home in Blanchardstown, never met her but I don't think his mother would approve of his behaviour, very unreasonable!

Ah here, he's taking the complete piss. Look, tell him he's got 24/48 hours to get his crap out of your house. If he doesn't do it, do what someone suggested above and bring it to his parents house and change your locks. Boo hoo, he doesn't want to live in Blanchardstown, well he's got an option of accommodation in Tallaght, but being accommodated in your house is no an option any more.

Dial Hard

number19 wrote: »

I told him with 4 or 5 weeks notice that I couldn't accommodate him when the parents are home and he's very reluctant to move out, saying he'd have to find somewhere else in the local area.

As a matter of interest, what does he *actually* think is going to happen when your folks get home? That he'll just tell them "I live here now" and they'll go "Oh, ok, welcome to the family"???

What age are you both, btw?

frag420

Tell him you spoke to your folks and they said he can stay for £1200 per month plus bills!!

Download a basic rent agreement and have him fill it out in front of you, he wont be long leaving then I would imagine!

Sunny Dayz

It's no wonder he doesn't want to leave so if he's only having to hand over €50 a week.

Calypso Realm

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

It's no wonder he doesn't want to leave so if he's only having to hand over €50 a week.

My thoughts exactly. This reminds me of when we were at uni, a house-mates's friend moved in with us on a a temporary basis until he found somewhere else. He had a good full-time job so could have afforded a good rent.

Because he camped out in the living room, he paid a reduced amount. As time went by we noticed he wasn't making much effort to find alternative accommodation. Obviously this became awkward for the rest of us so we wanted him out. He simply didn't want to go, citing the fact he was paying rent as justification for staying! It didn't matter about the rest of us of course having limited use of our living room. Some ppl can be very stingy and he was one of them. He had plenty money to spend on expensive holidays and nights out. In the end he did leave but only because we made him feel so uncomfortable, he'd no choice!

The_Conductor

50 quid a week in D6?
Of course he doesn't want to go!
He'd be mad to!
OP- you're being taken for a complete ride-this is no 'friend'- its a freeloading wastrel who knows they're onto a good thing.

votecounts

I think the OP should change the thread title to FCUKER won't move out because i don't believe any proper friend would this to me. He is just a leech and certainly not a friend

number19

So he found someone else in Rathfarnham that is willing to put him up but only for a couple of weeks and moved out last night(I spent 3 hours helping him move out and he still has stuff in my house!). He said he is unlikely to find somewhere else by the time he moves out of the other guys house so he'll have to come back to mine again. I told him I can't put him up anymore because my parents have to stay here for the next few months, he then started messaging me telling me he'll be homeless if I don't let him come back. I'm not letting him come back and I won't be having anything to do with him any longer, as many of you have said, he's not a proper friend, spoilt brat that has caused me a lot of aggro over the last few weeks when I was only doing him a favour. I told him I'd given him plenty of notice and I'd helped him as much as I could and if he doesn't find anywhere he'll have to move to the other friend's place in Tallaght or move back home, he wasn't too happy.

miamee

Good stuff number19 - I hope you got your key back.

votecounts

Don't beat yourself up as the only true friend is yourself OP, gave him a place to live and look what gratitude you were shown. Personally I'd let him rot on the streets.

Ghekko

number19 wrote: »

So he found someone else in Rathfarnham that is willing to put him up but only for a couple of weeks and moved out last night(I spent 3 hours helping him move out and he still has stuff in my house!). He said he is unlikely to find somewhere else by the time he moves out of the other guys house so he'll have to come back to mine again. I told him I can't put him up anymore because my parents have to stay here for the next few months, he then started messaging me telling me he'll be homeless if I don't let him come back. I'm not letting him come back and I won't be having anything to do with him any longer, as many of you have said, he's not a proper friend, spoilt brat that has caused me a lot of aggro over the last few weeks when I was only doing him a favour. I told him I'd given him plenty of notice and I'd helped him as much as I could and if he doesn't find anywhere he'll have to move to the other friend's place in Tallaght or move back home, he wasn't too happy.

What an ungrateful pr*ck. The cheek to assume he could move back to yours. Make sure he gets the rest of his stuff out and hands back the keys. Though I'd still be inclined to change the locks - buy the relevant barrel and change it yourself. His happiness is not your concern now. You've done more than enough so ignore his threats of homelessness. He's working so he can afford to find a place elsewhere if he doesn't want to move home to his parents. He should have plenty of savings given the pitiful amount he was giving you! Don't engage in any further discussion with him - if he threatens anything else contact his parents to let them know he is pretending to be homeless.

The_Conductor

He is out of your house now, thankfully.
As Douglas Adams put it- he is now a SEP (Someone else's Problem).
Calling him a spoilt brat- doesn't begin to describe him.
You owe him nothing.
Don't let him bully you into imagining you have to take care of him- and get the rest of his stuff out of your home asap, so he no excuse...........

pc7

Wow neck and jockey come to mind, do you think he may have copied the key? Would it be worth changing the locks? I’d be afraid he’s arrive back and give your folks the poor me and sucker them for somewhere to stay. €50 a week sure he was laughing!!!

kylith

number19 wrote: »

So he found someone else in Rathfarnham that is willing to put him up but only for a couple of weeks and moved out last night(I spent 3 hours helping him move out and he still has stuff in my house!). He said he is unlikely to find somewhere else by the time he moves out of the other guys house so he'll have to come back to mine again. I told him I can't put him up anymore because my parents have to stay here for the next few months, he then started messaging me telling me he'll be homeless if I don't let him come back. I'm not letting him come back and I won't be having anything to do with him any longer, as many of you have said, he's not a proper friend, spoilt brat that has caused me a lot of aggro over the last few weeks when I was only doing him a favour. I told him I'd given him plenty of notice and I'd helped him as much as I could and if he doesn't find anywhere he'll have to move to the other friend's place in Tallaght or move back home, he wasn't too happy.

"Tough sh!t Johnny. You've had more than enough time to sort out somewhere permanent"

GreeBo

kylith wrote: »

"Tough sh!t Johnny. You've had more than enough time to sort out somewhere permanent"

Not to mention save for it!

LegacyUser

I don't see why you have to stress about this guy any longer.

Simply ignore his calls and texts unless its to do with him retrieving his things.

When your parents are back, let THEM tell him the house is off limits.

He has offers of other places to stay, he's not desperate. I wish I had parents in blanch offering me a room. If my landlord ups the rent I'm screwed and genuinely wouldn't have his options. He sounds like a man-child used to being looked after

zoobizoo

The only reason why it became "your" problem was because you were giving him a dig out.

Maybe next time just message back with "you are not my responsibility" and leave it at that.

Sephiroth_dude

What an absolute tool......Good on ya for being a good mate though in his time of need, I just don't understand people sometimes.

sReq | uTeK

number19 wrote: »

So he found someone else in Rathfarnham that is willing to put him up but only for a couple of weeks and moved out last night(I spent 3 hours helping him move out and he still has stuff in my house!). He said he is unlikely to find somewhere else by the time he moves out of the other guys house so he'll have to come back to mine again. I told him I can't put him up anymore because my parents have to stay here for the next few months, he then started messaging me telling me he'll be homeless if I don't let him come back. I'm not letting him come back and I won't be having anything to do with him any longer, as many of you have said, he's not a proper friend, spoilt brat that has caused me a lot of aggro over the last few weeks when I was only doing him a favour. I told him I'd given him plenty of notice and I'd helped him as much as I could and if he doesn't find anywhere he'll have to move to the other friend's place in Tallaght or move back home, he wasn't too happy.

I'd still be changing front and back door locks.

Tenigate

number19 wrote: »

He said he is unlikely to find somewhere else by the time he moves out of the other guys house so he'll have to come back to mine again. I told him I can't put him up anymore because my parents have to stay here for the next few months, he then started messaging me telling me he'll be homeless if I don't let him come back.

What a dope that he thinks that's even an option.
I'd nearly be tempted to string him along just to give him a reality check at the last minute.
Like so many homeless, the problem is often the "homeless" person simply found another way to spend their income instead of prioritising a roof over their head. I reckon your friend may be saving for something, either that or is just bad with money.

5rtytry56

Tenigate wrote: »

just bad with money.

^^this will do.

woodchuck

If he keeps bothering you about coming back, tell him IT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE!!! This wasn't your decision to make before and it's not now.

Citygirl1

What a leech!

I wouldn't get involved in stringing him along, mentioning anything about leases etc. Just make it very clear, in no uncertain terms that he will not be staying in your (parents') place again.

As a matter of interest, what is his objection to moving to the place that's available in Tallaght? Does he have some ideas against Tallaght? Or is it simply that he'd actually have to pay rent in that place, as opposed to leeching off you or his other friend in Rathfarnham? :mad:

Calypso Realm

number19 wrote: »

He said he is unlikely to find somewhere else by the time he moves out of the other guys house so he'll have to come back to mine again.

Interesting the way he appears to willing to abide by the time limit set by the other guy, while at the same time ignoring your wishes!

This fellow is something else. If he approaches you again, you could always tell him to ask the other guy if he could extend his stay. Not that it should come to this, if you (as you ought to) cut him off completely!

ManOfMystery

The neck on some people astonishes me.

Now that you can see that he's not really a friend and thus you're no longer invested in any kind of friendship or relationship with him, if he contacts you again I hope you can treat him as you would treat any other randomer who thinks they can move into your house - be telling him to go fellate himself.

inforfun

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

I'd still be changing front and back door locks.

And phone number.

number19

Citygirl1 wrote: »

What a leech!

I wouldn't get involved in stringing him along, mentioning anything about leases etc. Just make it very clear, in no uncertain terms that he will not be staying in your (parents') place again.

As a matter of interest, what is his objection to moving to the place that's available in Tallaght? Does he have some ideas against Tallaght? Or is it simply that he'd actually have to pay rent in that place, as opposed to leeching off you or his other friend in Rathfarnham? :mad:

He is paying €100+ a week for the short stay he has in Rathfarnham so no wonder he is keen to come back to mine. His reasons for not accepting the offer in Tallaght(again would have been €100+ a week) were ridiculous, something to do with it being too far to cycle to his job, when I suggested he just got the bus he wasn't too happy. The guy in Tallaght is actually a friend of mine so it was a bit of a dilemma for me, should I warn my friend or not? As it turned out, your man went out to Tallaght last night and talked to him about finally taking up his offer but then he bitched about what happened with me and my friend fobbed him off with an excuse, he told me he didn't want to invite that into his home(he knew I was only putting your man up and of course that his Tallaght offer was made weeks ago), don't blame him! I guess he is going to have to move back home to Blanch for the time being if he still can't find anywhere else, I certainly won't be putting myself out for him anymore!! The only thing is I still have to arrange with him to collect the rest of his stuff in my house, he also didn't pay for this last week and has to square up on bills(he was heavy on utilities!). Not sure if I should chase that though, just want his stuff out of my house and to not have anything to do with him anymore

biZrb

So he could have had that place in Tallaght if he wasn't bad mouthing you so much, he's made himself a rod for his own back so. Seems like your friend doesn't want him to stay with him anyway, rightly so.
Also, he can move back home to Blanch? Well he's not going to be bloody homeless then is he?

Op, be glad you've got rid of this leech from your life. You can tell him he'd not getting his stuff back until he pays you what he owes. Make sure you change the locks so he doesn't come back to retrieve his things when you are out.

Scraggs

If I were you I would arrange to meet him with his stuff away from the house in case he uses it as an opportunity to weasel his way back in. I'd also strongly reconsider this friendship with him, he's shown his true colours and is unlikely to change.

Calypso Realm

Agree completely with above. Actually, I'm wondering what happened in the last place he stayed? (I guess we have enough info at this point to predict a likely outcome!)

Emme

What a user! You're lucky he's gone (for now). If he wants to move back again tell him that your parents have arranged for a friend of the family to stay in the house while they are away.

I would strongly advise you to get the locks changed when your parents come back the way yer man can't weasel his way in some night. I wouldn't put it past him.

MissShihTzu

Emme wrote: »

What a user! You're lucky he's gone (for now). If he wants to move back again tell him that your parents have arranged for a friend of the family to stay in the house while they are away.

I would strongly advise you to get the locks changed when your parents come back the way yer man can't weasel his way in some night. I wouldn't put it past him.

The bolded part, I cannot agree with. Why can't you just tell this ponce HE'S NOT COMING BACK!!!! I would not care if he had to sleep on O'Connell St - He's not coming back. You do not have to give a reason. It's not his house. He pays no rent. He pays no mortgage. He pays no bills. Tell him to Foxtrot Oscar!

Looks as though your other friends have him booked right off.

Get the locks changed before your Mum and Dad get back and block that mug from your phone. Cut him out like a coupon. He's no friend of yours. He's a ******* parasite!