What is acceptable 'partner staying over' time in an apartment share?

Always Be Closing

Hi guys

As it says on the tin, say in a 2 bedroom, 2 person share, how many nights a week is the other persons partner staying over deemed as acceptable without wanting to take the piss?

Thanks

stateofflux

it depends on what all parties find agreeable. but without the guest contributing to rent and bills then 2 - 3 nights max usually.

Ash.J.Williams

It really depends on how much action you're getting yourself.

eagle eye

Totally dependent on the people involved. If the other person doesn't mind then it can be every night but if it bothers the other person then just have a chat about how it's uncomfortable.

Always Be Closing

Other person is a gay male, I am a heterosexual male

I suppose I won't know until I ask him I guess!

Ash.J.Williams

Always Be Closing wrote: »

Other person is a gay male, I am a heterosexual male

I suppose I won't know until I ask him I guess!

That's not really supposed to matter though

PhoenixParker

In general 2 nights a week on average, and generally not both weekend nights. It can be more the odd week so long as it's balanced by less/none in other weeks.

Being gone yourself regularly helps counter balance it too.

Always Be Closing

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

That's not really supposed to matter though

That's true

Teyla Emmagan

2 is loads i think

Spanish Eyes

How many nights would you stay with your partner in his/her abode.

How does that work out for you and partner's circumstances?

Just looking at it from the other side.

DivingDuck

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

2 is loads i think

Agreed. I wouldn't be happy with a third party in the apartment for 30% of the time I'm paying 50% of the rent for.

Scraggs

Depends on the couple imo. I've lived with people who had partners that I didn't even notice were staying regularly and in other cases I've had them hogging the sitting room and kitchen at peak times with no consideration for other housemates.

ArthurG

Sounds like you should have discussed it before moving in

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=105446516

Wheety

Always Be Closing wrote: »

Other person is a gay male, I am a heterosexual male

I suppose I won't know until I ask him I guess!

How many nights a week do you want your gf over?

Always Be Closing

Well she's ridiculously shy and quiet, will not leave my room by herself, and we have an ensuite so she won't be in the front room watching tv or anything like that

Ash.J.Williams

Always Be Closing wrote: »

Well she's ridiculously shy and quiet, will not leave my room by herself, and we have an ensuite so she won't be in the front room watching tv or anything like that

is she "loud"?

Always Be Closing

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

is she "loud"?

Yup

ED E

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

is she "loud"?

Theres "kit" for that.

Lumen

ED E wrote: »

Theres "kit" for that.

This?

https://www.designboom.com/technology/hochu-rayu-helmfon-ukraine-06-30-2017/

Pithythefool

The housemate will agree and say its no problem, but will be immediately apprehensive secretly.

Basically, any thing like that starts a timer that counts down to someone moving out. How long, is the only question.

Encountered it lots of times.

jimmycrackcorm

Ash.J.Williams wrote:

It really depends on how much action you're getting yourself.

I think a good proportion of house sharers are not being any action otherwise they be renting with their Oh.

Explains why there are so many threads about this.

Always Be Closing

I'll sit down with him tonight and discuss it. He's a nice guy and I don't want to rock the boat

judeboy101

Use the old "if I ain't getting any, you ain't getting any" argument. Might get an interesting offer.

Mister Vain

I've often wondered about this too. Also, what's the acceptable noise level while shagging? Do you have to cover each others mouths when climaxing?

Always Be Closing

Mister Vain wrote: »

I've often wondered about this too. Also, what's the acceptable noise level while shagging? Do you have to cover each others mouths when climaxing?

I would have thought people sharing, when they could, would wait until the person they're sharing with is out to do this? That's the way I plan on playing it anyways

GiftofGab

I shared an apartment and one chap has girlfriend over 5 nights a week. They stayed in their room, didn't use up bills such as heating, rarely used kitchen and were always clean and kept the noise down. So that didn't bother me at all.

Shared with another guy who was the complete opposite and that infuriated me. He had his girlfriend over all the time. They were drinking in the sitting room, bills sky rocketed, loud, dirty and generally disrespectful.

So for me I don't care if they're option 1.

judeboy101

Mister Vain wrote: »

I've often wondered about this too. Also, what's the acceptable noise level while shagging? Do you have to cover each others mouths when climaxing?

There's a fetish for that sort of thing

Funny how?

Friends missus wanted to move in after been over the whole time.Said to friend onc she contributes to bills it's fine. She was great craic and got on really well with her so didn't mind in the slightest. Could chat with away with her.

Another houseshare I was in with someone I knew was unbearable. Knew the person but wouldn't really consider them a friend. Every Friday asking me what my plans for the weekend were etc so he could have the house with the girlfriend. Other house mates worked in bars so out late every Friday and Saturday. Missus was over every Friday Saturday and Sunday. When I was in the sitting room with them they wouldn't speak or if I tried to talk they would mutter a word back. They tried to make it as uncomfortable as possible, even asking me are you heading out? They eventually just went up to their room and watched stuff on a tablet. This went on for around two months but Fuk them I stood my ground. Most ignorant woman I ever came across. Forgot to mention if I said I was going out they would chat away.

eimsRV

I shared with a friend a few years back, 2 bed, just the 2 of us. Anyway her bf started staying most nights, no contribution to rent or bills. But it really became an issue when the friend was working nights - he'd still stay and in the morning I'd have to wait to use shower/bathroom. We didnt stay housemates for long after that as she thought i was being unreasonable when I tried to speak to her about it

Always Be Closing

Thank god for ensuite otherwise some of the situations mentioned could have been FAR worse