Moving Out At 17

that_one_kid

Simply what the title says.

Always been having a rocky relationship with mother, parents are divorced, the usual messy situation. But lately (since summer) things kinda just keep getting worse, and I am beyond fed up with it. We just don't see eye to eye in regards to anything whatsoever, and I'm sick of trying to fix things. I'm tired.

So, I was wondering what my options are.
I turn 18 this March, and I'm finding it very tough to find a job that actually accommodates around my school schedule (on the days I'm able to work, which are Wednesdays and weekends). I'm not sure about apprenticeships as I've never been really good at manual work, but I'd be willing to try.

I'm not worried about high grades. I'm doing okay, and that's all I need, as I'm not going to college next year. So I guess I'm just wondering what I can do in the meantime.

Eric Cartman

I left at 17 to go live on a mates couch. I got my own place with some friends at 18. I would say to you - finish out the school year - theres 6 months left, its nothing in the scheme of your life (assuming you're in 6th year) , just do the leaving cert, bit of study and even just have it (regardless of points, even if you don't care do it anyway as it'll be a stumbling block for employers if you don't have it.

After that theres tonnes of apprenticeships opening at the moment for electricians, mechanics, plumbers etc... loads of PLC / evening courses that can be done.

Come the 20th of June or whenever your leaving finishes you'll have all the time to get a full time job. probably something not great like being in a shop at first over the summer to get you started on the job ladder but apply away to anything else after (its easier to get a job when you already have one)

Also a piece of slightly further advice. Learn how to drive. Even if you don't own a car, get a provisional and do some lessons. There are so many jobs paying way over the odds for staff who can drive at the moment, especially in apprenticeships.

silverharp

^^

what he said, dont try to fix anything , between school and study you dont have to under your mother's foot all the time. learn and do your own cooking and do your own washing, good practice for later. if you can get some kind of pt job great, it will give you a chance to get a deposit etc together.

pc7

Finish your leaving, don’t give up so close to end. If you can just stay at home, work and save to get out. Not sure where you are in the country but if somewhere like Dublin it’s hard get decent accommodation even in a house share. You will have bills, expenses etc on what will likely be minimum wage. Would be good to get a nest egg together at home first. As bad as it is I’m sure you’re warm, fed and don’t have expenses.

that_one_kid

pc7 wrote: »

Finish your leaving, don’t give up so close to end. If you can just stay at home, work and save to get out. Not sure where you are in the country but if somewhere like Dublin it’s hard get decent accommodation even in a house share. You will have bills, expenses etc on what will likely be minimum wage. Would be good to get a nest egg together at home first. As bad as it is I’m sure you’re warm, fed and don’t have expenses.

That's the problem.
I'd love to work, but I can't find a place that will have me with this schedule I have now.
Everyone wants to work weekends and afternoons, so why would they give away that position to a guy with no experience instead of someone with experience?
Very tough to find a job.

that_one_kid

Eric Cartman wrote: »

I left at 17 to go live on a mates couch. I got my own place with some friends at 18. I would say to you - finish out the school year - theres 6 months left, its nothing in the scheme of your life (assuming you're in 6th year) , just do the leaving cert, bit of study and even just have it (regardless of points, even if you don't care do it anyway as it'll be a stumbling block for employers if you don't have it.

After that theres tonnes of apprenticeships opening at the moment for electricians, mechanics, plumbers etc... loads of PLC / evening courses that can be done.

Come the 20th of June or whenever your leaving finishes you'll have all the time to get a full time job. probably something not great like being in a shop at first over the summer to get you started on the job ladder but apply away to anything else after (its easier to get a job when you already have one)

Also a piece of slightly further advice. Learn how to drive. Even if you don't own a car, get a provisional and do some lessons. There are so many jobs paying way over the odds for staff who can drive at the moment, especially in apprenticeships.

I understand where you're coming from.
The thing is, I've been wanting to move out since I was 13, and my desire to do so has grown stronger each year. I feel like I'm literally at wits' end.

I'd love to work, even part time. That isn't a problem - I'm down to work, and even put in some extra hours. I can manage myself - cook, wash, find my way around.

I'm not saying that I won't finish my LC - just that being home is really not the optimal place to do so.

The driver's license point ties into my other reply - no job = no money for car or license.

Eric Cartman

that_one_kid wrote: »

That's the problem.
I'd love to work, but I can't find a place that will have me with this schedule I have now.
Everyone wants to work weekends and afternoons, so why would they give away that position to a guy with no experience instead of someone with experience?
Very tough to find a job.

that_one_kid wrote: »

I understand where you're coming from.
The thing is, I've been wanting to move out since I was 13, and my desire to do so has grown stronger each year. I feel like I'm literally at wits' end.

I'd love to work, even part time. That isn't a problem - I'm down to work, and even put in some extra hours. I can manage myself - cook, wash, find my way around.

I'm not saying that I won't finish my LC - just that being home is really not the optimal place to do so.

The driver's license point ties into my other reply - no job = no money for car or license.

1) theres a lot of places won't even hire under 18 for insurance reasons / sale of alcohol / training.
2) theres a lot of places that won't hire somebody without a leaving cert.
3) Most landlords will not rent to a 17 year old, I only got out because I had a couch to go to.

Lad , the stress of moving out, getting deposit, rent, being on your own for the first time, everyone takes the freedom too frivolously and goes a bit mad for a while (which is great, but not for studying time) and working evenings will cut into that time, working weekends will tire you out.

It doesn't seem ideal, and theres a lot of people who were home longer than I was who will give you advice here that may not understand the desire to leave, believe me I know how much you want to leave , because I did just the same. But 100% I know myself that leaving with the LC ahead would have completely thrown me away from that and I wouldn't have gotten a tap done.

I'd recommend for you to finish out your LC, the second thats over hit up a college town (no idea where you are in the country) but maynooth, around UL, UCC all have cheap student houses during the summer as they're gone home and a lot of unskilled work that students normally do, you'll need 6-800 quid for your first months rent and deposit and an additional 50-100 to feed yourself and buy bedclothes and basics. Secure a job in a shop or some such and move out, you'll have the whole summer working and able to pay your rent, try and save some cash and 3 months down the line you'll be flying. keep working away till you're 18 and start applying for some jobs slightly up the scale.

December2012

Could you go stay with your Dad?

I know you’re saying no college, but maybe you could keep up the grades and apply for a college course away from home?

that_one_kid

December2012 wrote: »

Could you go stay with your Dad?

I know you’re saying no college, but maybe you could keep up the grades and apply for a college course away from home?

Unfortunately it's not a possibility.

And about college, I just hate school. I hate what's being taught, studying, assignments and such. I want this year to be the year I'm done with that for the rest of my life.

So I guess, the next step would be to find a job that actually does hire 17 year olds. Even if I stay here a bit longer, I could get some money saved up...

pc7

that_one_kid wrote: »

So I guess, the next step would be to find a job that actually does hire 17 year olds. Even if I stay here a bit longer, I could get some money saved up...

Could you look at apprenticeships (if they are still around)? While money isn't great at least you could have a skill/trade you could travel/work the world with. Especially if College/study isn't your thing at the minute, otherwise you are looking at minimum wage jobs going forward in most cases which will always have you on the breadline. Or somewhere like McDonals, I 'think' they still have an education/management stream. While being at home sucks right now honestly its better than the streets or stressing over paying rent (well hopefully). Could you talk to a counsellor in school?

Sunny Dayz

Have you a relative nearby that you could live with, an aunt, a cousin or a granny? Leaving Cert year can be a stressful enough year, having a warm house and food in the presses is one less thing for you to worry about.


I know you've said you don't want to go to college - but have you any idea what you would like to work at? If you want to go straight into the workforce after school having no previous work experience, you will need to do a bit more to convince someone to give you a job. They may not want to hire a young lad who doesn't really know what he wants, to them it could mean that you could leave them in a week or a month. They want someone with a good head on their young shoulders, an interest in that industry or line of work and wanting to advance themselves and stick around.

Eric Cartman

pc7 wrote: »

Could you look at apprenticeships (if they are still around)? While money isn't great at least you could have a skill/trade you could travel/work the world with. Especially if College/study isn't your thing at the minute, otherwise you are looking at minimum wage jobs going forward in most cases which will always have you on the breadline. Or somewhere like McDonals, I 'think' they still have an education/management stream. While being at home sucks right now honestly its better than the streets or stressing over paying rent (well hopefully). Could you talk to a counsellor in school?

no idea what you're on about there. Apprentice electricians get paid while learning , pretty much come out the other side of the course with a guaranteed job from their sponsor and after 5 years working you can easily go out on your own. I know a fair few electricians who would easily be clearing 75k+ a year and if you start your own company with a few lads working for you and get office fitout / commercial work you'd easily clear 150-200k a year with some business smarts. I wish they told me about apprenticeships when I left school. I would have been all over that.

justfillmein

maybe when you do get a job things with get a bit more bareable with your mam because you will be out working and not around each other as much.?
it really isn't easy being out on your own.

i was out at about 19 living with someone for a while, didn't particularly like it.

moved to a shared house and loved all the people living in it but after a while it just wasnt 'home' enough for me.

got my first apartment on my own, and went WILD! i dont know how i'm alive after the carry on of me.

it felt great to leave home and i would never ever go back to that house even if i was homeless. not for any serious reasons, i just have standards compared to the hillbillies i came from;)
i'm settled now years, but it has been very hard to get to were i am now. worth it, but hard.

really you wont get very far without a secure job first..
good luck with everything i hope it all works out for you:)

pc7

Eric Cartman wrote: »

no idea what you're on about there. Apprentice electricians get paid while learning , pretty much come out the other side of the course with a guaranteed job from their sponsor and after 5 years working you can easily go out on your own. I know a fair few electricians who would easily be clearing 75k+ a year and if you start your own company with a few lads working for you and get office fitout / commercial work you'd easily clear 150-200k a year with some business smarts. I wish they told me about apprenticeships when I left school. I would have been all over that.

I mean money isn’t great at the start of apprenticeship (as I said they could then travel world with one) and avoid minimum paid jobs for life.

Soulsun

Eric Cartman wrote: »

no idea what you're on about there. Apprentice electricians get paid while learning , pretty much come out the other side of the course with a guaranteed job from their sponsor and after 5 years working you can easily go out on your own. I know a fair few electricians who would easily be clearing 75k+ a year and if you start your own company with a few lads working for you and get office fitout / commercial work you'd easily clear 150-200k a year with some business smarts. I wish they told me about apprenticeships when I left school. I would have been all over that.

Young man rest assured you don't easily clear 150-200k
Nothing comes easy to be fair.
I'd agree with previous poster try your very best to sit leaving.

that_one_kid

justfillmein wrote: »

maybe when you do get a job things with get a bit more bareable with your mam because you will be out working and not around each other as much.?
it really isn't easy being out on your own.

i was out at about 19 living with someone for a while, didn't particularly like it.

moved to a shared house and loved all the people living in it but after a while it just wasnt 'home' enough for me.

got my first apartment on my own, and went WILD! i dont know how i'm alive after the carry on of me.

it felt great to leave home and i would never ever go back to that house even if i was homeless. not for any serious reasons, i just have standards compared to the hillbillies i came from;)
i'm settled now years, but it has been very hard to get to were i am now. worth it, but hard.

really you wont get very far without a secure job first..
good luck with everything i hope it all works out for you:)

Yeah, no.
I'm not gonna spend my life running from my mom, or dread going home after a long day at work.

I know it isn't easy, but I'll manage. I'm determined to make it work.

Appreciate the good wishes.

that_one_kid

pc7 wrote: »

I mean money isn’t great at the start of apprenticeship (as I said they could then travel world with one) and avoid minimum paid jobs for life.

Minimum paid, as in minimum wage?

I'm only gonna work minimum wage straight out of school.

shesty

Problem is with no LC you may get a minimum wage job....amd that's it.With no other prospect of that improving.Ever.And as much as you hate your current siruation, at least you have options-if you move out and have to give up on education, your options reduce to almost nothing.
Are you in sixth year?if so...hang on.Just hang on.Get through it, it is truly a very small amount of time.And then go for it next year.
17 is a whole year long.There's a lot that can happen in that time.

that_one_kid

shesty wrote: »

Problem is with no LC you may get a minimum wage job....amd that's it.With no other prospect of that improving.Ever.And as much as you hate your current siruation, at least you have options-if you move out and have to give up on education, your options reduce to almost nothing.
Are you in sixth year?if so...hang on.Just hang on.Get through it, it is truly a very small amount of time.And then go for it next year.
17 is a whole year long.There's a lot that can happen in that time.

That's fine, since I DO intend to do my Leaving.