Depression/Anxiety Does it ever get better

LeaseG

Hey, not sure if this is the right place to post as I dont use boards too often but here goes anyway

Basically came here for some positive stories about people's recovery from severe depression and anxiety, all I can find is stories that are negative or give me little to no hope of a full recovery.

I first developed issues with Anxiety 2 years ago when seemingly out of the blue I started having Panic attacks, they were coming numerous times a day and I was diagnosed with Panic disorder. Along with the attacks there was some level of Depression but my main issue was Anxiety. I developed Agoraphobia and I was scared to leave the house, I left college, I stayed in bed for days on end just wishing I would die and be at peace from it all.

After visiting the GP, i was referred to counselling in the form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and it helped me to conquer my Panic disorder after having it for nearly a year. I had been doing well for a month or two after stopping the Panic attacks but never really went back to being my carefree old self. I still struggle daily with general Anxiety and my depression only seems to be getting worse.

I am a young mother, I have a boyfriend, great friends, a job, a big family yet most of the time I feel so lonely and like they dont understand at all as they havnt experienced the pain that I experience every single day inside my head. I wake up every morning wishing I could have just stayed asleep. I feel like life is pointless and boring and dull and hard work more than anything and like it will never be better and things will always be this way for me. I am scared to die but I know I cant live like this for the rest of my life, I have lost hope and I really am scared that some day something will push me over the edge and Il just decide Ive had enough, I am totally exhausted from battling with anxiety and depression I have no motivation to even help myself anymore or do anything that might help me feel better I just go about the same routine everyday like a robot and pretend to everyone im fine because i feel like they just do not understand what I am going through.

Does anyone out there have any advice or positive story on coming out of Depression and enjoying life again?

Jenneke87

Are you currently still in therapy? It sounds like the therapy you've had so far has taken the edge of things but there's still room for improvement. If you're not currently attending I think going back would be a good idea. Do you have medication, if not, is that something that you're willing to try? It might give you the relieve you need for a while..
I've never dealt with anxiety myself but have had depression. It was a mild to moderate depression and there's good and bad news: the good news is that you can beat it but the bad news is that once you've had it you'll always be sensitive to it and it may come back. So in that sense I don't think you can be fully " cured" without it ever coming back but you can learn how to manage it and to keep an eye out for signs that it's getting worse so you can catch yourself before you fall.
I'm sorry that you feel this bad. Does your partner know exactly how bad it is and how you're feeling? If not, I would advise you to have a chat and honestly tell him what's going on. there's nothing that people can do for you if you don't open up to them, scary as that may be. 
I would advise you to go back to your GP so he can refer you to a specialist so you can get the help you need and deserve.  It is certainly possible to enjoy life again after a depression and I hope things will get better for you soon.
All the best.

LeaseG

I stopped therapy after I stopped having panic attacks but I have been planning on going back for ages and literally dont havnt had the motivation to make the appointment but I will be making it soon as I cannot put it off much longer. I have never tried medication for 2 main reasons; i am scared to try medication because I know if it dosnt work for me and make me feel somewhat like my old self ill lose all hope, its nearly in a way like I feel if i try it and fail, im going to feel like giving up and the other reason is ive read so many horror stories about medication making people worse and have suicidal thoughts im terrified that would happen. It is always an option and I will give it a try in the future if all other options fail.

Yea my partner knows about my struggles, I have told him all about it, he sympathises but Im not sure he can understand how bad it really is as he has never experienced anything like it.

Thanks for your reply and ur advice I really appreciate it 😀

Tell me how

LeaseG wrote: »

I wake up every morning wishing I could have just stayed asleep. I feel like life is pointless and boring and dull and hard work more than anything and like it will never be better and things will always be this way for me. I am scared to die but I know I cant live like this for the rest of my life, I have lost hope and I really am scared that some day something will push me over the edge and Il just decide Ive had enough, I am totally exhausted from battling with anxiety and depression I have no motivation to even help myself anymore or do anything that might help me feel better I just go about the same routine everyday like a robot and pretend to everyone im fine because i feel like they just do not understand what I am going through.

Does anyone out there have any advice or positive story on coming out of Depression and enjoying life again?

HI LeaseG.
Just for your information, there is a thread on Boards, specifically for Anxiety and Depression. It's a place where people offload, receive empathy and hear some stories which they can relate to. You may have already seen it but if not, here is the link.

Anxiety and Depresssion thread on Boards

There are some other threads also but I have experience of the one above.

Yes Depression can absolutely get better. In some cases it can take time, it can take trying several different things and in many cases, people finally get better without knowing specifically what it was that allowed them to do so.

I felt as you described above for a very long time. I have been treated with medication, talk therapy, group therapy and as an inpatient. I lost years to it but thankfully now feel I am at the right side of the struggle to beat it.

I still am aware that I "have" depression purely to acknowledge it and to allow me to recognize when my form is dropping but I am off medication, see my therapist infrequently and am living a life that some years ago, I thought was completely impossible. There is still room to improve but everyday I recognize things which I enjoy that for years were hidden from me.

Speak to your GP, start a care plan, be kind to yourself and do not put yourself under any pressure that you shouldn't feel this way or should get better quickly. Hopefully you will see improvement quickly but if you don't just keep trying. You've already started the journey by reaching out for guidance. You will get there.

LegacyUser

Lease

Read up on mindulness and meditation, and develop in practice. Buddhist Philosophy and teachings helped me through my depression like nothing else. It gave me the knowledge and awareness to understand myself and my own pain, and what was causing me to suffer. Also, look into ayahuasca ceremony for healing. There is hope love

Bigbagofcans

+ on Mindfulness and Meditation. I have been practicing for the past year and it has helped me overcome my depression.
Also regular exercise has helped me keep my focus and makes me feel great.

I am now a big believer in people helping themselves through their depression. Of course, for many people they need professional help and the help of others.
But for me, Mindfulness has been my saviour and through daily practice I am living the life now I never thought I would have.

bluelamp

There's always going to be more negative stories out there, people who have recovered from their anxiety / depression will no longer be posting about it online in most cases. I'll share my experience with you, it might give you some encouragement.

I struggled with anxiety for a long time, to the point of having multiple panic attacks a day, feeling like life wasn't real, and thinking I'd gone completely crazy.

I remember looking at people on the bus etc with obvious mental illnesses, and I was fully convinced that was going to be me. I was sleeping so little that I was forgetting things like the pin code for my phone, my age, etc. It was terrible. Life was one big haze.

I had reached a very low point, so medication was the only realistic option at the time - considering I couldn't even go to the supermarket or drive my car without freaking out. My doctor was thinking hospitalisation could be necessary.

After about a month on the medication I started feeling better very very slowly but surely. I was just happy to be able to go to the shop, and drive my car a bit again etc. Baby steps are still progress.

I then met with a CBT therapist and thought it was a waste of time. I gave up on that and gave it another shot with a different therapist. Turns out I just didn't click with the first person, this time round it was fantastic. Completely changed my frame of mind. Highly recommend CBT.

I remember after a few months work with her, I felt a panic attack starting. I was lying in bed at the time - and I just said in my head "bring it on" I felt ready to fight it. I even started hyperventilating on purpose just to try make it worse. I got the tingling hands, the tight chest, the tunnel vision, the light headed feeling. But the difference was, I didn't care anymore. It didn't scare me. It passed, and it did nothing bad to me. That was my last full blown panic attack.

After about a year with the CBT, and the medication, everything was feeling "brighter." I finally had the energy and motivation to start improving my life in other ways. I was so happy to feel any sort of emotion again. I worked on my diet (which wasnt great before), to the point that I was cooking healthy food everyday. Our mammies were right; "you're just not eating enough Fruit" lol. The improved diet led to a good increase in energy. That led to me starting to excercise.

I continued my "new" way of life, eating right, exercising, socialising, CBT, and just trying to see the good in life. After a while this all became habit. I also started mindfulness meditation.

I decided to start phasing out the medication (with assistance from my doctor and therapist obviously). I started reducing the dose over a few months.

I've been around 3 years off the medication now.

There were some bumps along the way of course, especially while weaning of the medication, and it was a huge amount of work. But I can't imagine what would have happened if I didn't get the help I did.

The medication had side effects (none lasted after coming off it), but if it's needed it's needed. I was determined that I wouldn't be staying on it long term - I always considered it like a crutch when you have a broken leg. It helped me hop along for a while until I could walk again unaided.

I get the odd blip of anxiousness now and again - but I just don't care about it anymore. It's not significant to me. And I now know, it's perfectly normal.

Sorry for the long winded post. Best of luck OP. Don't put it off, now's the time to start working on it. Go live your life