I am terribly secretive

shalena

I am an extremely secretive person and I don't know why. I need ideas on how i could be like this.
I am 25 living at home with my parents and 4 siblings. I trust no body and tell nobody anything. I have a boyfriend who I tell things too but I am still guarded with him, I tell me friends absolutely nothing either . I am making a drastic career change next year and have told no1 about it only my boyfriend. And I warn him to not tell anyone. I attend classes every morning to prepare for this change and when my mother asks me where I am going I lie to her every time. I don't want people knowing incase i fail to achieve it and then I look silly. I have braces on the back of my teeth so no1 would see them and if anyone gets a glimpse and asks me if I have braces, I deny it point blank. My family have no clue I've got them and I've had them on for a year. I wanted the secret ones no surprises there. I have a lock on my phone and not even my boyfriend is allowed into it and I have nothing to hide. Am I very secretive or is this normal? I bought my boyfriends mother a customised magnet of her dog which took me 4 hours to make on the computer and for some reason I did not want to tell him I done this. Maybe incase i would feel stupid? I don't know? It is only these things really but I am very secretive with my family. I am worried incase people will judge me about the career change especially my family who will say it's silly to spend 4 years doing something in college and then going doing something completely different. I don't know what's wrong with me, I am not a paranoid schizophrenic if that's what some will suggest.

Fuzzy Clam

shalena wrote: »

I am an extremely secretive person and I don't know why. I need ideas on how i could be like this.
I am 25 living at home with my parents and 4 siblings. I trust no body and tell nobody anything. I have a boyfriend who I tell things too but I am still guarded with him, I tell me friends absolutely nothing either . I am making a drastic career change next year and have told no1 about it only my boyfriend. And I warn him to not tell anyone. I attend classes every morning to prepare for this change and when my mother asks me where I am going I lie to her every time. I don't want people knowing incase i fail to achieve it and then I look silly. I have braces on the back of my teeth so no1 would see them and if anyone gets a glimpse and asks me if I have braces, I deny it point blank. My family have no clue I've got them and I've had them on for a year. I wanted the secret ones no surprises there. I have a lock on my phone and not even my boyfriend is allowed into it and I have nothing to hide. Am I very secretive or is this normal? I bought my boyfriends mother a customised magnet of her dog which took me 4 hours to make on the computer and for some reason I did not want to tell him I done this. Maybe incase i would feel stupid? I don't know? It is only these things really but I am very secretive with my family. I am worried incase people will judge me about the career change especially my family who will say it's silly to spend 4 years doing something in college and then going doing something completely different. I don't know what's wrong with me, I am not a paranoid schizophrenic if that's what some will suggest.

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Autochange

I would say you are clever and crafty. I know one friend of mine who is like that. Keeps all his cards close to his chest and only drip feeds information if pushed. Now he is very successful with his own company and lots of property overseas. Nothing wrong with being selective of what you tell people. Most people are too nosy and like to see others fail anyway.

Ciano35

I wouldn’t worry about it, I’m kind of the same way and I would say that a lot of people are. Nobody needs to know all of your private business.

However maybe it would be a good idea to share your career intentions with your immediate family? They will be able to give you advice and support you along the way.

brevity

shalena wrote: »

I am an extremely secretive person and I don't know why. I need ideas on how i could be like this.
I am 25 living at home with my parents and 4 siblings. I trust no body and tell nobody anything. I have a boyfriend who I tell things too but I am still guarded with him, I tell me friends absolutely nothing either . I am making a drastic career change next year and have told no1 about it only my boyfriend. And I warn him to not tell anyone. I attend classes every morning to prepare for this change and when my mother asks me where I am going I lie to her every time. I don't want people knowing incase i fail to achieve it and then I look silly. I have braces on the back of my teeth so no1 would see them and if anyone gets a glimpse and asks me if I have braces, I deny it point blank. My family have no clue I've got them and I've had them on for a year. I wanted the secret ones no surprises there. I have a lock on my phone and not even my boyfriend is allowed into it and I have nothing to hide. Am I very secretive or is this normal? I bought my boyfriends mother a customised magnet of her dog which took me 4 hours to make on the computer and for some reason I did not want to tell him I done this. Maybe incase i would feel stupid? I don't know? It is only these things really but I am very secretive with my family. I am worried incase people will judge me about the career change especially my family who will say it's silly to spend 4 years doing something in college and then going doing something completely different. I don't know what's wrong with me, I am not a paranoid schizophrenic if that's what some will suggest.

I see a little of myself in what you have written and I think it has to do with trust and the ability to be ok with being vulnerable around others.

I'm terrible at opening up and I have awful problems with what people perceive of me - it can sometimes border on being paranoid.

I'd say start small. Tell your boyfriend about the magnet. It's a lovely gesture.