Is this wrong?

ideaburst

I get what adultery is, so no need to explain Hence I think I know the answer to this question already, but I'm still interested to hear your input.

Anyway, if a woman has been told by her husband that he isn't interested her in any way any longer, and that he wants to see other people, is it wrong for her to be with other men and to seek intimacy with others?

Should she wait the 4+ years to become divorced instead?

And is it just as wrong to be with such a woman?

SCOOP 64

She should just leave and then enjoy life, why wait for 4 yrs.

ideaburst

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

She should just leave and then enjoy life, why wait for 4 yrs.

Well that's certainly what she's doing. But they have to live together for financial reasons if nothing else. And it's obviously not easy to find another place to live.

But that's not what the question was

EirWatchr

ideaburst wrote: »

Anyway, if a woman has been told by her husband that he isn't interested her in any way any longer, and that he wants to see other people, is it wrong for her to be with other men and to seek intimacy with others?

Should she wait the 4+ years to become divorced instead?

Given the forum you are asking this in, most Christians before responding would need to know if you were married by a Church (and what vows were made in the sight of God).

ideaburst

EirWatchr wrote: »

Given the forum you are asking this in, most Christians before responding would need to know if you were married by a Church (and what vows were made in the sight of God).

Oh, completely forgot that part!! I am single, she is married but they won't be getting back together by the looks of it.

solodeogloria

Good evening!

ideaburst wrote: »

I get what adultery is, so no need to explain Hence I think I know the answer to this question already, but I'm still interested to hear your input.

Anyway, if a woman has been told by her husband that he isn't interested her in any way any longer, and that he wants to see other people, is it wrong for her to be with other men and to seek intimacy with others?

Should she wait the 4+ years to become divorced instead?

And is it just as wrong to be with such a woman?

Since you're posting on the Christianity forum, it might be useful to look into what Christianity teaches about marriage. This is what Jesus says in the Bible.

Matthew 19:1-12 wrote:

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

As you can see here, marriage isn't meant to be temporary. When that woman and that man were married, if they were married in a Christian church before God they would have promised to remain together to death.

It's important to point out that this passage is talking about divorce. It isn't talking about re-marriage. That is unclear from the Bible and Christians tend to take two views on it.

Firstly - the camp that say yes, if a Christian is divorced in the limited circumstances of marital unfaithfulness (v9) they can re-marry.

Secondly - there are other Christians who say you can only re-marry if you are widowed.

1 Corinthians 7:39-40 wrote:

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

I take the more conservative option here. Paul in 1 Corinthians seems to be pretty clear that one should only re-marry if their first husband has passed on. Otherwise they commit adultery. This seems to be consistent with what Jesus teaches earlier on in Matthew:

Matthew 5:31-32 wrote:

31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

ideaburst wrote: »

Oh, completely forgot that part!! I am single, she is married but they won't be getting back together by the looks of it.

This doesn't matter. If you are serious about Christianity and following Jesus you shouldn't be seeing her. The Bible also teaches that sex is for marriage. Christians aren't saved by works, but we live for Jesus because we love Him and we want to turn away from what separates us from God - namely - sin.

I think you have too low a view of marriage. Marriage is meant to be a picture of God's love for the church and a picture of the loving relationship that the Lord Jesus has with His people. Paul teaches this in Ephesians 5. If you break this woman's marriage apart, you are a part of this sin, namely that their marriage falls short of what God said it should be.

You need to think this through, and if you have begun a relationship with this woman and you are a Christian, namely you want to live and speak for Jesus then you need to end it and repent.

Much thanks,
solodeogloria

homer911

I'm curious as to why you are asking this question. Your conscience seems to be speaking to you and telling you that this isn't right. You would have to ask who/what is informing your conscience? Do you consider yourself a Christian? Do you have a sense of sinfulness (as do all Christians)? Have you prayed about it? Have you studied the Bible to see what it may have to say on the subject? (see the post above) Sincerely seek God's guidance and he will lead you, regardless of what you may be told here (I'm sure you will get responses from non-Christians)

ideaburst

solodeogloria wrote: »

Good evening!



Since you're posting on the Christianity forum, it might be useful to look into what Christianity teaches about marriage. This is what Jesus says in the Bible.


As you can see here, marriage isn't meant to be temporary. When that woman and that man were married, if they were married in a Christian church before God they would have promised to remain together to death.

It's important to point out that this passage is talking about divorce. It isn't talking about re-marriage. That is unclear from the Bible and Christians tend to take two views on it.

Firstly - the camp that say yes, if a Christian is divorced in the limited circumstances of marital unfaithfulness (v9) they can re-marry.

Secondly - there are other Christians who say you can only re-marry if you are widowed.



I take the more conservative option here. Paul in 1 Corinthians seems to be pretty clear that one should only re-marry if their first husband has passed on. Otherwise they commit adultery. This seems to be consistent with what Jesus teaches earlier on in Matthew:




This doesn't matter. If you are serious about Christianity and following Jesus you shouldn't be seeing her. The Bible also teaches that sex is for marriage. Christians aren't saved by works, but we live for Jesus because we love Him and we want to turn away from what separates us from God - namely - sin.

I think you have too low a view of marriage. Marriage is meant to be a picture of God's love for the church and a picture of the loving relationship that the Lord Jesus has with His people. Paul teaches this in Ephesians 5. If you break this woman's marriage apart, you are a part of this sin, namely that their marriage falls short of what God said it should be.

You need to think this through, and if you have begun a relationship with this woman and you are a Christian, namely you want to live and speak for Jesus then you need to end it and repent.

Much thanks,
solodeogloria

Thanks for the reply. I don't have too low a view of marriage - the complete opposite is the case. Otherwise why would I be posting.

I haven't even met her let alone anything else Didn't mention that and did read a lot of the passages before posting too. Also, not sure if you read my first post but her husband has said he doesn't want to be with her anymore. She was with someone else then, after he said that. Then he was. So I doubt they'll come back from it, although I guess it's possible.

Anyway, I was just interested in hearing some replies. I had initially thought there was something in the Bible about a woman being 'free' if her husband turned away from her. And I found something similar - about that if he hands her a divorce paper, that she is then free of him (or along those lines).

solodeogloria

ideaburst wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. I don't have too low a view of marriage - the complete opposite is the case. Otherwise why would I be posting.

I haven't even met her let alone anything else Didn't mention that and did read a lot of the passages before posting too. Also, not sure if you read my first post but her husband has said he doesn't want to be with her anymore. She was with someone else then, after he said that. Then he was. So I doubt they'll come back from it, although I guess it's possible.

Anyway, I was just interested in hearing some replies. I had initially thought there was something in the Bible about a woman being 'free' if her husband turned away from her. And I found something similar - about that if he hands her a divorce paper, that she is then free of him (or along those lines).

Good evening!

It doesn't matter if her husband wants to leave her it doesn't legitimise adultery. Even if a divorce has been granted there's mixed opinion as to whether or not remarriage is Biblical whilst the original husband is still alive.

Feel free to present some passages if you want to discuss it in more depth.

I'd recommend speaking to your pastor or minister if this is a personal pastoral issue.

Much thanks,
solodeogloria