Relationships dont work

Carra 8

Hi I'm of the opinion relationships don't really work , yes two people can like each other very much but it should never really go behind friends because then it gets into tricky things Luke trust and emotion that we as humans can't deal with properly. People lie , its in our nature to.

What I'm wondering is can.anybody challenge my opinion and give me more food for thought as I don't like viewing this situation as this way. I just thing marriages happen for divorces to happen etc We all know what men and women are like when partner isn't around telling there friends how good-looking sexy someone else is etc making fool of said person there meant to be with .

I just want to know anybody think my point of view is quite wrong and could give me some help please , thanks

WIZWEB

All relationships work for a time. Some longer than others.

Make your statement to a prospective partner and I'll guarantee you that your point will be proven quickly and every time.

Carra 8

WIZWEB wrote: »

All relationships work for a time. Some longer than others.

Make your statement to a prospective partner and I'll guarantee you that your point will be proven quickly and every time.

I agree with you , why is it we put ourselves true it then when we know the inevitable is possible heartache or needs healing ? Are we brave for taking the chance or experience or are we naieve and foolish ?

WIZWEB

WIZWEB wrote: »

All relationships work for a time. Some longer than others.

You can't agree with me though because some of those that last 'longer' last a happy lifetime together well at least until one dies so you could be right there. Though the deceased one may have had a perfect relationship in their eyes up until their last day in the relationship

It's in our nature to pursue relationships. Whether intimate, famial or friendships. Even us non procreating gays seek out intimate relationships. I've some heartache behind me yet I hope the next coupling might be different.... The last one. The one that lasts. The one that 'Grows Old With Me'. We as humans fall out with family and friends yet we still more often than not seek these relationships out and seek new ones.

Though to agree a little bit or not with your overall thesis I'd have to say that our most fulfilling, loving, long-term and committed relationship is guaranteed if desired. Though only if we pursue it. It's really the only one that matters but is 100% achievable. The one we nurture with ourselves


Right I'm too tired for this intellectual discussion. I'm about to cement my relationship with my pillow. Nite nite OP

Yellow pack crisps

Carra 8 wrote: »

Hi I'm of the opinion relationships don't really work , yes two people can like each other very much but it should never really go behind friends because then it gets into tricky things Luke trust and emotion that we as humans can't deal with properly. People lie , its in our nature to.

What I'm wondering is can.anybody challenge my opinion and give me more food for thought as I don't like viewing this situation as this way. I just thing marriages happen for divorces to happen etc We all know what men and women are like when partner isn't around telling there friends how good-looking sexy someone else is etc making fool of said person there meant to be with .

I just want to know anybody think my point of view is quite wrong and could give me some help please , thanks

Nothing works if you don't have the right headspace for it to work, the right ethics for it too work, the right trust in it that it will work and the right happiness for it too work. If you think something won't work before you even begin then why would you be surprised to find out it didn't work?

Learn to love and learn to trust, both might hurt you in time or maybe not, but at least you have the right tools to maybe exceed also.

GingerLily

Having read some of your other threads OP I think you should look into seeing a therapist or something.

You seem to have a great apathy for life at the moment and if you don't change your attitude you might find life and your chance at happiness has passed you by.

Have you talked to your doctor about how your feeling about life?

You're not ready for a relationship at the moment, but that should be the least of your worries, sort yourself out first!

Carra 8

GingerLily wrote: »

Having read some of your other threads OP I think you should look into seeing a therapist or something.

You seem to have a great apathy for life at the moment and if you don't change your attitude you might find life and your chance at happiness has passed you by.

Have you talked to your doctor about how your feeling about life?

You're not ready for a relationship at the moment, but that should be the least of your worries, sort yourself out first!

I'd agree with you honestly , worrying thing is I'm actually in one

Xterminator

Hi Op

i heard a woman on the radio once say "i've been smoking for 20 years and i have never had cancer. Therefore i don't believe smoking causes cancer."

your argument does seem based on the same fallacy to me. some relationships do fail. without question. some don't. the reasons why as as varied as the stars.

But to reject your assertion -

some relationships don't fail some do. while in a (good) relationship. they give strength and purpose to the people in the relationship. if the people who are happily in a relationship never tried due to fear of loss and rejection their lives would be poorer. i don't think that's difficult to accept. Given as we are are all mortal, all relationships end eventually, and usually at least one partner ends up alone.

you wouldn't decide not to have children because they will eventually die. so why would you decide not to have a relationship because one way or another it will eventually end?

Its about the journey.

GingerLily

Carra 8 wrote: »

I'd agree with you honestly , worrying thing is I'm actually in one

Why?

Why are you in a relationship if you don't believe in them?

You ignored my other points.

sbsquarepants

I think it's not that they don't work, some quite obviously do. It's that they aren't like in the movies, and they don't necessarily last forever - nobody is perfect, it's stupid to expect perfection from anyone. People will lie, they'll fight, they'll sulk, they'll be selfish in short they'll be assholes to one another sometimes - that's just life.

Another thing is how do you measure success?

If you have 5 great years with someone and then something happens that causes you to break up, is that a "failed" relationship? I don't think so. Life is short, i'll take as many great years as I can get my hands on!

kylith

Carra 8 wrote: »

Hi I'm of the opinion relationships don't really work , yes two people can like each other very much but it should never really go behind friends because then it gets into tricky things Luke trust and emotion that we as humans can't deal with properly. People lie , its in our nature to.

What I'm wondering is can.anybody challenge my opinion and give me more food for thought as I don't like viewing this situation as this way. I just thing marriages happen for divorces to happen etc We all know what men and women are like when partner isn't around telling there friends how good-looking sexy someone else is etc making fool of said person there meant to be with .

I just want to know anybody think my point of view is quite wrong and could give me some help please , thanks

I honestly think that you are projecting your own insecurities and emotional issues onto the general population. Like; a woman I used to work with who saw infidelity as inevitable, then would get upset when all her relationships broke down in a maelstrom of infidelity. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you have issues with trust and emotional communication then that will bleed over into your relationships and they will be doomed from the outset.

Carra 8

Some great points here that have made me think and accept I have emotional insecurities. To the woman who said I needed maybe help I would agree but I do not plan to seek any , any time soon. I have a bad outlook in life and it seems to be hindering the way I seen things and to have a positive outlook.

Maybe I'm resentful for something in my past I don't know , but it would be great to see the positive situation and everything in a different light . I don't know why I'm in a relationship its not even official although it use to be , we are kind of FWB know but I honestly hate that term , in my mind we are official its just that I don't think I should be made put forth the effort required as it makes me uncomfortable .

Tokyo

Mod:

As this is simply a discussion thread about relationships, and not an actual relationship issue, thread closed.