24 and really struggling with life

LegacyUser

Hi
I've gone unregistered for this but would really appreciate peoples opinions.

Basically I'm a 24 year old lad and am struggling with life atm.

I suffer from anxiety and it prevents me from doing so much. I've been going to a counselor and have been on SSRI's for nearly 6 years now. My anxiety causes me a great deal of problems throughout my day to day life. Im currently living at home with my parents in a rural part of the North West of Ireland which has absolutely nothing going on for people my age. The problem is my anxiety has agoraphobia and depersonalisation symptoms which makes it incredibly difficult leave home for long periods of time.
I would love to move to somewhere like Dublin where I could meet new people my age and do more exciting things but my anxiety prevents me from doing so.
It's so isolating as I am a very outgoing guy who loves meeting new people and having new experiences. I had to drop out of college in Galway when I was nineteen due to these problems.
It's so embarrassing to think that I am 24 and struggle to live apart from my family. As I turned 24 a few weeks ago it has hit me harder as I feel I am wasting my youth. Frankly, it feels like hell and I contemplated ending my life a few months ago when I just couldn't see any way things would work out for me. I just don't see myself ever being truly happy.

Thanks for listening.

never_mind

StrugglingWithLife wrote: »

Hi
I've gone unregistered for this but would really appreciate peoples opinions.

Basically I'm a 24 year old lad and am struggling with life atm.

I suffer from anxiety and it prevents me from doing so much. I've been going to a counselor and have been on SSRI's for nearly 6 years now. My anxiety causes me a great deal of problems throughout my day to day life. Im currently living at home with my parents in a rural part of the North West of Ireland which has absolutely nothing going on for people my age. The problem is my anxiety has agoraphobia and depersonalisation symptoms which makes it incredibly difficult leave home for long periods of time.
I would love to move to somewhere like Dublin where I could meet new people my age and do more exciting things but my anxiety prevents me from doing so.
It's so isolating as I am a very outgoing guy who loves meeting new people and having new experiences. I had to drop out of college in Galway when I was nineteen due to these problems.
It's so embarrassing to think that I am 24 and struggle to live apart from my family. As I turned 24 a few weeks ago it has hit me harder as I feel I am wasting my youth. Frankly, it feels like hell and I contemplated ending my life a few months ago when I just couldn't see any way things would work out for me. I just don't see myself ever being truly happy.

Thanks for listening.

Hi OP

Anxiety is a horrible disorder to have and I can relate to you totally. I have really bad anxiety as well but went into CBT and got on the right medication and I eventually got better.. I still relapse but it's easy for me now to get back to where I was.

Have you spoken to your GP about getting referred to a CBT counselor? They have been proven to be the best at treating anxiety and depression. Also, looking at your life and figuring out what small steps you can take today to get you in the right direction can help you. Maybe this post is the start of something new for you.

Knowing that your anxiety can't harm you and that you are going to be safe no matter how depersonalized you feel is a tough truth to accept.. I hope that you get the opportunity to recover like others have. It takes tmie but you can do it if you put a bit of effort into it.

Rubberchikken

Talk to your gp.
It's old advice but truly the best place to start. You need support and help to overcome this and then you can do whatever you dream of doing.
24 is very young and you have your life ahead of you.
You know you want to do more than stay at home so to achieve this you need to find ways to cope with the anxiety and that's where a doctor can help.
Good luck

lazybones32

Even if you moved to Dublin, you'd carry your issues with you and cities can be very lonely places.

Keep taking your meds but force yourself to get involved in other activities too (Aware hold meetings in every county) toastmasters is another avenue for socialising.
There is plenty happening in NW, so go find it!

zoobizoo

Order a copy of the Feeling Good Handbook online. Full of good activities for you to do to help you improve.

You're in the north West.... . Close to the best surf in the country / the world. Surfing is a great way to get out of your self..... It's like meditation as you're totally in the moment.

It cured my SAD (winter blues) and increased my confidence.... And gave me something to look forward to during the winter months. Plus it got me to start exercising and it's a great way to meet people.

LegacyUser

Thanks all for the messages.
I actually have been seeing a CBT therapist for the last 5 years. I recently got a new one after my previous therapist retired and tbh I do miss my old therapist. Had a better rapport with her.
I know moving to Dublin won't help my anxiety but I was saying that I'd love to move there as there are so many opportunities up there and my anxiety prevents it.
As regards surfing, good suggestion but I can't swim and never took to the water when young. I am into fitness and go to the gym four times a week. However there is a very poor community in my area with regards fitness. It is actually one reason I want to move to Dublin. I want to make a career in fitness and meet new people.

Tokyo

StrugglingWithLife wrote: »

Thanks all for the messages.
I actually have been seeing a CBT therapist for the last 5 years. I recently got a new one after my previous therapist retired and tbh I do miss my old therapist. Had a better rapport with her.

When I read your post last night OP, the first question that came to mind was if you had changed therapists, or if there had been a recent change in your life.

It seems that you had a better connection with your previous therapist - most likely, he or she was familiar with your anxiety, what triggers is, what you are willing to do to alleviate it and so on - your new therapist, not so much.

It may take time for your new therapist to become more familiar with your situation, but if you find that he or she is not working for you, there's nothing wrong with seeking out another therapist that you feel more comfortable with, or you feel is able to help you work through your struggles.

Rubberchikken

You could change therapists again until you find one that suits you better.
If you don't gel then it's harder I think to achieve anything.
It is a type of relationship and needs to work for you to benefit.

LegacyUser

Tbh I actually tried to get a new therapist but I was advised by the top doctor to stick it out with this one and try and build a rapport. Now my therapist is a lovely woman but I just find her a little bit ditsy and doesn't seem the most tuned in. There is also a severe lack of mental health resources in this part of Ireland. When my previous therapist retired, it took months for them to find a replacement.

I know mixing and socialising with more people my age will help as I feel very lonely and isolated at times. I know there may be certain socialising groups somewhere not too far away but the problem is that 90% of these groups aren't for people around my age. I'm also a very sociable guy when I do go out which is why this is killing me. As they say 'it's hell to have anxiety and a sociable personality'
I see how so many people are loving life online (Now I know, they put their best foot forward online) but I would love to be doing what they are doing. I doubt many people my age would be able to stomach my current existence atm. I feel like im falling deeper and deeper into a black hole.

LegacyUser

OP here
Thanks again for all the replies. I've enquired about swapping therapists but I was advised by the main psychologist to try and build a rapport with the current therapist.
There is a severe lack of services in this part of Ireland so I'm not sure if there's actually any more therapists allocated to my area or surrounding areas.
I love mixing with lots of different people my age. For example I've seen in Dublin that the gyms are overflowing with beautiful ladies my age (potential partners) and fitness enthusiasts that could be friends. Im using the gym cos it is a big interest of mine.
There is no groups in my area or surrounding areas that are for people my age. We are almost like a forgotten age.
I can fully understand why we have such a mental health problem in this country.

Tenigate

Op, you're saying there's a "severe" lack of mental health services in your part of the country, that your age has been forgotten, that dublin gyms overflow with clunge, and that you fully understand why mental health is such a problem. ...
Well, what if none of that was true?
What if that was all just a world view you constructed despite little world experience, and now you're defending? What if you actually have a decent therapist, but you're dismissing her offhand as symptomatic of the terrible state of mental health services in this country because some prick with a plastic bag on his face says so? What if the ssri's make it easier to bear the fact that your life could be better if you engaged with your therapist, moved to dublin, met all those people you say you love so much to meet... but you choose not to?

Op, everyone takes a bit of time figuring life out. Tough love doesn't work for everyone but i think you need a dose of it. The following advice is cliche but "you only have 1 life" and "you're not a tree. If you're not happy, move."

The Planters Daughter

Very sad to hear you are feeling like that, I used to suffer form anxiety but only mildly. I found meditation yoga, regular excersize and completely cutting out caffeine is what cured it for me.  Do you have any hobbies or passions? Getting a passion in life is what makes it all worth while - You are still young enough to travel, to work abroad, you could go out and see the world. Try and work on the anxiery first, I hope you start feeling better!

zoobizoo

StrugglingWithLife wrote: »

As regards surfing, good suggestion but I can't swim and never took to the water when young. I am into fitness and go to the gym four times a week. However there is a very poor community in my area with regards fitness. .

I know plenty of surfers who can barely swim. Or who challenged themselves to learn properly.

Until I took it up, I never ventured in to the sea - it just wasn't me. I wasn't a beach person. (I challenged myself to do it the first time... and the second... and the third..... which is when I caught my first wave.... persistence was key)

12 / 13 years later I'll get into the sea to surf in snow, rain, hail and sleet. I'll change by the side of a car on the side of the road in 0 degrees..... I was never a person who dealt with the cold.

Until I took up surfing, I never had a hobby. I was never a hobby person.



I think you need to start challenging yourself and opening yourself to new opportunities.


It doesn't have to be surfing btw - it could be kayaking or cycling or anything... the gym is not a sociable place.