Do those who have a break get back together?

LegacyUser

Hi all, Going Un reg for this.

Im 23 and GF is also 23. We live about 40 minutes drive apart and go to different colleges. So I'll be the first to admit we dont see each other as much as we like during the college term We would see each other often on a Friday evening and maybe a Sunday before we go back to College for the coming week. We are both in Final Year now and the workload is piling up but we're both keeping on top of it at the moment anyways.

From January to September next year, she is going on placement as part of her course. That would mean we are 90 minutes drive away(She expects to come home once every 2 or 3 weeks). We have been together 3 years now and she has suggested that we go on a break as we wont get to see each other with the hope of getting back together a few months down the line. (Probably when finished college in May/June)

I am against the idea of the break obviously and have made it clear that I am willing to put in an effort to make it work. Ive no problem driving to go and visit at the weekend etc.

Im sure i am not the only one to be in a situation like this and would appreciate any advice on similar experiences you may have encountered. I wonder am I wasting my time trying to change her mind regarding the break. Do people who go on a break generally get back together and what happens during a break? Do you still keep in contact during this break period.

Thanks in advance

eeguy

Its really not a good sign.

A break is a the same as a breakup, just with the option of getting back together.
Is the intention that you'd be getting with other people?
You've been together 3 years, so presumably you have talked about a future? Presumably this doesn't involve having an open relationship?

retro:electro

90 minutes drive away really isn't that far. Some people do that daily for work. It doesn't sound good, if I'm honest.
What did she say when you said you'd be willing to visit at weekends?

Sephiroth_dude

Breaks are messy and never end well in my experience, you're basically in limbo and that's not a nice place too be, personally I would just end it, you're willing too put in the effort and she isn't by the sounds of it.

Look at it like this:

You two are together for 3 years. Her placement will only be for a few months, during which time ye’d still be able to see each other the odd weekend, phone/message/facetime etc.

Easily done, especially when you’re up for the little bit more of a drive to come visit.

Yet she wants to ‘take a break’ now, in your final year but not too close to exams etc., right?

Sounds like she wants to break up with you but is using the ‘take a break’ cop out instead of just being straight about it.

Taking a break is BS. It’s a break up, plain and simple. She wants to try someone else on for size and either wants you to make an ultimatum now about ‘a break’ and dump her (easier for her that way, as you’ll be the bad guy), or she hopes she can keep you as a safety blanket if whoever else she has on her mind doesn’t work out.

Let’s face it, a little more distance from you for a few months would be perfect to see how things go with someone else from her course, for example.

Yeah, taking a break, is never really taking a break. Life and people don’t work in such simple ways.