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Not sure if i love my girlfriend anymore

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  • 02-11-2017 12:20pm
    #1
    needadvice87
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭


    Iv'e been in a relationship for about 10 years now. In the last 6 months or so i have found myself not wanting to sleep with her anymore. I'm not sure if I ever completely loved her but I do care about her deeply. She has been my best friend for the time we've been together and I'm struggling with the decision on whether or not to break up with her. I feel like I need to be certain at this stage as after 10 years and the fact that we are both in our early 30's it's time to start a family together, but if i were to picture the type of person I'd want to be with the rest of my life it's not her. I'm not sure if this is because of my own issues that I'm not fully aware of, and that if I care about someone I can make it work and be happy or not.
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    #2
    Birneybau
    Registered Users Posts: 10,234 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Hi poster.

    I don't have any advice but have contacted a moderator to move this to Personal Issues. Wise people over there.


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    #3
    Agent Smith
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,502 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    needadvice87 wrote: »
    Iv'e been in a relationship for about 10 years now. In the last 6 months or so i have found myself not wanting to sleep with her anymore. I'm not sure if I ever completely loved her but I do care about her deeply. She has been my best friend for the time we've been together and I'm struggling with the decision on whether or not to break up with her. I feel like I need to be certain at this stage as after 10 years and the fact that we are both in our early 30's it's time to start a family together, but if i were to picture the type of person I'd want to be with the rest of my life it's not her. I'm not sure if this is because of my own issues that I'm not fully aware of, and that if I care about someone I can make it work and be happy or not.

    If you feel like that. Dump her.


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    #4
    Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Employee Posts: 12,597 ✭✭✭✭✭Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Community Manager


    Moved to Personal Issues, their charter now applies.

    How can I? User's guide to some features on the new site



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    #5
    eeguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,478 ✭✭✭eeguy


    needadvice87 wrote: »
    Iv'e been in a relationship for about 10 years now. In the last 6 months or so i have found myself not wanting to sleep with her anymore. I'm not sure if I ever completely loved her but I do care about her deeply.

    I've been there. With a girl 5 years, loved her to bits but I was never completely convinced she was "the one". I think maybe if we'd met later in life it would have worked, but we both had different priorities that couldnt be compromised on.
    So I broke it off. Not entirely happy about the situation one year later, but i know it was for the best for both of us.


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    #6
    silverharp
    Registered Users Posts: 17,849 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    needadvice87 wrote: »
    ..... but if i were to picture the type of person I'd want to be with the rest of my life it's not her. I'm not sure if this is because of my own issues that I'm not fully aware of, and that if I care about someone I can make it work and be happy or not.


    if you have been together that long what have her conversations been like, does she want to get married have kids?

    What about her would worry you about being together going forward?

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



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    #7
    needadvice87
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭needadvice87


    Yes she'd like to start a family. Im not sure though, we don't 'click' the way i'd like. I think a lot of the reason I have stayed with her is that she has kept me on the straight and narrow(I had a problem with drugs for a while), which i know is a little selfish of me. She has had her own issues as well, she finds it very difficult to cope with any stress and i think in a way i resent her for that. She can be very negative sometimes and self defeating and I think this is most of the reason im not sexually attracted to her anymore, It can be draining, even though she is very attractive.


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    #8
    Rekop dog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,584 ✭✭✭Rekop dog


    You say you're not attracted to her anymore. Is there anything she could do to change that? Is it a case of her being too settled in the relationship and not making an effort anymore? I get the sense there's an underlying issue here you haven't mentioned.


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