Is Misunderstood Then Offended by My Neighbors a Harassment and What Should I Do?

Indream Luo

Hi everyone,

Sorry for making the story too long. I just want to describe the details as much as possible. I'm still feeling scared at the moment.


I'm a Asian expat working in Dublin with a work permit and found a place to reside at the beginning.

I chose the place because I would be able to walk to/from work everyday and so did I do in the last 20 months I'm living here. But for the reason that I'm not got involved into the activities of the communities, I don't know my neighbors much.

Yesterday night was the Halloween and I saw a party outside the street when coming home, so I walked out after dinner. But unfortunately the party was over at the moment, so I walked around on the street I lived in to see if there would be anything else interesting.

There were mainly kids playing all around, parents chatting in group and fireworks. A group of parents right staying at 20m away from my home with kids playing around and asked me 'did you get lost?'

I answered them 'no' and told them I was just having an after dinner walk and lived right here. They didn't seem to either believe me or was willing to talk more so just turned back to their own small group chat. I could hear them talking 'he just say after dinner' in low voice. So I walked away and tried best to avoid them there after.

When sometimes later, there was almost empty on the street except people cleaning the party stuffs with vehicles. I decided to have a last look then go home.

When I was passing the small playground I pass twice a day for work/home, I saw some kids were still playing. I still had some candies left and I won't need them after the holiday so I asked anyone would like could take them all.

A girl close said she's OK. Then a girl came from far to get my candies after throwing all the crisps she left on the ground for fun. I didn't want her to waste my candies but after having a hesitate I decided saying nothing and go home.

I didn't feel wrong because having small chats, greetings or claps with the kids and teens were like daily normal for I'd been living here so long. Most of the time was they would try to greet me first. And I still think it's a warm and nice community.

It happened when I turned back and walked meters away. A lady seems like the girl's parent shouted at her from 2nd floor very loudly to ask the girl to throw out all the candies 'the stranger' gave her several times when I was right in front of her down stairs on the street.

I was shocked and ask her was she talking about me. She said yes then turned to me and then keep shouting at me saying I'm a stranger that shouldn't give the kids anything without parents' watching and she's been seeing me walking all around the night.

I said, 'Sorry, I didn't know. I just live there.'

'Then go the f**k back where you live.' and then kept shouting the same thing to me and told me to leave the kids along.

As the kids were actually behind the high fences and needed to go a long way and access an apartment area I'd never got in, and I was already distant from the place and walking to an opposite direction to home. I was actually not able to get any contact with the kids anymore.

I didn't know what to do when she's yelling like that to me louder and louder. When she was almost as loud as screaming a guy came out with a device seemed like video taping on me. And after they yelling together a short time, the lady went in (or maybe was coming down).

I was scared and kept going home. The guy kept yelling bad words like 'Get the f* out of here', 'Go the f** away', 'f** you' with saying to the video 'he's walking away' 'he turned'

I opened the door with my key in front of his camera to try to show him that I was really his neighbor and lived near by. But he didn't stop saying bad things before I closed the door and I didn't know what happened after.

I was scared last night and couldn't fall asleep. I was afraid of going out to work this morning for I could be meeting them or some neighbors heart something not good about me. I was so careful with all people on the street this morning.

I'm still worrying of living here. It's hard to find another simulate place to live in Dublin from the market currently and I've been living here 20 months. But the community is not big and almost all the supermarkets, stores and everything are on the short street and it is the street I walk to/from work everyday.

I think maybe it's just a misunderstanding that we don't know each other. I don't know how could I explain that I'm not a bad guy to all of them. They are seen as local and close to the local community. I'm afraid of facing any inappropriate behavior against me and facing the continuous pressure from the community in the future.

So I wonder what could I do in my case? Is there because of I offended some local culture rules? Or at last I'm the one who offends the law and should be punished? I don't understand that it's Halloween night and people either alone or in groups walking around to have fun on the street, why did they only 'notice' me? I was not dressing very exaggerated or made up.

Thank you very much for you patient of reading my story. I didn't meet such kind of think it my last 2 years in Dublin before. I don't know what to do and nervous of what's going to happen.

5uspect

Sounds like a cultural misunderstanding and a rather nasty response from your neighbours.

Firstly they have no right to racially abuse you like that.
I would not have approached the children and offered them candy, this is was a cultural mistake.
The tradition on Halloween is for parents to supervise their kids visiting neighbouring homes and receiving some treats at the door. Avoid approaching children if you can, especially at night. Parents are extremely sensitive to the idea of strangers abducting kids.

Personally I would just forget it, these don’t sound like people I would want to interact with and there are other neighbours you can try to befriend. Find a local club or social activity and get to know locals there.

Indream Luo

5uspect wrote: »

Sounds like a cultural misunderstanding and a rather nasty response from your neighbours.

Firstly they have no right to racially abuse you like that.
I would not have approached the children and offered them candy, this is was a cultural mistake.
The tradition on Halloween is for parents to supervise their kids visiting neighbouring homes and receiving some treats at the door. Avoid approaching children if you can, especially at night. Parents are extremely sensitive to the idea of strangers abducting kids.

Personally I would just forget it, these don’t sound like people I would want to interact with and there are other neighbours you can try to befriend. Find a local club or social activity and get to know locals there.

Thank you for telling me what about the culture. I think I did make a mistake by unknowing the culture.

I want to report to the local Garda tonight. I don't mean to give them pressure. I just want some advise from them since they might have better communication with locals and I still need to walk by their house twice a day at least.

The best result would be understanding each other, hopefully.

the_pen_turner

your better off to have your side on file for suture use. some people jump to conclusions and think your a serial child murderer

lukesmom

Well I can understand from a mothers point of view how I would feel if I saw a strange man from another country giving sweets or anything for that matter to my child. I know it was completely innocent but the way the world is, you just never know what's going on and for a parent to see that happening, the first thing she will do is tell her child not to eat the sweets but I guess as she was upstairs in an apartment looking on from her balcony, all she could do was shout it. I think the guy with the camera over reacted and that is unfortunate, as is the language that was used and also the racist 'go the fk back where you live'. I'm sorry you had to hear that and be treated in that way. At least you know now not to give sweets to kids you don't know very well. Hopefully the neighbours leave it at that and maybe in the future you will speak again but for now I would go about your business as usual and if you really feel like you want to go to the gardai then do.

Indream Luo

Hi All,

Thanks for replying and the advises. I just back from the communities' Garda station and received very kind advises from a nice officer.

He said, if I could find them, he then could approach them and make an intermedia communication. But I don't know them or their room number on second floor not of the same apartment area as me.

Then the officer mentioned that if I met them and being offended again, I could call the station straight away since it's a recorded case.

I don't think my neighbours are bad. Maybe they were just tired and nervous at the moment and not always treat people in this way. If I have a chance to meet them again, I would like to have an communication with them via Garda.

Anyway, appreciate all you advises again!