wedding speech or not?

flipflophead22

Folks,

Geting married next month, eeek! Have a quick question, its just a small hotel wedding with roughly 40 guests. I dont have any plans for a speech or anything during the dinner and not too keen on doing one! I have mentioned to the missus and she is fine with that and said i dont have to. Not sure if her dad is going to say a few words during the dinner or what! So is it expected of me? Is it "weird" if i dont? I guess i dont feel the need to give the soppy few words as she already knows how much she means to me. So does that get me out of it?:D

Thanks in advance.

purpleisafruit

Got married 2 years ago with pretty much the same setup. There were no speeches whatsoever and nobody cared. When the numbers are small, the people there know that they are important to you so no need for a big song and dance, there's also no need to give a big speech proclaiming your love for your new wife. The fact that you're having a wedding is more than enough to show your commitment!

flipflophead22

Phew! Haha yes my thoughts exactly. I just dont want her da to make me look like a lemon:D Must do some digging and see what his plans are. Thanks:)

Romantic Rose

We had no speeches and I don't regret it for a second. Would have hated to give my Dad a platform to be fake when he has spoken so poorly of me in the past. Sorry I had personal reasons for not having speeches but I think it's purely an optional thing.

Make the wedding your own and do what you want. My husband just got up and said thank you to everyone who came etc. One minute, job done and dinner served

andreoilin

Went to a wedding this year and knew beforehand that they'd decided on no speeches. Instead there was a short letter from both the bride and groom on each table just thanking everyone for being a part of their wedding and how thankful they were for each other etc. Thought it was a really nice touch.

flipflophead22

Yip sounds ideal to be fair. Thank you

exaisle

For gawd sake, grow a pair, man! Get up on your hind legs and say a few words. Thank the guests for coming and for the wondering gifts....compliment the bridesmaids on their appearance and propose a toast to them....thank the best man for getting you to the church/registry office in one piece and last but not least, thank your missus for having you....you feel like the luckiest man in the world..and you love her to bits. No harm in nailing your colours to the mast!!
I know she said you don't have to make a speech but she'll appreciate it all the more if she isn't expecting it.
The best speeches are like mini skirts....long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to attract everybody's attention. All of the above shouldn't take you more than a minute or so. Try not to cry. :-)

Finally....all the best to you both....hope you have a wonderful day and a happy life together. :-)

flipflophead22

Lol food for thought...i wont cry i swear.:D And thanks for the well wishes btw :-)

Jrop

We didn't have speeches at our wedding. My husband is very shy and is terrified of public speaking.
So the best man stood up thanked everyone on our behalf and raised a toast to us.

flipflophead22

yeah, no best man or bridesmaids at ours so thats the difference. Wouldnt be relying on anyone anyway. Will give it a lash:D

Jrop

well he was our witness really cos I didn't want the fuss of bridesmaids for a wedding of 53 ppl

scarepanda

I'm neutral on speeches but I got a giggle from your post exaisle!

For what it's worth, I'm getting married in two weeks. I know my dad's doing one (he's the risky one, he's very liable to go off on a tangent), his mam (parents are separated) and the best man. I'm not sure about himself or his dad. If he doesn't do one I'll prob just say a few thank yous, nothing elaborate though.

lazygal

If I was planning our wedding again we'd have no speeches. Might have had himself say thanks for coming etc bit but nothing more. One speech went on and on despite everything we discussed.

Icaras

No real need for a speech, just make sure the word is out before the wedding so people aren't expecting one.

GingerLily

I said a few words at my wedding, thanked everyone for coming, thanked everyone who helped with the planning, and said a few words to my husband to be, maybe 3/4 sentences.
Guests seemed to appreciate the the personal touch and made it more intimate.

You don't need speeches but you should, if you can, say a few words, it doesn't need to be a production or an essay, just a few words.

cooperguy

Im in the same position as you! Wedding next month! I have been at weddings where there has been no speeches (and nobody has cared) but I think its worth doing a short one if you can. There are some pretty good guides out there. Thank everybody and say how great your bride is!

Mollyb60

It's really whatever you feel comfortable with OP. No one else can decide that for you. We flipped a coin to see who would do the thank yous at my wedding. Husband got the honour. "Thanks to everyone for coming, thanks to everyone involved in the wedding, thanks to the hotel for the lovely food, and thanks to my wife for being awesome." That was it.

Spanish Eyes

I'm not a fan of speeches at all. But I'm talking about the endless drivel that some can spout in rotation, you know, the groom, the father of the bride, the bestman, and often these days the bride too.

All that is necessary (IMV of course!) is to be courteous and upbeat, that means a big thank you to everyone for being here with us today, thank you everyone who helped make this day so special for us. Lovely to see you all and so glad you can join in the celebration with us. etc. We are so happy today. We Hope you enjoy it all, so eat drink and be merry and let the fun begin!

Anatom

I've been to loads of weddings over the years but I've never been to one where the groom didn't at least get up and say something. It would be strange if he didn't. So, definitely get up and welcome everyone, compliment the bridesmaids and best man etc., and absolutely say something about your new wife!!

It doesn't need any drama or show, and definitely don't go on longer than about three minutes.

Finally, do it before everyone starts to eat their meal. That way it forms a way of officially starting the meal and you can also then enjoy your own meal all the more, knowing that your "official" duties are over for the day.

Congratulations, and enjoy your day!

pauliebdub

Depends on whether you are a good speaker or not. Some wedding speeches i've heard were hilarious and others dull and awkward. It is nice to thanks people for gifts and for attending so if you do not give a speech you should try and thank everyone individually if possible.

Mimojo

We had a small wedding of 80 people, both dads said a very brief few words, bestman the same, and my husband got up and said something along the lines of “we just want to thank each and every one of you for coming today and spending this day with us”. It was ideal, he isn’t big on public speaking, and I really didn’t want to do it.

If it is going to stress you out, or you simply don’t want to do it then don’t is my advise, it is your wedding day and you should do it the way you want to. I think esp in the case of small wedding, the people that are there know they are important to you.

I personally HATE speeches at a wedding, they are painful to sit through, and some people just go so over the top it is unnecessary!

Ghekko

Is her dad a confident outspoken man who would love to stand up and say a few words? Hopefully he's as uncomfortable as you at the thoughts and will be relieved not to have to say anything. My dad used to chair AA meetings and I daresay was well able to talk for ireland at them, but when it came to our weddings we had to write out his speech - few words - and he read it directly from the page. I reckon if the thought of no speeches had occurred to us back then, we'd have all been delighted. Don't do it if you're not comfortable as it will make for a nerve wrecking day.