Anger and Irritability

LegacyUser

Regular poster, going anonymous for this.

I am wondering what can be done to reduce my irritability and anger. I am aware myself that I am increasingly irritated by trivial things, to the detriment of others, particularly my wife. It's like I can find no peace. I may be watching television in the evening and something silly like the noise of her chewing a biscuit is like somebody pricking me with a pin. I picked that as an example of how ridiculous it can be.

Before anybody suggest that I have an issue with my wife, I don't. I love her to bits, it's not the manifestation of any issues between us or with her. The same irritability is present at work and all through my day. I mostly manage to keep it bottled, i.e., I don't explode on somebody for slurping their tea or tapping their fingers on the desk! There are times however it can surface and I'm perceived as being a grump.

I wouldn't consider myself highly anxious, but anxiety is becoming a more regular feature in my life. I don't have money troubles, not affluent by any means, I am living pay check to pay check, but bills are all being paid and food is on the table, car is insured and taxed etc. So, I don't feel money is the stress.

I feel sad a lot, an awful lot. A deep sadness. Sometimes I just can't summon the energy to care about things I know I should care about. Somebody close to me gives me great news and I can smile and be outwardly happy for them and politely congratulate them but inwardly I feel indifference.

The other emotion in my title I mentioned was anger. I surprise myself at times with the level of anger I feel over nothing. If for example a friend of my brother who I don't like gets in touch with my brother while I'm with him, I feel fury almost. I seeth a bit. It's absolutely unwarranted and strangely emotional response to a person who doesn't deserve it. This happens with quite a few people. If I decide I don't like somebody or care much about them, then I can feel astonishing anger towards them. This is the most frightening part. It is an unbelievable over reaction for no reason. I don't say anything to the person involved, I just simmer away thinking about them.

My strongest emotions are anger and sadness. Destructive feelings which will consume me.

I have tried to make an appointment with a doctor who has a practice almost next door to me, and been turned away as I'm a new patient. I asked for tomorrow, for some day next week, or even a fortnight's time, and told they're not taking new patients. It took me months to get up the courage to make that call. I know I won't call another GP today, it'll take a while before I get myself geared up to call someone.

Has anybody gone through this, or similar, or aware of it. I know it's likely depression, I've taken anti-depressants at other points in my life.

I'd love some advice and feedback and others to share their stories.

December2012

Find another GP. Now without giving medical advice there are some other practical things you can do:

1. Get sleep
2. Eat proper food regularly (try to avoid sugar / salt crashes and highs).
3. Drink properly - lots of water - ease up on the caffeine as it can make you physically anxious
4. Have as much lovemaking as possible
5. Exercise, whatever way you can. Maybe something private and aggressive (eg pounding the treadmill with loads music on in earphones).
6. Every day write down a list of 10 things you’re grateful for.
7. Listen to meditation.

Do this for at least six weeks.

Follow up with the dr.

Talk to your wife.

I think it’s grwat that you’ve noticed this change you want to make

Redser87

Get in touch with the HSE, they can intervene with a local doctor to put you on their list.
Fair play to you for seeking help and I hope you get the help you need.

Wesser

There are lots of options available to you.
You can call another GP ...... yes you can!! You can talk yourself into it!!!! You can do it!!!!

You can do all of the things listed above... brilliant advice. I especially love ther bit about more sex. A gp was recently pulled in front of the medical council for recommending more sex!!! Which is quite sad.

You could book in with a therapist.

Best if luck. You will overcome this.

witchgirl26

OP has there been any major stresser in your life? Even if it's not been recently but in the last few years? I ask becuase I went through very similar emotions about 4 years after my dad died. Literally every little thing people I loved did would annoy the hell out of me and I was angry all the time with everything and everyone. It didn't manifest for a few years and therefore I didn't connect the two.

I would try to get in with another GP, maybe pop in in person if able. It's easy for them to refuse someone over the phone but a lot more difficult in person.

It's one of the most cliche responses maybe but counting to 10 really does help. Close your eyes if possible. It doesn't make it go away completely but gives you those 10 seconds before you react or say anything to just breathe.

Good luck! It's not easy but you will get there.

amtc

This is a little thing but something I do every day. I write a list of things I have to achieve and each night tick them off. Last night it was as basic as pay credit card, defrost freezer. I also have a manual calendar and change the date randomly to one a month after. And that is my day for monthly overhaul. Works for me.

pilly

Jesus OP I know exactly the feeling you describe. There's days when I'm in the office and I want to scream at them all to shut the fcuk up, not because they're being particularly loud, I just can't stand the noise.

I don't know the answer either. I'm already on medication for depression and don't feel that I'm depressed, just the unbearable anger and irritation that you describe. Also in the afternoon I can feel an overwhelming tiredness and don't want to speak to anyone.

I'm female so thought maybe it was hormonal but if I'm right in assuming you're male then maybe it's not. Exercise could have something to do with it alright as I tend to get out less now with the evenings getting darker. The roads around my way are just too dangerous to walk in the dark so I'll have to come up with some other form of exercise. Can't stand gyms.

Best of luck OP, I know I haven't offered much advice but it might help you to know that you're not the only one that feels this way.

pilly

amtc wrote: »

This is a little thing but something I do every day. I write a list of things I have to achieve and each night tick them off. Last night it was as basic as pay credit card, defrost freezer. I also have a manual calendar and change the date randomly to one a month after. And that is my day for monthly overhaul. Works for me.

What does the overhaul involve?

amtc

Can be as basic as checking my home insurance. Thus month's list is attend mgt co AGM, look into painter, check boiler prices, apply for a particular job, it works for me to set aside one day a month!

Another day

Please talk to someone. It does sound like depression has crept in to your life. It can be so hard to motivate yourself or even admit there is something off kilter. Try and find a counsellor if you don't want to go to a gp. Aware also hold weekly meetings where people who feel similar meet, talk and support each other which may tide you over until you get an appointment. Do a search on their site for a support group in your area. Please also talk to your wife as her understanding and support will help you.
Best of luck.

lazeedaisy

I know how you feel and am not sure what to say to you.

My OH was like this several years ago, he would have moments of white hot rage that would mortify me, but I never said anything as he\ we were going through a lot.

It took several weeks for the rage to manifest as depression, but we did not know this, just knew there was something wrong. I finally took him to our GP who diagnosed severe depression. That said, we did leave it rather late because we didn't know what to do.

Mental health treatment in this country is hit and miss! Mostly miss, in my opinion, and I can say this seven years later.

We have an excellent GP, thank goodness, he has been a god send. Without him, I don't dare think where he would be, trust me, you need to find someone to tell everything to. It's a starting point, and once you look at however you are currently handling life, you get to be able to see through the Haze.

It takes time to deal with it, it takes a professional to help you, to give you skills to deal with living life again. Learn to trust your instincts again.

Life can be good again, as they say, this too shall pass, but get help to cope.

Good luck, and tell them everything,

Just reading your post on your GP.

Not sure where in the country you are in, but you have to try another GP, and another. Until you find the right fit.

lazeedaisy

Just another note,

Whilst I think the organisations out there are helpful with weekly meetings, it's not what you need at this stage, as it can make you feel more anxious listening to other people's problems. You do need a good GP.

I am sure your wife is at her wits end, as I remember being, ask her to help and get that appointment first.

Once your mind can process life in a more manageable manner, you will be able to find a therapist, going to meetings if they are for you, and taking a pro active role in managing your depression, with the help of your wife.

It's something that needs constant managing, but you can feel less sad,

It sounds exactly like what we went through, and life is not bad any more.

LegacyUser

OP here.

I have an appointment with a GP sorted, and also an appointment with a psychotherapist for some counselling.

Thanks all for your replies.

pilly

Lightnin' Hopkins wrote: »

OP here.

I have an appointment with a GP sorted, and also an appointment with a psychotherapist for some counselling.

Thanks all for your replies.

Fair play to you, you're on the right road anyway.

December2012

That's great. You’ll feel better by doing something about it - hopefully a feeling of control

Yellow pack crisps

Best of luck OP. You're a brave guy for meeting it head on, well done.