Should I pay for their taxis?

LightlyGo

So, recently my dad has been in a car accident and has been in hospital, and will be in hospital, for some time. His siblings are visiting from time to time. Just a day or two and they stay in my home. The thing is they seem to feel that as they're visiting I ought to be covering their expenses, so if they're going to the hospital for example, which is ten mins away, if I am at work and can't drive, they ask me for the price of their taxis.
I don't resent this too much as I want my dad to be happy and feel cared for right now but at the same time I've gone to visit people in bad circumstances and not expected to be paid for having done so.
I'm not really sure if I'm wrong to be a little taken aback or if it's perfectly reasonable that I should be covering all this. I guess I wanted an opinion on what is normal in these situations.

Ninja_Go

LightlyGo wrote: »

<Snip> Please don't repost the entire post.

Next time they plan to come, tell them in advance that you will no longer be able to pay for their taxis, so if they're coming they need to budget for their own taxis. Totally ridiculous that they would expect the money from you.

strandroad

I would never expect to have my taxi costs covered in such circumstances. You can pay it if you want to be super kind... but if it happens again they'll expect it too!

Rubberchikken

Do they work?
I ask because if they do then they should be perfectly capable of paying for taxis themselves.
Some people take advantage of those with a generous nature. Not nice but it happens.
You could just say that you're not in a position to pay next time it happens.
If they're elderly certain elderly people can expect younger people to pay for things for them.
At the end of the day only you can decide if it's worth taking up with them.
Hope your dad is on the mend soon.

tickingclock

Completely agree with previous posters. I'd never expect someone to pay.

Dial Hard

Absolutely no way you should be paying for their taxis. They have a relationship with your dad that's entirely independent of you, they're not there because you asked them to be.

You're already putting them up. My.mind genuinely boggles at the sense of entitlement of some people.

dobman88

Lol. Tell them you need to charge them to stay in your house, use your electricity, eat your food, invade your space or tell them to stay in a local hotel. See what's cheaper. I'd just tell them to gtfo and pay their own taxi. Proof that people are indeed total idiots

RhubarbCrumble

Absolutely not! They're already staying with you I'm assuming at no cost and now they expect you to pay for their taxis as well. Definitely not.

Dadzilla

We don’t know your full family circumstances but wow, having your dad’s siblings expect you to pay their taxis is outrageous. They should be offering their support to you as his son!

Hope your dad gets better soon.

FishOnABike

You're providing them with free accommodation for two or three days at a time whenever they want and they're expecting you pay taxi fares for them on top of that !!!

I don't think I'd have a neck thick enough or I'd be too embarrassed to ask.

If I was in the same position I'd be embarrassed if I didn't have some token gift of appreciation for putting me up for a few days and if it was a regular occurrance, something like a gift voucher for a meal out in your favourite restaurant once in a while.

They've got a huge sense of entitlement.

Kyle More

No, you should not be expected to cover the cost of transport for your father's siblings to visit him in hospital. One would assume that they want to see him, so why should they expect to be compensated (for want of a better word) at your expense? Also, from reading your post, I'm guessing that you're providing them with free bed and board for the duration of their stay?

lazybones32

Your aunt/uncle want you to pay for them to visit their own brother in hospital?
If they are oap's does the free travel cover dublin bus?
Giving them bed and board is expected in many situations and is sufficiently generous but to pay for their travels to/from the hospital is too much, unless they don't have the money and don't have use of their legs.

Airyfairy12

No! theyre completely taking advantage of you and putting you in an awful position. Theyre not doing you a favor! if they dont want to spend time with your dad then they should leave, youre not responsible for them. Id be telling them to go find accommodation closer to the hospital if the distance is an issue for them. The neck of some people.

kylith

Their brother is in the hospital and they're expecting you to shell out for taxis after all the worry about your father after the accident? That's shameful behaviour on their part, the brazen cheek of them!

questionmark?

I honestly cannot believe that they are asking you to pay for their taxis to see their own brother in hospital. OP you are being taken for a ride, do not pay for their taxis and tell them to chip in around the house as well I. E. Buy some food, do some cleaning, cook some dinners etc. That's what normal decent people would do! Jesus I can't believe that you were even put in this situation.

suicide_circus

They are abusing you. The neck on some people is breathtaking. Do not, under any circumstances, pay for any more of their taxis. And tell them the cost of staying at yours is now 50 per night. Cheek of them.

GingerLily

That's really disgusting, what horrible people to take advantage of you

zoobizoo

Would love to have heard the conversation when they first brought it up....

I'd be mortified asking a relation for money like that.

silverharp

nothing to add but just find it bizarre, my parents generation would be more like the Fr Ted scene where the women get into a fight wanting to pay for the other's lunch. You have some serious oddball relations there

pilly

The amount of people jumping up and down and saying charge them for accommodation. For gods sake we don't know the full story.

There obviously was some kind of conversation about it in the first place so I'd like to hear what that was before calling people disgusting and entitled.

Maybe they don't have any money. If there OAP's a pension wouldn't cover many taxis.

And if it was volunteered the first time they might have just assumed it was okay. We don't the full details.

House and hospital may not be on a bus route. All sorts of factors would be at play here.

I know I've one aunt who can't walk far and if I can't pick her up for any occasion we have then I'll send a taxi for her because I know she won't come otherwise because she hasn't got the money for the taxi.

LightlyGo

pilly wrote: »

The amount of people jumping up and down and saying charge them for accommodation. For gods sake we don't know the full story.

There obviously was some kind of conversation about it in the first place so I'd like to hear what that was before calling people disgusting and entitled.

Maybe they don't have any money. If there OAP's a pension wouldn't cover many taxis.

And if it was volunteered the first time they might have just assumed it was okay. We don't the full details.

House and hospital may not be on a bus route. All sorts of factors would be at play here.

I know I've one aunt who can't walk far and if I can't pick her up for any occasion we have then I'll send a taxi for her because I know she won't come otherwise because she hasn't got the money for the taxi.

I would too in that situation, as I say I havent resented it exactly because I want to do everything to make my dad comfortable and happy and feel loved and supported. In that sense it's not a high price....but it does strike me as odd. It's not what I'd do or my family would do.

They are in their 60s, retired from good jobs, school principals etc, so I'd say they are wealthy enough. It seems like a point of principal with them.

I'm grateful for the answers, I'll try and do a better job at standing up a little more or making suggestions like taking the bus or how it's not a long walk.

selectamatic

Retired principals?

This has to be a wind up...

If not tell them to get fcuked.

SterlingArcher

selectamatic wrote: »

Retired principals?

This has to be a wind up...

If not tell them to get fcuked.

It's all about the principles for the principals. Those princely pals rocking up to the taxi using a mix of gold cane with diamond tiger handle and chrome zimmer frames.

rustynutz

Teachers and Guards, the most miserable, penny pinching people you are likely to encounter, in my opinion of course.

con___manx1

Not a hope in hell you should be paying for there taxi. Its there choice to go and visit.
I really cant understand people like that. I just wouldnt have the neck for that craic.

Im giving a guy a lift to work for the forseable future from next week.
He has been on a different shift to me and iv been informed he is really bad at giving petrol money. If he doesnt give it to me i wont be picking him up the scabby prick.

Buckfast W

<Snip>

As for the OP tell them to go and take a running jump. If they can afford to visit your father (and it seems they can) let it be out of their own pocket.

RhubarbCrumble

rustynutz wrote: »

Teachers and Guards, the most miserable, penny pinching people you are likely to encounter, in my opinion of course.

From my experience, you can add farmers to that list.

Ghekko

Put the foot down next time they announce a visit. Leave a list of bus timetables for them. Do not leave or offer money for taxis. If they ask for it (cringe) tell them you just cannot afford anymore taxi rides. When my mum was in hospital our aunt visited a few times - having paid a hackney driver for over an hours journey - and proceeded to give us money to help as we were spending so much time at the hospital. Grant it mum was dying so it wasnt going to drag on, but it was a lovely gesture. We gave it back to her after the funeral as we didn't need it.

woodchuck

No, you shouldn't pay for their taxis. It would be a nice thing to do if they were frail and/or broke, but otherwise they're just being cheeky.

If you want to avoid confrontation with them, maybe the next time they ask, just say you don't have any cash on you, but give them the taxi number if they want to pay for it themselves. Hopefully they'll get the hint!

December2012

Just a question: are they visiting your Dad instead of you?

How did this start?

LightlyGo

December2012 wrote: »

Just a question: are they visiting your Dad instead of you?

How did this start?

Not instead of me no, I've had to go back to work so I can't be there all the time though. I've set him up with his books and ipad etc and ring a few times in the day to see if he needs anything, visit in the evening. They have volunteered to come and see him so come every week or two, visit him, see friends, go around town, that sort of thing. There's only 2 visiting hours in the day for normal patients. The early days I was able to stay all day as he needed me.

December2012

Then they are way out of line expecting you to fund their visits to their own brother.

BTW I hope your Dad is doing well and recovering soon.

foxatron

What principle is that? Being a tightarse?