Complaint about doctor.

mickmac76 · 24-10-2017 9:32am #1

Hi
Two years ago I was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I attend one of the major Dublin hospitals on a regular basis. I moved back home with my parents last year as I can't carry out every day tasks on my own. I also receive home help provided by the HSE. Yesterday one of the doctors who I see in Dublin contacted my parents to discuss if I needed additional home help. Over the last several visits the doctor has asked me if I require further home help and I have always said no as I feel that I do not require further help at this time. On my last visit to the hospital I asked the doctor to stop discussing my condition with my family until she talked to me first as they have a tendency to freak out at any change in my symptoms and I have to listen to them going on about it for several weeks which I find quite stressful.

The doctor has now gone against my direct instructions by talking to them first and my family are now going on about additional home help even though there is nothing for them to do. Do I have grounds to complain about the doctors actions and is there any point in complaining. I just feel that decisions are being made behind my back without me being consulted and I am the actual patient after all. I do believe that both the doctor and my family mean well but I don't know what they are saying about me as I am not included in these discussions.

Mick

Dr Brown · 24-10-2017 4:35pm

The Doctor has broken your confidentiality so I would imagine you would have a very good case against them.

But don't expect much from the Irish Medical Council they are a joke who protect Doctors. Your best bet is to get a solicitor who will work on a no win no fee basis.

mickmac76 · 24-10-2017 5:39pm

Dr Brown wrote: »

The Doctor has broken your confidentiality so I would imagine you would have a very good case against them.

But don't expect much from the Irish Medical Council they are a joke who protect Doctors. Your best bet is to get a solicitor who will work on a no win no fee basis.

Thanks but I don't really want to sue my doctor. I want them to stop discussing my illness with my family members.

I love Sean nos · 24-10-2017 5:45pm

mickmac76 wrote: »

Thanks but I don't really want to sue my doctor. I want them to stop discussing my illness with my family members.

Send him a letter stating that if he discusses your condition with anyone else but you without your consent, then you will complain to the Medical Council. Also ask him whether he has received the letter at your next appointment. That makes it clear for all.

Wesser · 24-10-2017 7:18pm

What age are you?

mickmac76 · 24-10-2017 7:40pm

Wesser wrote: »

What age are you?

39

Wesser · 24-10-2017 7:58pm

Right ok. I would just write in a letter to say that s not on and don't ever do that again. No need to go to the medical council as that will probably get you no where.

Wesser · 24-10-2017 7:58pm

Right ok. I would just write in a letter to say that s not on and don't ever do that again. No need to go to the medical council as that will probably get you no where.

EndaHonesty · 24-10-2017 8:02pm

Your doctor is doing the right thing.

You are living in the care of your parents.

They are the carers.

They need to know what is happening.

If you wanted to keep secrets you shouldn't have moved back into their house.

Wesser · 24-10-2017 8:08pm

Rubbish. Just because he needs help does not mean that people can talk over him or make decisions for him or ignore him . What century are you living in.

njs030 · 24-10-2017 8:12pm

EndaHonesty wrote: »

Your doctor is doing the right thing.

You are living in the care of your parents.

They are the carers.

They need to know what is happening.

If you wanted to keep secrets you shouldn't have moved back into their house.

Not at all true.
My daughter has a chronic illness and I'm her main carer, when she turned 18 she had to write a letter to her GP allowing the GP to discuss her care with me.
With any consultants they have to ask her permission before discussing anything with me.

Once you're an adult it's nothing to do with anyone else and the doctor is breaching confidentiality laws by doing so. I'd second the suggestion of writing to the doctor and asking them to stop and saying you will complain to the medical council if they don't.

EndaHonesty · 24-10-2017 8:13pm

Wesser wrote: »

Rubbish. Just because he needs help does not mean that people can talk over him or make decisions for him or ignore him . What century are you living in.

A century where a 39 year old man moves home to be cared for by his parents. But does not want the parents knowing everything about his condition.

What kind of person does this and then tries to stop the doctor from telling them everything?

If he wanted confidentiality he would've stayed away.

If he wants private care let him pay for it and leave his parents in peace.

EndaHonesty · 24-10-2017 8:15pm

notjustsweet wrote: »

Not at all true.
My daughter has a chronic illness and I'm her main carer, when she turned 18 she had to write a letter to her GP allowing the GP to discuss her care with me.
With any consultants they have to ask her permission before discussing anything with me.

Once you're an adult it's nothing to do with anyone else and the doctor is breaching confidentiality laws by doing so. I'd second the suggestion of writing to the doctor and asking them to stop and saying you will complain to the medical council if they don't.

What age is your daughter now?

Has she ever lived away from home?

Vela · 24-10-2017 8:15pm

EndaHonesty wrote: »

Your doctor is doing the right thing.

You are living in the care of your parents.

They are the carers.

They need to know what is happening.

If you wanted to keep secrets you shouldn't have moved back into their house.

Are you for real? He is very much entitled to the same confidentiality that everyone else should expect from their doctor.

OP, write and post a letter informing your doctor that he has breached your patient rights and that he cannot speak with anyone in your family about your condition.

Vela · 24-10-2017 8:17pm

EndaHonesty wrote: »

A century where a 39 year old man moves home to be cared for by his parents. But does not want the parents knowing everything about his condition.

What kind of person does this and then tries to stop the doctor from telling them everything?

If he wanted confidentiality he would've stayed away.

If he wants private care let him pay for it and leave his parents in peace.

He has a terminal illness. You know what that means, right? The man is dying.

Have a bit of understanding and empathy.

Michelle_b · 24-10-2017 8:19pm

First off OP im sorry to hear you are going through such difficult time. Prayers to you.

I think send an email or letter like suggested saying that you want all communication directed to you like previously discussed. You are in position to decide your current needs still and while you appreciate they are trying to help you you have already asked for this to be done and on whatever date your parents were contacted which has left you upset in an already difficult situation. Please respect my wishes and this is not to happen again. You will communicate with your family your medical or home needs they are not to. They are your doctor and communicate with you solely.

Like you have said they meant well and you don't want take legal route however it looks like you need to put it in writing. They don't mean to breach confidentiality I think they are just trying to ensure you are comfortable as possible

Gremlinertia · 24-10-2017 8:27pm

Enda, err to the side of caution here, doctor's are bound by strict rules and cannot discuss a patient's health with any other person unless explicitly directed by the patient themselves

EndaHonesty · 24-10-2017 8:30pm

Deleted post

Gremlinertia · 24-10-2017 8:39pm

Right, thread cleaned up, please continue

hgfj · 24-10-2017 8:41pm

Previous content deleted so i'll get rid of this as it quotes content, sorry about that..

wordofwarning · 24-10-2017 8:51pm

Vela wrote: »

He has a terminal illness. You know what that means, right? The man is dying.

Have a bit of understanding and empathy.

You are getting one side of the story. It would be interesting to see what the other side of it is ie the Doctors.

I am going to try and be as sensitive as possible. We don't know what OP's condition is. It could be affecting his judgement or memory. It is possible that the Doctor has to relay information to his carers. Would you say a Doctor caring for a patient with alzheimer's is doing their job poorly if they relied info to the patients carers?

OP might not be of sound mind due to his illness and the doctor is communicating what is required for his well being. Doctors just don't break confidentiality for fun.

Gremlinertia · 24-10-2017 8:54pm

We can only go by what we are being told here.. You may have valid points but we do not know..

LegacyUser · 24-10-2017 9:11pm

As stated,you can put in writing your request for confidentiality to each doctor responsible for your care.If you feel that this will be ignored you can contact the Registrar of the hospital and make an informal /formal that the doctor(s) obey your wishes.The next step is to write to Medical Director of the area where the hospital is located.

mickmac76 · 24-10-2017 9:26pm

wordofwarning wrote: »

You are getting one side of the story. It would be interesting to see what the other side of it is ie the Doctors.

I am going to try and be as sensitive as possible. We don't know what OP's condition is. It could be affecting his judgement or memory. It is possible that the Doctor has to relay information to his carers. Would you say a Doctor caring for a patient with alzheimer's is doing their job poorly if they relied info to the patients carers?

OP might not be of sound mind due to his illness and the doctor is communicating what is required for his well being. Doctors just don't break confidentiality for fun.

Your point are well taught out and I thank you for that but my thinking is not impaired in any way. Thanks everyone for the advice. I will ring the doctor tomorrow and follow it up with a written communication.

Michelle_b · 24-10-2017 9:29pm

mickmac76 wrote: »

Your point are well taught out and I thank you for that but my thinking is not impaired in any way. Thanks everyone for the advice. I will ring the doctor tomorrow and follow it up with a written communication.

Best of luck OP. Hopefully you reiterating it again and emailing the doctor saying to confirm all communication directly to you they will fully understand and won't do it again. Take care and positive thoughts and prayers being sent

Vela · 24-10-2017 10:40pm

mickmac76 wrote: »

Your point are well taught out and I thank you for that but my thinking is not impaired in any way. Thanks everyone for the advice. I will ring the doctor tomorrow and follow it up with a written communication.

For what it's worth, I'm very sorry to hear you're dealing with a terminal illness in the first place; I can't imagine how difficult that is. I can also see that you're only thinking of your family and preventing further worry for them. That's a sign of a very strong person. I really hope you have at least one person you can talk to in full disclosure about what you're going through, but if not then I hope you'll continue to post here if/when you need to.

All the best.

muminpajamas · 01-11-2017 2:11am

Hi Mick, sorry to resurrect this thread as it is a few days old now but I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been in the same situation: terminal cancer diagnosis, excessive and inappropriate home help, and a doctor who seemed far more interested in what my Mother had to say about the situation when I really needed to be heard. My home help was not what I needed at all, in fact I would have paid good money to get rid of them. It is indeed horrible when you are not listened to re your own care. I am still battling the system to get what I need and nobody who is terminally ill should be put under that additional stress. I hope you are doing better and your complaint letter has helped communicate your needs. Don't give up. Take care.

mickmac76 · 01-11-2017 1:13pm

muminpajamas wrote: »

Hi Mick, sorry to resurrect this thread as it is a few days old now but I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been in the same situation: terminal cancer diagnosis, excessive and inappropriate home help, and a doctor who seemed far more interested in what my Mother had to say about the situation when I really needed to be heard. My home help was not what I needed at all, in fact I would have paid good money to get rid of them. It is indeed horrible when you are not listened to re your own care. I am still battling the system to get what I need and nobody who is terminally ill should be put under that additional stress. I hope you are doing better and your complaint letter has helped communicate your needs. Don't give up. Take care.

Hi

Thanks for the words of support. In the end no letter has been necessary so far. I had a sit down meeting with just me my nurse and my doctor no family present at the insistence of my nurse. The doctor apologized for over stepping the mark and promised to talk to me first before talking to the family and I'm happy with that because she is a sound lady who tries to help in any way she can. Also my home help is brilliant and a good laugh.

Sorry to hear about your experience with your care. Have you tried complaining and getting a different carer. It might just be that you don't gel with the current person. It doesn't help that your doctor seems to be a bit of a pain.

muminpajamas · 07-11-2017 2:42pm

Hi Mick, thanks for the reply. So glad to hear things are working out for you especially since you were able to talk to the doctor. I'm going to take a break from the home help for a bit and maybe try a new person as it might work out better. As for complaining I may have to wait a few weeks before I find the energy! Best of luck and take care.

Complaint about doctor.

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