Generalised Anxiety Disorder

AnxiousAnnie

I have a diagnosis of severe Generalised Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I suffered from Panic Disorder in the past but, thankfully, I don’t get panic attacks anymore. I am 20 and in college and am doing better in life than I have done any time in the past 5 years.
Despite this, my anxiety still makes a huge impact on my life on a daily basis. Although I am effectively ‘functioning’ now, and am out in the world, there are certain things that are holding me back and that I am finding very difficult to overcome.
The most significant barrier is my anxiety surrounding the bathroom. Spending time in the bathroom, regardless of whether or not I needed to pee was a way to pass time at lunch when I was being bullied in school. It became a safety behaviour, and got to the point that I would always go to the bathroom at break time and lunchtime, or whenever I was going out, or if I was about to go in the car etc. Basically, I got into the habit of going at every opportunity ‘just in case’ I would find myself in a situation where there was no bathroom. Don’t bother asking me for the logic behind this. I was going through a lot and I suppose this was a way in which the anxiety manifested itself.
As my anxiety worsened, I got to the stage where I would worry about leaving the bathroom in case I wasn’t finished and in case I would still need to pee when I left. This was particularly bad when I was heading straight from the bathroom to the car, a class, a doctor’s appointment or another situation where I felt ‘trapped’ due to the lack of a bathroom. Even though I have overcome panic attacks, depression and a whole lot more, this is one thing that won’t go away.
When I go in, just to pee, it will be on average 20-30 minutes before I can come out if I’m in college, out and about etc. It’s not unusual however for me to be in a cubicle for over an hour as I can’t leave. I try to go to the bathrooms in college that are the quietest and have the most cubicles so nobody will notice. At home, if I’m not about to leave the house and there is no imminent threat or potential of feeling trapped, it can take between 5 and 30 minutes. If I’m going out it could be between 20 mins and an hour and 20 mins depending on how far I’m going and whether or not it will be practical to go into the bathroom as soon as I arrive.
Compared to past times, in the last few months I have not been needing to go to the bathroom as often, but I’ve been taking longer because I know that it’ll be longer and I’ll do much more before I’m back in a bathroom again.
When I am in the bathroom, I cannot get up until I get a certain ‘gut feeling’ that it’s ok and I can leave. Until that happens, I cannot get up, as if I’m paralysed by fear.
To anyone who has not experienced this kind of crippling anxiety, my difficulties will seem strange, weird, funny or incomprehensible. The reasoning for the bathroom tying in to all this, I think, goes back to the days when I was being bullied and isolated, but regardless of why I’m in this situation, the reality is that I am and I need help. I have tried lots of things to ‘crack’ this, and though these techniques may sometimes result in getting out of the bathroom in between 8 and 12 minutes, I feel I’m missing something, and maybe someone out there has the necessary piece to let me overcome this and really live my life.
If you think you can help or have any suggestions, please reply.

skooterblue2

Exactly who do you have this diagnosis from? A registered psychologist or your GP?

I was told I had General Anxiety Disorder and to take the pills and feck off and attend HSE mental health services, apparently I had misdiagnosed ASD/HFA/Aspergers. Total cock up. It took about 6 years until I sought treatment until my sister went and got me a proper psychologist. Dont depend on the HSE/College to get you a diagnosis.

I have had my diagnosis (cost 550 by a notable psychologist) thrown across the table by my GP, "Hisss that's not it". Then I saw the same GP spell aspergers wrong, didnt know what the National Learning Network was for and then had to have me spell it for her.... Jesus wept.

My current GP told me it was unusual for an Adult to get Autism in their mid 30's and "Didnt kids grow out of it?". Then he asked me what I wanted prescribed. Our medical system is desperately failing us.

What I am saying is that I think GAD is a general umbrella term and "shure we will just throw medication at it". A private diagnosis for me was well worth the money. Doctors know far from everything and the new batch that cannot tell an ankle from an elbow are a holy show.

AnxiousAnnie

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Exactly who do you have this diagnosis from? A registered psychologist or your GP?

I was told I had General Anxiety Disorder and to take the pills and feck off and attend HSE mental health services, apparently I had misdiagnosed ASD/HFA/Aspergers. Total cock up. It took about 6 years until I sought treatment until my sister went and got me a proper psychologist. Dont depend on the HSE/College to get you a diagnosis.

I have had my diagnosis (cost 550 by a notable psychologist) thrown across the table by my GP, "Hisss that's not it". Then I saw the same GP spell aspergers wrong, didnt know what the National Learning Network was for and then had to have me spell it for her.... Jesus wept.

My current GP told me it was unusual for an Adult to get Autism in their mid 30's and "Didnt kids grow out of it?". Then he asked me what I wanted prescribed. Our medical system is desperately failing us.

What I am saying is that I think GAD is a general umbrella term and "shure we will just throw medication at it". A private diagnosis for me was well worth the money. Doctors know far from everything and the new batch that cannot tell an ankle from an elbow are a holy show.

Thank you for sharing your experience. My diagnosis is from a registered private Psychiatrist who would be well respected, and it fits my symptoms well, so I do feel that it is accurate.
However, I too had to resort to going private due to waiting lists etc, and probably lost some time in between which wasn’t ideal.