Child constantly faking being sick.

SurlyBoy

Hi all,

Disgruntled primary teacher looking for advice.

I have a 6th class boy who will fake illness or injury as soon as he is challenged during the school day. He has succeeded in duping me once this year as I sent him home genuinely believing he was sick but complaints since then have included losing his sight, abdominal pain to the extent that he was clutching his side and faking melodramatically not being able to walk. I am at the end of my tether and have told him outright that I don't believe him and that he is not going home, but it persists. He is also argumentative which wastes even more time.

His mother buys his dishonesty and it is clear he is on the spoiled side of things.

It is a complete waste of my and the other children's time. I have to ignore him now, and at the very least he might get away with doing no work which is unacceptable.

It may or may not be relevant that he is a traveling boy.

He is able and affable and brings valuable input to all lessons he participates in, but predominantly requires far too much attention and wastes far too much time. It is starting to affect the other children so I have to think of my collective, but I care deeply about the boy himself missing out on vital education also.

I have implemented a long list of measures to encourage his participation. I act as if they are whole class, but they are entirely for him. These include sportsperson of the week/month/year awards, a golden-time achieving system, allowing him ten minutes football practice with a classmate of his choosing if he is in the line on time each morning. The HSCL of the school also brings him to football training with the other school in the Parish on the condition that he behaves. None of the other children were offered this experience.

These have all been positive encouragement as I am holding off negative consequences because I am concerned about him then associating school entirely negatively. However I believe the time has come for him to experience negative consequences. As a teacher I have dealt with considerable behaviour issues over my five year career, but I primarily employ positive encouragement, so I would say the path ahead is not one I am experienced in. For starters anyway, he will not be attending football practice this week. I do not think of this in the same way as banning him from PE or art as I disagree entirely with that as a punishment, but since this is organised specifically for him and is not curricular as such, it makes sense that it would be removed from him as a consequence for poor behaviour.

While many issues surround this child's inclusion and participation, the faking illness one is the one I am most keen to stamp out.


Any advice welcome.

Thanks for reading.

judeboy101

Report to DLP, faking illness could be a means to avoiding particular persons/situations i.e my abuse alarms would be ringing

Teyla Emmagan

Why don't you just let him go home? Of course he will lose out but that's on his parents to resolve. If they see enough of him they'll curb his behaviour fast enough. Why are you wearing yourself out with him when you've other children who need your energy. You've done more than enough here. It's not on you to keep him in school. Let him off.

KaneToad

judeboy101 wrote: »

Report to DLP, faking illness could be a means to avoiding particular persons/situations i.e my abuse alarms would be ringing

I'd second this.

I remember faking illness in primary school to get away from particularly "creepy" singing teacher. 10 years later this same teacher had abuse allegations made & proven against him. Didn't know why I didn't like him, as he never did anything to me, but I just knew he was dodgy.

Not necessarily the same scenario in your case, obviously! However, there is likely an underlying reason.

SurlyBoy

KaneToad wrote: »

I'd second this.

I remember faking illness in primary school to get away from particularly "creepy" singing teacher. 10 years later this same teacher had abuse allegations made & proven against him. Didn't know why I didn't like him, as he never did anything to me, but I just knew he was dodgy.

Not necessarily the same scenario in your case, obviously! However, there is likely an underlying reason.

Thank you both for your very quick replies which are full of sense.

However the setting is particular, we are a multigrade, two-teacher school so anything like this would come to my attention very quickly. There are two class teachers, a couple of learning support teachers and SNAs and secretary and nothing would get past me. Additionally he is very frank, specific and not afraid to tell me if he dislikes or is arguing with an adult or fellow student. DLP is fully aware of situation and we're dealing with it this week so I said I'd come on here and see if I could find anything worthy of input.

The issue is that the child hates failing and fears being challenged. He simply does not want to do the work much of the time and would prefer to go home where he can be his own lord and pertain to the hobbies and activities he deems more deserving of his time.

He is excellent at practical tasks such as gardening or preparing for PE so I will usually choose him for these (along with other children who genuinely deserve to go) however his whole day cannot be spent doing these activities.

Thanks again for the replies.

5rtytry56

OP you're a primary teacher first and foremost. Not a social worker. Have you notified the principle?

Wesser

I think your aim is noble and worthwhile but I think fundamentally it will be in uphill struggle if his parents do not buy in.

judeboy101

SurlyBoy wrote: »

Thank you both for your very quick replies which are full of sense.

However the setting is particular, we are a multigrade, two-teacher school so anything like this would come to my attention very quickly. There are two class teachers, a couple of learning support teachers and SNAs and secretary and nothing would get past me. Additionally he is very frank, specific and not afraid to tell me if he dislikes or is arguing with an adult or fellow student. DLP is fully aware of situation and we're dealing with it this week so I said I'd come on here and see if I could find anything worthy of input.

The issue is that the child hates failing and fears being challenged. He simply does not want to do the work much of the time and would prefer to go home where he can be his own lord and pertain to the hobbies and activities he deems more deserving of his time.

He is excellent at practical tasks such as gardening or preparing for PE so I will usually choose him for these (along with other children who genuinely deserve to go) however his whole day cannot be spent doing these activities.

Thanks again for the replies.

"nothing gets past me".famous last words, OP, report in to DLP and let him/her make that call. If you are unhappy with that call you have the right to go to Tusla yourself.

Gerrup Outta Dat!

5rtytry56 wrote: »

OP you're a primary teacher first and foremost. Not a social worker. Have you notified the principle?

Who?

SurlyBoy

judeboy101 wrote: »

"nothing gets past me".famous last words, OP, report in to DLP and let him/her make that call. If you are unhappy with that call you have the right to go to Tusla yourself.

Duly noted. Will definitely keep this in mind. Appreciate your input!

SurlyBoy

5rtytry56 wrote: »

OP you're a primary teacher first and foremost. Not a social worker. Have you notified the principle?

Yes indeed. Principal is the DLP.

We are hopefully taking care of it this week, will update the thread.

Conelan

For what it's worth, my advice is ring his parents EVERY time. I know it would be time consuming and a hassle. If his parents have any wish to solve the issue they will do something or seek help to do something if they are being repeatedly called. I suggest ringing every time for the good of your own health as much as the child's. No matter how many times he "cries wolf" if there were to be just one occasion when he genuinely was ill and if the matter were to turn serious it would be your head on the block!!

5rtytry56

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

. Why are you wearing yourself out with him when you've other children who need your energy. You've done more than enough here. It's not on you to keep him in school..

i go with this.

wirelessdude01

Just keep ringing the parents and keep upsetting their plans by sending him home. They'll get sick of having him quick enough. You've enough to be doing without plaumasing this lad.

heldel00

I used to try and work out who was genuine and who was faking, thought i was doing parents a favour to be honest. One day a child vomited and i rang her mother. When "Mary" saw that classmate was getting to go home she decided she'd go too - BUT only after she insisted that she stayed for her lunch and got out to play in the yard!!!
Needless to say i didn't ring her mother but byjaysus did i get a dressing down from Mammy the next day! So ever since - home they go!

byhookorbycrook

You aren't a doctor . It sounds highly likely he is faking things , but not your call . I'd ask for a meeting with the parents and express your concerns .

Then if he persists in this , keep sending him home - but with work to finish .If the parents allow him to keep getting away with it - and the work isn't getting done , not much else you can do on that front .

I would be sure to talk to your designated liaison person and outline your concerns too.

justfillmein

not a teacher.
if he is from a travelling family it could be that he is not getting enough/any support at home with his work, and maybe he isn't confident in his own abilities. could he be offered any extra resources?

Shemale

Im not a teacher either but is it possible he is looking for attention and by you bending over backwards with the awards and giving him things for being in line in time he is getting it.

Some kids just want attention so whether its good ie praise and rewards or bad ie I dont believe you are sick it doesnt matter.

You could try giving him little or no attention for a day and see how he is

SurlyBoy

Thank all for replies, wise words and advice.

Ignoring appears to be most successful. Had an intervention with parents where this was discussed but hypochondria persisted but I would wave it off verbally (ie "you'll be fine in five minutes." or "it will pass") or ignore it, and it hasn't been a problem for weeks now.