not sure how to react..

Lemonee_

hey guys, so a close friend of my partners is moving to another country and is having a going away party this evening. It's nothing big, just heading to local town. I know that all the other lads girlfriends are going but my partner never asked me and he implied I wouldn't be going. Now I know these people as friends and often we would be out in a group together. So am I being silly, or do I have reason to be annoyed as everyone else is going?

AndyBoBandy

I’d say you have every reason to be annoyed.

Pretty much your entire circle of friends are going, except you.

That’s not right

Lemonee_

AndyBoBandy wrote: »

I’d say you have every reason to be annoyed.

Pretty much your entire circle of friends are going, except you.

That’s not right

thank you, I wasn't sure if I was being ridiculous or not! I'll leave it alone for tonight and discuss it tomorrow with him

Witchie

Did you ask him why you couldn't go?

Seems strange to me.

Lemonee_

Witchie wrote: »

Did you ask him why you couldn't go?

Seems strange to me.

I didn't ask directly, he just said to me that "oh we're all going out tonight for that party, I'll talk to you tomorrow". (that's the gist of it, he said who was going etc.)

XxMCRxBabyxX

Did you ask if you could come along?

You have every right to be annoyed if he's deliberately left you out.

Big Bag of Chips

Lemonee_ wrote: »

I didn't ask directly, he just said to me that "oh we're all going out tonight for that party, I'll talk to you tomorrow". (that's the gist of it, he said who was going etc.)

Maybe he assumed you wouldn't want to go. Maybe he assumed others weren't going. You're not really going to know unless you ask him. And if you'd like to go, then you're better off talking to him about it this evening rather than tomorrow. It's only 6.. there's plenty time to sort this out tonight rather than stewing all evening and then bringing it up tomorrow.

harr

Sounds odd
if you are all friends in a group I don’t see how he can stop you from going...were you both asked or was he asked on the presumption you would go?
If I was you I would ask why he doesn’t feel you should go but I definitely wouldn’t let it stop you if you know for sure the others wife’s/girlfriends are going....
Just make sure the other partners are going before making plans to turn up.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Maybe tomorrow isn't the time . I'd wait till Monday assuming he'll be in bits tomorrow. Hungover arguments are the worst

Katgurl

harr wrote: »

Sounds odd
if you are all friends in a group I don’t see how he can stop you from going...were you both asked or was he asked on the presumption you would go?
If I was you I would ask why he doesn’t feel you should go but I definitely wouldn’t let it stop you if you know for sure the others wife’s/girlfriends are going....
Just make sure the other partners are going before making plans to turn up.

I would not recommend the above advice at all! Definitely do not turn up on his night out uninvited. If a boyfriend did that to me, i would view it as clingy and highly unattractive.

Personally i would busy myself making plans for my own saturday night out elsewhere but ask him straight out and as non-confrontationally as you can manage why he didn't want you to come along.

harr

Katgurl wrote: »

I would not recommend the above advice at all! Definitely do not turn up on his night out uninvited. If a boyfriend did that to me, i would view it as clingy and highly unattractive.

Personally i would busy myself making plans for my own saturday night out elsewhere but ask him straight out and as non-confrontationally as you can manage why he didn't want you to come along.

But we don’t know if she wasn’t invited or not...for all we know the person who invited the boyfriend was presuming they would go as a couple seeing that they all hang around in a group it would be odd the invite excluded her..
So as it stands she is excluded from the party just because boyfriend does not want her to go...
I presume she is friendly enough with the other lads girlfriends to know they are all going...all I was suggesting was to tag along with them.
The person leaving might be expecting her to and might find rude she didn’t turn up for his leaving do...

Icepick

Useless assumptions ITT

Just ask him a direct question. The reasons may surprise you and help your relationship one way or another.

zoobizoo

How long are you going out?

Lemonee_

Thanks everyone for the replies, and sorry for not replying sooner. We are together 4 years which is also why it was strange to me and not usual behaviour. However, I made plans with another friend of mine and had a great night out with her. Still confused over his decision but don't want to make a big deal of it either.

harr

Lemonee_ wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the replies, and sorry for not replying sooner. We are together 4 years which is also why it was strange to me and not usual behaviour. However, I made plans with another friend of mine and had a great night out with her. Still confused over his decision but don't want to make a big deal of it either.

Glad you had a good night out after....have you asked him why ? If not are you going to ask ?
Personally it’s not something I could let go...

tara73

harr wrote: »

Glad you had a good night out after....have you asked him why ? If not are you going to ask ?
Personally it’s not something I could let go...

yes, you can tell yourself you don't want to make a big thing out of it but it will niggle away at you.

you opened a thread here, so this is serious to you. why can't you ask him about it? are you afraid of his reaction? will he blame you for making a fuss about it?

all this doesn't appears healthy, as all others suggested, you need to ask him why he needs to exclude you because that's what he did. and if you don't clear this now, it will most likely happen again in the near future.

Icepick

Lemonee_ wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the replies, and sorry for not replying sooner. We are together 4 years which is also why it was strange to me and not usual behaviour. However, I made plans with another friend of mine and had a great night out with her. Still confused over his decision but don't want to make a big deal of it either.

You should ask him. Having fun with someone else should not affect your opinion on how important it is.
Just don't project any assumptions when you ask and discuss the reasons.