What the biggest hurdle you have overcome as a couple?

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

biko

My constant cheating

Your Face

It was about 100cm.

harry Bailey esq

Bechers brook

Snotty

Her believing I was actually a good person during the first few months, by the time she realised what a c*nt I actually was, it was too late and we are together 20 years now.

finglashoop

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Bechers brook

Thats a fence not a hurdle.

Valentina

His family

harry Bailey esq

finglashoop wrote: »

Thats a fence not a hurdle.

The best fence in Dublin, we had to overcome lots of hurdles to shift those paintings.

Parents and Siblings hating the relationship and being suspicious of everything about it. To the point of some of them wanting me personally dead. Nearly broke us up a few times but they eventually came around and realised it was the real deal - and now we all could not be closer.

FortuneChip

Her.

ambro25

No biggest amongst them, but a fair few (in chronological order):

• different nationalities/first language/socio-economic backgrounds (and associated family reticence, mostly from mine, for a few years).
• age difference (I'm younger, single-digit years).
• 2 of the first 4 years together apart 600+ miles (incl. first year of marriage, due to national service).
• getting the sack together with loss of all income (both made pretty much unemployable, very niche jobs), with mortgage, car finance, etc. in the background...and then a week later she announces we're preggers.
• bad case of preeclampsia (sp?), very difficult birth.
• overseas move with 6-weeks old baby (she'd never expatriated, didn't gel with the situation too well over time).
• untimely loss of her brother through industrial accident (took her a good 3 years all told to get over that one, they were very close).
• Brexit (I'm EU, she's Brit)

I don't see any of these as huge as such (and I don't regard my expatriation for the past 23-ish years as a hurdle, I seem to have inherited the wandering/migration gene from my Dad's side), life shall always dispense its knocks...

...but I daresay perhaps not many modern(-ish) couples (40-somethings) would have made it through 24 years with all of the above.

And now looking positively at a new overseas move within the next 3 months, teenage kid in tow

fryup

doing the dishes ?

biko

So sashafierce, when does the article come out?

LirW

Long distance, then living with his parents for almost 1,5 years. They are lovely people but moving from your own place into someone else's home to save... was tough.
Now we have the home renovation, Saturday will be spent in a tile shop. He's gonna miss rugby. Secretly I pity him.

Hector Savage

Deleted User wrote: »

Parents and Siblings hating the relationship and being suspicious of everything about it. To the point of some of them wanting me personally dead. Nearly broke us up a few times but they eventually came around and realised it was the real deal - and now we all could not be closer.

Whoa whoa whoa !!

Need more details !!

_Dara_

Me being diagnosed with advanced cancer. It’s been tough and a little bit of the magic is forever lost but we’re still together and mostly happy.

fg1406

Me being diagnosed with depression and Generalised anxiety disorder which lead to me leaving dublin. He followed me and took a massive pay cut and we now live in his home town. I do feel pangs of guilt sometimes over putting him in that position but I was burnt out and couldn't cope with living in Dublin or that job anymore.

Wanderer78

fg1406 wrote:

Me being diagnosed with depression and Generalised anxiety disorder which lead to me leaving dublin. He followed me and took a massive pay cut and we now live in his home town. I do feel pangs of guilt sometimes over putting him in that position but I was burnt out and couldn't cope with living in Dublin or that job anymore.

I have suffered with the same for many years, it's not a particularly nice illness, but fair play to him. I wouldn't be able for Dublin either. Best of luck to you.

Boom_Bap

How to fill the dishwasher.

mark_jmc

May 2015- My wife's mother passed away from cancer
June 2015- I was diagnosed with cancer
June 2015- same day as above while I was getting a CT scan to see how far my cancer had spread, my wife went for a 14 week pregnancy scan alone -the baby had no heartbeat (our 4th unsuccessful IVF attempt)


Life can really be Sh** at times but you have to deal with the bad times and really enjoy the good times

Hector Savage

Hector Savage wrote: »

Whoa whoa whoa !! Need more details !!

I had a brother - who was fully convinced my intentions towards his little sister were nefarious and exploitative - go for me in a couple of ways that could have been lethal if executed better and were certainly a violent attack intended to hurt.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Parents and Siblings hating the relationship and being suspicious of everything about it. To the point of some of them wanting me personally dead. Nearly broke us up a few times but they eventually came around and realised it was the real deal - and now we all could not be closer.

How does the dynamic with your family go from wanting you dead and breaking up your relationship to now being very close?

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

How does the dynamic with your family go from wanting you dead and breaking up your relationship to now being very close?

Two things really.

Time was one. It is easy to see a new relationship as sexually exploitative or dodgy. But when time passes - everyone in the relationship just keeps getting happier and going from strength to strength - and they clearly support each other through good times and bad and so forth - then the illusion is harder to maintain. We soldiered through and instead of responding in kind we simply represented ourselves well.

Children was the other. They are a great unifier. And when we first went down the road of pregnancy this unified us in a new way especially the grandparents.

I realise that it was a mix of luck and us doing the right things at the right time. There are others in relationships that their family do not trust or approve of where the wrong move at the wrong time - a word said - an action made - or just bad luck - and the relationship ends up irretrievable. I cherish what we have now - as hard won as it was.

LCD

Infertility, multiple failed IVFs

Sgt Hartman

I've been with my partner 2 years now and the start of the year was definitely the most challenging for both of us. I finally came out to my parents and siblings about the relationship as it was actually a secret relationship in Dublin that my family in Limerick didn't know about. it was either that or risk having no future with my partner as he would have had to return to Brazil. Luckily my family took it well, except for my Dad who is still trying to get his head around it. But thankfully we moved on and my partner and I are now finally able to plan a future together

mark_jmc

mark_jmc wrote: »

June 2015- same day as above while I was getting a CT scan to see how far my cancer had spread, my wife went for a 14 week pregnancy scan alone -the baby had no heartbeat (our 4th unsuccessful IVF attempt)

LCD wrote: »

Infertility, multiple failed IVFs

I'm as bad as the next for being glib on AH, but once every now and again I read a post that makes me go "oh Jesus".

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

LadyMacBeth_

The basin in the kitchen sink has been our biggest cultural difference. After over six years together I told her last week she could take the basin out of the sink, I admitted defeat. I have never seen her so happy with herself.

Lux23

Losing a business, severe depression and a suicide attempt, loss of my father and then addiction/mental illness again. And we are only together five years - still, these things only account for a few months over those five years and we are very lucky in other ways.

Loveinapril

I was diagnosed with MS four years in and ended up very ill and out of work for a few years. It was a very challenging time as I had to become a different person. Six years later we got married and miscarried our first pregnancy. That was sh!t. But a few months later I got pregnant again and am due a baby next month. In all of the rubbish times, I have always been certain of my fella. I think we could get through anything.

razorblunt

Leaving the teabags in the kitchen sink and leaving the backgarden light on after the dog does her pre-bed business out there.

Honest to God, one of those will be the only reason we ever get divorced!

andekwarhola

Cyclonic flatulence.