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Thoughts on an ex

  • 03-10-2017 7:32pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I never post on personal issues about my own issues but my current thoughts & moods I find myself here looking for advice, some perspective on my situation.

    I am currently in a relationship just shy of two years and happy. We have our disagreements and arguments like every couple. There are times she can be quite immature when we're arguing over the most stupid of things which I have told her and she working on this but it still an issue for me, for example, she accuses me of messaging other girls and seems to have trust issues, she even admitted she doesn't trust me at times but I haven't given her a reason not to trust me. The last few months I have been having thoughts about an ex and I know this is wrong but it seems the more I think about her, the harder it is to just push those thoughts away. She did try to get in contact with me about a personal issue a while back and I ignored her, I never replied or responded back and I haven't' heard from her since which now I think I may be regretting not replying or trying to help her at a time she needed. I spoke to family members at the time and I was warned to stay clear by them.

    I haven't mentioned any of this to my current GF as I know what her reaction will be and rightly so too, I wouldn't be happy if the tables were turned.


Comments

  • #2
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Why did you and your ex break up? Who dumped who?
    Even though you say you and your girlfriend are happy, you've mentioned what I consider to be a very serious issue in any relationship. Trust. If you can't trust your partner, the mistrust becomes a cancer. Maybe your standards are different but there is no way I could stay in a relationship with someone with immaturity issues and who doesn't trust me. Perhaps these thoughts about your ex aren't necessarily harking back to the old days but your gut telling you this current relationship is wrong.


  • #3
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    You spoke to family members and were warned to stay clear: your or her family members?

    You can't help everyone who looks for it from you.


  • #4
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    lazybones32 wrote: »
    You spoke to family members and were warned to stay clear: your or her family members?

    You can't help everyone who looks for it from you.

    Why did they tell you to steer clear?


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ursus Horribilis wrote: »
    Why did they tell you to steer clear?

    I always try to see the good in everyone no matter what and if I can help in any way I do what I can.

    The family member warned me off because we were no longer together and I was in another relationship.


  • #6
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    NBSB wrote: »
    I always try to see the good in everyone no matter what and if I can help in any way I do what I can.

    The family member warned me off because we were no longer together and I was in another relationship.

    Then you did the right thing by staying away. If the ex still had feelings for you, you helping her would not have helped her in the long run. The family member was right.

    You sound lovely and caring and it's important to help out others when we can. Don't feel bad that you didn't help - you helped her more by staying away by the sounds of it.


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