Pre school having trouble with our child

duffysfarm

Our youngest child of 3 is in his second year of pre school. Our other 2 children went to a different pre school/creche which has since closed. We seem to be getting a lot of calls from the pre school about our child's behaviour but they seem to be very vague in what the issues are - some of the issues ard him not doing what hes told or gping to rsg his lunch early, one day he stood on his desk or he might go under it. When I pick him up from it they tell me he was on today etc but then the owner rings and says there was a problem (owner does mind him) they have rang us twice since he is back from the summer break. No i will admit that he is no Angel but he's only 4 and part of me thinks they are not fit to cope with him in the creche - some of the issues that they have highlighted while not been ideal are part of what kids will do. I just feel really frustrated with the pre school as to me the issues are not major and I would like to move pre school but don't want to run away from anything.

Moonbeam

Ask them to write it all down so you can discuss it with your PHN then if there are serious issue they will do it properly and if they are just moaning for the sake of it then you will see that too.

Big Bag of Chips

duffysfarm wrote: »

No i will admit that he is no Angel but he's only 4 and part of me thinks they are not fit to cope with him in the creche

You do need to bear in mind that they deal exclusively with that age group.

Rather than feeling they are "telling" on him you need to find a way to work with them. Parent teacher meetings in primary school for example are for the benefit of the students. Where teachers highlight areas of potential problems and inform the parents who can work with the school to steer the child in the right direction.

So you need to see this as you and the preschool working towards preparing your son for primary school. It's not you and him against them, it's you and them working together for him. When they ring you, ask questions. What did he do? What would he not do? How long did they have to spend convincing/coaxing him before he'd join in or do what he was told? Was he ok afterwards? Do they want you to talk to him? Do they want you to reinforce that he has to listen to his teachers and do what they say?

Yes, kids will be kids and will play up. But preschool workers are well used to that age group. And will know 'normal' behaviour. You might he sick of hearing 'every little thing'. But you might find they let a lot of 'little things' go, and tell you some of the bigger things.

You need to talk to the manager/teachers and find out what you can do to help.

duffysfarm

The biggest part of what annoys me us that I have been dropping him off and collecting him for 3 days a week for the past 4 weeks and they every day I ask how he was and no one has ever said one thing to me and then they ring my wife today!?

quote="Big Bag of Chips;104854101"]You do need to bear in mind that they deal exclusively with that age group.

Rather than feeling they are "telling" on him you need to find a way to work with them. Parent teacher meetings in primary school for example are for the benefit of the students. Where teachers highlight areas of potential problems and inform the parents who can work with the school to steer the child in the right direction.

So you need to see this as you and the preschool working towards preparing your son for primary school. It's not you and him against them, it's you and them working together for him. When they ring you, ask questions. What did he do? What would he not do? How long did they have to spend convincing/coaxing him before he'd join in or do what he was told? Was he ok afterwards? Do they want you to talk to him? Do they want you to reinforce that he has to listen to his teachers and do what they say?

Yes, kids will be kids and will play up. But preschool workers are well used to that age group. And will know 'normal' behaviour. You might he sick of hearing 'every little thing'. But you might find they let a lot of 'little things' go, and tell you some of the bigger things.

You need to talk to the manager/teachers and find out what you can do to help.[/quote]

grind gremlin

Perhaps the staff feel you don't take their concerns seriously (that's also the impression I get from your post). Perhaps they are contacting your wife to ensure she is aware of what is going on / in the hope she takes it more seriously.
Small behavioural issues that are not tackled at a young age often increase considerably as a child gets older.
From the childcare workers point of view..... making a big fuss of small issues often prevents much bigger issues from developing further down the line. The ratio in preschool is one adult to 11 children. It's important that children are behaving in a safe manner for their own sake and that of their peers. If it's ok for one child to stand on the desk, what happens when the other 10 children follow suit?

neris

talk to the creche manager/pre school teacher and see what her issues are and listen to what she says and dont be dismissive of what she says or take it as a joke. between you as parents and the pre school work together with the behaviour. Ive seen both sides in the last 2 years of parents who have worked with the creche and parents whove laughed off what the creche say as a joke. the child whos parents worked with and talked with the creche are now much happier, the child is happier and the creche are happy to have the kid around

Big Bag of Chips

When you drop him off tomorrow morning call one of the teachers aside. Tell him in front of the teacher that he has to be a good boy and he has to do what the teacher tells him. That you will be asking his teacher when you collect him and you hope she tells you good news. Keep the language simple, and light. Not giving out, not "warning" him. You're just getting him to make a promise to be good.

By doing this in front of the teacher he knows that you are both going to be talking to each other and he knows he can't get away with it playing one off the other.

You'll still have days where he'll be defiant and won't do what he's asked, but with consistency from you and the teachers it should happen less often.

mockingjay

Do you recognise any of these actions that he carries out in playschool at home or are these issues exclusive to playschool and do not happen at home? I think it would be worth asking the Manager to meet with both you and your partner at a certain time, away from the hustle and bustle of pick up time when conversations are rushed, and both of you go and discuss the issues and outline the boundaries expected from all parties for a four year old, they would see that you are taking it seriously and working with them. It would be a pity to move him if he has settled.

Rubberchikken

He may 'only' be 3/4 But if his behaviour is allowed continue then it doesn't bode well for primary school.

Maybe you both need to take the time to meet the people in the creche and talk and listen.
Sorting these issues out now will ensure that other issues down the line can be dealt with easier.