What should I do?

bell10

So I am in a bit of a dilemma! I'm pregnant with my boyfriend of 5 years things have been going fantastic for the last 2 years the first 3 years were hard because I brought with me a lot of trust issues due to past relationships! So i am pregnant and I've been feeling low on body confidence etc because my body is starting to grow and I'm normally a size 6 I'm now a 10 anyway to get to the point! Me and my partner have had a fantastic sex life but since I've gotten pregnant there is not much happening and I am not the one refusing! Anyway got it into my head today he is just not attracted to me anymore so and I know this is wrong on so many levels I checked his phone internet history to see if he has a low sex drive or was he watching porn which ment he wasn't attracted to me, to be honest I could not care less if he watched porn I'd watch it myself, anyway he was logged on to a cougar dating site that you just hook up with ladies and have one night stands I was distraught! So I approached him first apologising for checking his phone and then asked he laughed and said I just did that to see if you were checking my phone and I just signed up today!! Now I haven't given him a reason to think I mistrusted him for nearly two years now he does his thing and I do mine!! I just don't know what to think now and I'm freaking out because I'm pregnant and I feel sick with the stress of this! I don't want to go back to not trusting again! What should I do?? Please help me 😢😢

Clareman

Moving this from the Clare forum to the Relationship Issues forum as I feel it would be better suited here, please note the new charter that's in place if replying

retro:electro

He's clearly lying. "I did it to see would you check my phone". Oh please. How insulting.
Up to you what you want to do now but he's 100% lying.
He has also put you at risk of contacting an STI. It's imperative you get this checked out since you are pregnant.

bell10

anna080 wrote: »

He's clearly lying. "I did it to see would you check my phone". Oh please. How insulting.
Up to you what you want to do now but he's 100% lying.
He has also put you at risk of contacting an STI. It's imperative you get this checked out since you are pregnant.

Thanks Anna080 I appreciate this advice!

LegacyUser

I was in exactly the same situation as yourself. I was 5 months pregnant and I found my ex on websites and messaging girls asking to meet up. He said he was scared because he was going to be a dad so I let it go! Silly me.

Fast forward 9 years - every single year I found him joined up to dating sites, texting exes etc he always had excuses always blamed me, I was cold, I was distracted by our child. I worked too much etc.

I wasted years of my life just turning a blind eye to what he was doing. He swore blind he never cheated but he most certainly was trying his best. Anyway we broke up and he was with someone else in a couple of weeks. My child was so upset. Looking back it would have been much easier to walk away when I was pregnant than it was with an older child who could understand a lot of things and dealt with a lot of things they shouldnt have had to at that age.

Don't be me - my child is the best thing that ever happened to me but he most certainly didnt deserve the best years of my life.

Dixie Chick

So he has a pregnant partner with trust issues ..and he plays a trick on her to catch her looking at his phone.

So he either is a pr1ck as he has been refusing sex which has caused you concern or he is a liar. The amount of men who say these kind of things when caught would startle you, esp when you think you know them so well.

Awful either way

redfox123

Horrible, and he's lying. Get rid. Even in some parallel universe where this most unbelievable and ridiculous thing he did to 'see if you check his phone' is the truth, it is a horrible thing to do to you. All the best with your pregnancy, please turn to family and friends for all the support you're going to need.

lazybones32

That excuse about the cougar site is made up. Unless he is a practical joker who has done stuff like this before. But that really doesn't sound legit.

It doesn't mean he has cheated on you though. He could be just looking, with no intention of going down that route. Not every man likes sex with a pregnant woman, so don't take that personally.

Instead of convincing yourself about his actions/intentions, due to internet opinions, sit and talk with him. You are entitled to probe deeper and not have your concerns dismissed as a joke on his behalf.