speaking your mind in public

Andy From Sligo

Wife was in town today shopping, had to pop into post office. At the post office entrance this (I dont like to generalise but lets say Romanian) was selling the big issue, has been for years.

She said "good morning" to this middle aged lady in front of my wife and this lady starts effing and blinding to her and saying "you want to get off your arsé and get a proper job for yourself!"

a bit out of character for my wife because she is normally calm and wouldn't normally speak up said to the woman "she only being nice and said good morning to you, whats with all the abuse?" - to which the woman said to her "I dont want to give any effing money to her" - but my wife said "she wasn't asking for any money, she just said good morning is all"

So anyway the lady went on ahead into the post office and continued her effing and blinding rant at the post office counter - so my wife said are you still going on about it!

And the women goes "you should see what kind of car she has got , sure she's better off than me!" - so then my wife goes "you dont even know her, you dont know what is even going on in her life" and she goes, "She wants to get a job - I work! - and theres here she gets picked up in a lovely posh car" - there was no changing this ladies view, she had decided she was scum, and she wanted everyone to know about it by shouting at the top of her voice causing everyone to turn around. "she shouldnt even be begging outside the post office" she said, and my wife just said well thats a job for the post office to decide whether she should be there or not.

Double edged sword, I commended my wife for speaking up .. but then again I was saying she was lucky she didnt get decke'd by this other woman "I would like to see her try she said, i could have handled her!"

I dunno whether it sound like this woman who went on a rant was just having a bad day and taking it out on this woman selling the Big issue or maybe it was a bit of racism ... or jealousy because she had a better car than she had lol

Anyway, is it good to speak up these days in that kind of situation or just keep schtum?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Definitely speak up and if the woman outside the post office is like the one outside our post office then the woman who complained was right to voice her annoyance.

SafeSurfer

I have seen that lady with the big issue driving around in a 172 Range Rover.
Met her twice in Dublin airport going to the states.

Mark up on Big Issue must be serious.

Samaris

Tbh, I'd be inclined to speak up. No-one deserves to be effed and blinded at for saying "good morning", regardless of what grievances the woman may have felt she had with her. People do not deserve to be treated like that, and it can really help when someone else speaks up for you (actually getting an unexpected faceful of bile can be so off-putting that one doesn't know how to respond at all). When everyone stands around silently, even if you can feel that it's due to embarrassment rather than agreement, well, it hurts, you know?

Fair play to your wife. Doubt she made a blind bit of difference to the shouty wan, but the woman who got yelled at probably appreciated it.

If one has an issue with how Big Issue is being sold, it makes a lot more sense to go and phone the offices of BI, not lamp into a seller. Maybe you can be sure they're participating in a fraud, but you may also be wrong.

Andy From Sligo

SafeSurfer wrote: »

I have seen that lady with the big issue driving around in a 172 Range Rover.
Met her twice in Dublin airport going to the states.

Mark up on Big Issue must be serious.

would she be out in all weathers selling the BI if she was that well of and didnt need the money?

jamesbere

Better to speak up, fair play to your wife. Not enough people speak up nowadays.

Andy From Sligo

Andy From Sligo wrote: »

Wife was in town today shopping, had to pop into post office. At the post office entrance this (I dont like to generalise but lets say Romanian) was selling the big issue, has been for years.

She said "good morning" to this middle aged lady in front of my wife and this lady starts effing and blinding to her and saying "you want to get off your arsé and get a proper job for yourself!"
...

Fair play to your wife, I say. She did nothing wrong.

I'd probably have done similar, because when you see that kind of overt irrational, insulting behaviour in public, it's difficult not to intervene.

Then again, the best advice I have ever been given in life is "Everyone is fighting their own battles. Try not to be a cunt". That outspoken lady doesn't know what kind of battles the Romanian [?] woman is fighting, nor do any of us know what kind of battles the outspoken lady is fighting herself, that might have led to her lashing out.

drake70

Romanian or Romany Gypsy?

Stonedpilot

I've always spoke my mind life is too short not to (has got me in trouble I can tell ya!) but I'm Christian now and know to be coy and never hurtful.

Still speak my mind. Recently dude was rattling on about 'global warming' and how we are a threat to the planet in a class I do. I politely reminded him it's all a big swindle to bring in a global carbon tax (literally tax on breathing as we emit carbon exhaling!) and not to worry about it as the planet we outlive all of us, no point worrying about being a threat to it.

Andy From Sligo

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Fair play to your wife, I say. She did nothing wrong.

I'd probably have done similar, because when you see that kind of overt irrational, insulting behaviour in public, it's difficult not to intervene.

Then again, the best advice I have ever been given in life is "Everyone is fighting their own battles. Try not to be a cunt". That outspoken lady doesn't know what kind of battles the Romanian [?] woman is fighting, nor do any of us know what kind of battles the outspoken lady is fighting herself, that might have led to her lashing out.

true she might have had a bad experience from the one selling the magazine .. I doubt it though. It sounds to me listening to how it was played out that its part racism and part jealousy maybe? - unless if she was consistantly asking for money and blocking the entrance and being a general nuisance then shouty woman could be forgiven maybe

AMKC

What is the issue with that Big Issue magazine anyway?

Why can they not just sell there magazine in the shops like every other magazine?

Andy From Sligo

Sounds like my wife remained calm about it which was good and didnt resolve to name calling or swearing.

I was on a management course in the UK years ago - real eye opener it was. And if you have 2 shouty aggressive people you generally dont get anywhere . Its good to have one level headed person in the equation to try and calm things down rather than a slanging match

- if that fails .. bate the hell out of them LOL

SafeSurfer

Andy From Sligo wrote: »

SafeSurfer wrote: »

I have seen that lady with the big issue driving around in a 172 Range Rover.
Met her twice in Dublin airport going to the states.

Mark up on Big Issue must be serious.

would she be out in all weathers selling the BI if she was that well of and didnt need the money?

She obviously needs the money to fund her lavish lifestyle. Have you seen the amount of jewellery on her and the whiff of Chanel No.5. That's not cheap you know.

cml387

SafeSurfer wrote: »

She obviously needs the money to fund her lavish lifestyle. Have you seen the amount of jewellery on her and the whiff of Chanel No.5. That's not cheap you know.

If that's what Chanel No. 5 smells like it's off my Christmas list and no mistake.

benjamin d

AMKC wrote: »

What is the issue with that Big Issue magazine anyway?

Why can they not just sell there magazine in the shops like every other magazine?

It's a way to get homeless people working. "A hand up, not a handout."

It's a great idea IMO, I always buy one if I see a seller. The magazine itself is awful sh1te though.

uck51js9zml2yt

Zaria Disgusting Syllable wrote: »

Definitely speak up and if the woman outside the post office is like the one outside our post office then the woman who complained was right to voice her annoyance.

How do you know she's anything like the one you saw.
Do you generalise much.
And how are people so sure she's Romanian. Not all Roma are Romanian. In fact some are Czech and they work hard in regular jobs.
I know this because I know some of them.

Andy From Sligo

Andy From Sligo wrote: »

I was on a management course in the UK years ago - real eye opener it was. And if you have 2 shouty aggressive people you generally dont get anywhere . Its good to have one level headed person in the equation to try and calm things down rather than a slanging match

- if that fails .. bate the hell out of them LOL

Yeah. Bit OT, but when I was an intern in a retail bank a few years ago, I was the lacky who got sent downstairs to listen to the shouty/ 'I'll call Joe Duffy on ye' types.

It's a pointless exercise. The inevitable message is to listen to and acknowledge the person's complaint, regardless of how valid it is. On the other hand, the inevitable message to shouters is that shouting won't intensify or enhance your complaint. Some unfortunate staffer will just be sent over to absorb it, and make the exact same notes of the basic complaint.

enricoh

There used to be one or two of them begging or playing accordion outside the shop with the post office here. They did a few distraction robberies on oul dears after collecting their pensions until they got ran.
Pretty despicable stuff.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Giselle Scary Hoe wrote: »

How do you know she's anything like the one you saw.
Do you generalise much.
And how are people so sure she's Romanian. Not all Roma are Romanian. In fact some are Czech and they work hard in regular jobs.
I know this because I know some of them.

Hang on and relax a bit. I never mentioned Romanian (the OP thought perhaps). But, as you have raised it, the lady at our post office is Romanian, sits with the big issue , says "good morning" and then begs for change. I said, 'if' she's like the one here. I did not generalise on, or comment about any other, Big Issue sellers. But the woman here uses it as a cover for begging, which is not the ethos behind the magazine, which I have bought many times from genuine homeless people. Every hour or so a man arrives in a car to this lady and takes whatever cash she has collected. No generalisation on my part, just a specific situation.

Cordell

drake70 wrote: »

Romanian or Romany Gypsy?

It can be Romanian Romani Gypsy. That is, Romanian born citizen of Romani descent caring on the Gypsy ways.

pgj2015

benjamin d wrote: »

It's a way to get homeless people working. "A hand up, not a handout."

It's a great idea IMO, I always buy one if I see a seller. The magazine itself is awful sh1te though.

ok, you buy a magazine to help the seller out but now you have just told us all how $hite it is, so you are not gonna do the sales any good. I would have told the loud mouth woman to keep her opinions to herself, bullies should be stood up to.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^^^

so? doesn't mean he didn't run out of diesel

9or10

AMKC wrote: »

What is the issue with that Big Issue magazine anyway?

Read one a few years ago. Loada shoite.

Widdershins

Your wife was right to say it calmly to shouty woman, OP.
I'm much slower to judge people who have public outbursts now though. It can be the ugly face of depression or grief. Not fair on those who are on the receiving end of course.

Loon E. Tick

It's better to go grey rock with these type of people. If you feel you need to say something, just repeat your objection or comment in the same non-agressive, non-conflictual tone and then just walk away. You can't reason with an emotionally unbalanced person with a disproportionate reaction.

benjamin d

pgj2015 wrote: »

ok, you buy a magazine to help the seller out but now you have just told us all how $hite it is, so you are not gonna do the sales any good. I would have told the loud mouth woman to keep her opinions to herself, bullies should be stood up to.

It's not about being good or not, it's about people trying to do an honest day's work instead of lying on the street with their hand out. If I saw a homeless person selling any honestly obtained, reasonably priced token item I would buy it. It helps people gain a sense of worth when life is ****ting on them. Who cares if the magazine is sh!te?

Hammer89

Andy From Sligo wrote: »

She said "good morning" to this middle aged lady in front of my wife and this lady starts effing and blinding to her and saying "you want to get off your arsé and get a proper job for yourself!"

Pretty sure the other lady posts here.

Your Face

It's far better just to say nothing, do nothing and complain in private with people who will always agree with you.

Sorted.

Neames

All that effing and blinding....

What's the big issue....

No seriously what is this big issue that you speak of.