I wake up in the morning.....

Jobs OXO

......and I raise my weary head and if I haven't had a sexy time during the night with yer wan beside me I always have a fap to start the day !

What's your morning ritual ?

I woke up one morning
The sea was still there
And so was the sky
The sea the sky the sea the sky

Fiery mutant

Generally, have a ****, breakfast, shower, go to work.

Danco

...the alarm gives out a warning, I don't think I'll ever make it on time...

Mister Vain

In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

myshirt

Sh't, shower, shave.

Ted_YNWA

When I wake up in the morning & i jump straight out of bed ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIIWKA_h12Q

gifted

I'd say Hugh Heffener would love to reply to this...lol lol




Apologies I couldn't resist it...

dastardly00

I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving the house

RobbingBandit

Stroke my cat and put her back in her box, and wonder for the rest of the day is she dead or alive and then remember until I open the box again she is both.

King George VI

Wake up, look at memes, have a wash, get ready for work, go back to bed and look at more memes, contemplate whether or not I need a job, go to work.

floatwinner

Bowler hat on head...

12gauge dave

Feeling like P Diddy

Neames

Get out of bed, do my business, rush down stairs to let the dog out to do his business, rush back upstairs to persuade my kid to get up, give her breakfast, drop her to school, head to work, make tea, read emails.

_Roz_

Get out of bed, shower, let the dog out, brush and dry my hair, get dressed, gather my things and go. Sex may occur at any stage up until getting dressed, unless I've gotten it the night before, which I usually aim for as otherwise I miss my bus. Get bus, do most of my daily reading on the bus, go to work.

branie2

I get up, have my breakfast, and wash and dress myself

branie2

And I wash my hands before breakfast

eviltimeban

Make a cup of tea, and put a record on.

Ragnar Lothbrok

branie2 wrote: »

And I wash my hands before breakfast

After reading your many, many contributions to the thread about fapping, I'm delighted to see that you wash your hands before eating

Boom_Bap

Reach my hand outside the bed, hold it there and then let the cat start rubbing her head off my hand.
After that it's wee time, then teeth time, then shower time, then clothes time, then wake up the kids time, then feed the cats time, then make breakfast and lunch time, then roar at the kids to tell them to get dressed time, then roar at the kids to tell them to get dressed time,
then roar at the kids to tell them to get dressed time,
then roar at the kids to tell them to get dressed time,
then roar at the kids to tell them to get dressed time,
then roar at the kids to tell them to get dressed time,
then roar at the kids to tell them to get dressed time,
then eat time, then get in the car time.

HalloweenJack

Piss, make breakfast, walk the dog then get started with whatever work I've got to do.

Malari

Let the cat back in and give him breakfasts (and usually drugs), then shower, get dressed and have a leisurely breakfast while reading my book.

At weekends, get up an hour or so later and have breakfast with my husband while watching tv.

I love mornings.

Ragnar Lothbrok

1. Blindly fumble for my glasses
2. Bathroom for cigarette number 1, then shower, teeth and get dressed
3. Downstairs for cigarette number 2 outside back door
4. Breakfast & read book for 30 mins
5. Cigarette number 3
6. Drive to work

I convince myself that a healthy breakfast of porridge/weetabix will compensate for the three smokes

pxdf9i5cmoavkz

7:50 - Wake up
7:51 - Shower
8:00 - Exit shower
8:04 - Dress for work
8:07 - Prepare breakfast
8:09 - Enjoy some memes while nomming on breakfast
8:17 - Brush teeth
8:19 - Kiss wife goodbye
8:20 - Pack lunch
8:25 - Exit front door

The weirdest part of my day is that alleged 1 minute between waking up and heading to the shower. It always feels like only 10 seconds have passed.

gnarbarian

Nettle Soup

I play Prince.

Go to 3:00 to watch pure genius teach lesser geniuses...

_Kaiser_

Workdays:
- Alarm goes off.. mute it anywhere up to half an hour, get up, stumble to toilet, have shower, get dressed and shave etc (I hate shaving.. seriously, there needs to be a tablet or something).
- Finish getting ready and hit the road.
- Get to work and have a latte and pastry while looking through the Inbox

(OR if Working from home.. get up, toilet, fire up laptop.. see what's happening. Check in with the team. Then go for shower/get dressed etc. Bowl of cereal for breakfast)

Weekend:
- No alarm. Get up around 10ish. Toilet, shower, dressed. See what football is on TV later. Maybe do some shopping (in general I hate weekend shopping so only do it if still early enough), usual domestics (cleaning, washing etc)
- Enjoy the lazy day as I see my little fella on my other day off and he keeps me more than busy!

retro:electro

Wake up. Check my phone. Pee. Let the dog out. Boil the kettle. Shove on the toast. Eat. Let the dog in. Shower. Brush teeth. Get dressed. Do make up. Leave.
Exact same every single morning except some weekends.

Martina1991

08:40
Get up
Bathroom
Dressed
Make Up
Hair
Phone, wallet, keys
08.50
Leave for work at 09:00

sbsquarepants

Deleted User wrote: »

I woke up one morning
The sea was still there
And so was the sky
The sea the sky the sea the sky

I love that the wise old elf thanked this post.:D
But both the post and the thanks will most likely be lost on people without kids!

Weekdays I wake up around 6:30, get dressed, make a cup of coffee and leave the house.

Weekends I wake up around 6:30, get dressed, make a cup of coffee and stay in the house.

I like to mix it up a bit:cool:

sbsquarepants

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I love that the wise old elf thanked this post.:D
But both the post and the thanks will most likely be lost on people without kids!

Surely everyone knows "big balLOOOWEN, big balLOOOWEN" at least.

Baby TV has far better music, from classical to some really neat ambient house.

branie2

For breakfast I have bread and marmalade

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I wake, turn on the radio for the local death announcements and, if they don't read out my name, I get up.

JollyBustard

6am. Wake to alarm blaring. Fumble for 'off' button. Roll back over
6:15am. Sneaky second alarm starts going. Fumble for 'off' button. Roll out of bed to ground.
6:17am. Crawl to shower
6:40am. I AM ALIVE AND OUT THE DOOR I GO TO START MY PUBLIC TRANSPORT COMMUTE... I hate weekdays.

Neames

I stumbled out of bed
I got ready for the struggle
I smoked a cigarette
And I tightened up my gut
I said this can't be me
Must be my double
And I can't forget, I can't forget
I can't forget but I don't remember what

fmpisces

Weekdays: 7 am - alarm goes off, get up straight away, bathroom.
call the young lad then I do my makeup and hair.
7.15 am - call him again and this time he HAS to get up! I'm still
getting ready at this stage.
7.30 am - Get the breakfast ready and his packed lunch,
brush teeth and out the door at 8.25 am. Drop him off
at the bus stop then I go back home, do a few jobs
round the house (clean out range, restock fuel, iron next
day's clothes, run over the house with hoover, sometimes
prep the day's dinner - peel veggies) then check emails
if I've time.
10.25 am - Leave for work.

Noveight

The alarm goes off at 7:45 and I'm out the door for work at 8:30. 10 minute commute is sweet!

Rubberlegs

....... usually around 7am to the sound of get up Mam, get up Mam , get up Mam , get up Mam, get up Mam, now Mam, now Mam , now Mam, Maaaaaaammmm!!!

If it's a work day then I more than likely wake about half an hour before my alarm. I spend that half hour on my morning think. Will I drive or get the choo choo? Am I sick? Could I maybe not go in today? If I get a later train then I could get a taxi at the other end. This means more bed time. Ah feck it I'll get up now and get my usual train.
I love my job but also bed.

Once up I pee. Have a wash. Iron clothes if needs be. Then rummage for tights and underwear. It's at this point I will notice a hole in my tights so must innovate with socks. Get dressed. Pick a scarf only to realise everything is now blue. Change scarf. No time to do makeup so that gets done on the train or when parked up.

On no work days I get up whenever I like or not at all Maybe I'll get dressed, maybe I won't. No set routine at all with those days.

RoisinClare6

I only work Mondays and Tuesdays.

5.15 alarm 1 goes off...snooze
5.30 alarm 2 goes off... I'm up

Pee
kettle on
Make the boyfriends sammichs, his morning coffee for when he gets down stairs, make his coffee for the van, fill up the flask.
..talk to himself for a bit
6.00 kiss himself goodbye

If I'm working I'll stay up grab a cup of tea get ready and leave at 8.10

If I'm not working I go back to bed for a couple of hours.

Ragnar Lothbrok

From next week my morning routine will be slightly different.

I'll be in beautiful Bali for three weeks for my daughter's wedding :):)

No idea what my routine will be, just wanted to annoy the sh1t out of my fellow Boardsies with their mundane morning routine stories

Ragnar Lothbrok

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

From next week my morning routine will be slightly different.

I'll be in beautiful Bali for three weeks for my daughter's wedding :):)

No idea what my routine will be, just wanted to annoy the sh1t out of my fellow Boardsies with their mundane morning routine stories

I hope it all goes according to plan and everyone has a fantastic time.

I'm not jealous at all. Honest!

Ragnar Lothbrok

Candie wrote: »

I hope it all goes according to plan and everyone has a fantastic time.

I'm not jealous at all. Honest!

Well, apart from the "imminent" volcano that I've been hearing all about for the last two weeks, I'm expecting a great trip

Ragnar Lothbrok

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

Well, apart from the "imminent" volcano that I've been hearing all about for the last two weeks, I'm expecting a great trip

Of course it'll be great, you're going to Bali in October when the weather is wet and turning miserable in Ireland!

Sure if the volcano goes up it'll only make it warmer for you! I hope your daughter has all the happiness in the world.

Day Lewin

Stumble downstairs, pee, coffee. Blink blearily. If in doubt, more coffee.
What day? Oh yeah. Later, maybe.

Ragnar Lothbrok

Candie wrote: »

Of course it'll be great, you're going to Bali in October when the weather is wet and turning miserable in Ireland!

Sure if the volcano goes up it'll only make it warmer for you! I hope your daughter has all the happiness in the world.

Thanks Candie, that's a lovely sentiment

TomSweeney

Mister Vain wrote: »

In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

Perfectly timed with the perfect username !!

:D

Sleepy

Wake up at 8ish, shower, shave, dress, kiss the wife goodbye and out the door to take the kids to school by 8:30.

Baraics Pollox

Alarm goes off at 6:15, then another at 6:20, then again at 6:30.

Usually reach over and paw my girlfriends face to alert her to the fact that I have to turn on the light, I usually leave my hand over her eyes to ease her into the light while being blinded myself when it comes on, feel like a hero.

I then get dressed and head to the bathroom, pee. Over to the sink then and look at myself in the mirror thinking "jaysus you look rough". As I'm a night time shower person I splash water on my face to wake up and fix the duck arse of hair at the back of my head.

I head downstairs and say hello to the guinea pigs, sweep out their cage and give them fresh food/water/hay. Stumble into the kitchen and prepare the breakfasts while herself preps the lunches.

Have cereal, brush the teeth, spray deodorant and out the door.

It's great fun.

Jobs OXO

TomSweeney wrote: »

Perfectly timed with the perfect username !!

:D

Whoosh