Post Breakup depression

CharlotteY

This is very long story so apologies in advance! Basically I met my ex boyfriend during my first year in college and we were very happy together. He always suffered a lot with depression and anxiety and during our time together I encouraged him to start seeing a counsellor. We were together around 7 months when he started going through a very rough time. But he always remained very affectionate and caring. He used to worry that his depression would push me away one day and that I'd change my mind about him but it never did. He would talk about how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and even talked about how he thought we were soul mates. About two weeks after he said those things he became very down and very distant. I knew something was up, as he wasn't affectionate anymore and wouldn't open up to me about his feelings claiming I didn't understand. I eventually had to push him for an answer as to what was going on and if he didn't feel the same way and he said he couldn't be in a relationship right now with all that he had going on but he didn't want to be with someone else and I understood. After two weeks he said he'd made a stupid mistake and still loved me but then changed his mind again the next morning. After this happened he was also very upset and said he still wanted me in his life and I wanted to be there for him so we still talked and met up to chat every now and then. During this time he would be quite affectionate, holding my hand and kissing my forehead and when I questioned what this meant and how he felt he'd get upset and say he didn't know what was going on and felt pressured. However I was heartbroken when I realised he was seeing someone else and was in a new relationship less than three months after we broke up. I had suspicions that he had gotten with this girl but anytime I questioned it he said he couldn't do a relationship and then would tell me he actually missed me so much and wished everything could go back to how they were. This girl now hates me (according to my friend) as she believed that while they were seeing eachother (before they were officially together) me being in contact with him and questioning what his affectionate actions and "missing me" meant, was my plan to break them up, when he kept on claiming they were not together and just a once off thing. He didn't tell her or his friends that he had been saying he missed me and they all think I was being intense and messaging him all the time after apparently he finished things and said he didn't want to speak to me. He asked if we could still touch Base every now and then but when I sent him a message wishing him the best he didn't reply and blocked me on social media, as did his new girlfriend. It's nearly a year now since we broke up and I'm still not at all over it and don't understand how someone could change their mind so quickly. He's still the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night, I'm completely heartbroken and paranoid about what lots of people think as he told a very different story. I also feel like he hates me which is also killing me since he's blocked me on Facebook. I only ever tried to help and care for him. Can anyone relate to this or give me any sort of advice on how to get over this?

Spear

You should post this in the personal issues forum instead:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127