How to deal with anger?

LegacyUser

How do you deal with anger towards people, especially when you've tried to talk to them about it and they flat out ignore you or don't listen? I find anger just eats me up alive but sometimes I feel I have no outlet for it, and it just festers inside me, I'm carrying it around with me everyday, its really painful to be holding this inside.

I've tried venting to friends etc in my life but i feel that people grow tired of that, and I'm conscious of heaping all my crap onto them. Also sometimes people don't react the way I'd like/say the right things and I feel invalidated. I know that it's hard for them to mind read, I know that's unreasonable of me to expect everyone to say the perfect thing, I'm just being honest in how I feel. I don't really have many people I'm close to anyway.

lazybones32

Go off to an isolated/lonely place and scream your anger out.
Beat the **** out of a pillow.
Write about it.

Ursus Horribilis

Anger management classes?

Teyla Emmagan

Go and see someone and talk about this. Because​ most people don't carry anger around with them all the time. Sounds like you need help processing your emotions.

Big Bag of Chips

Ok999 wrote: »

How do you deal with anger towards people, especially when you've tried to talk to them about it and they flat out ignore you or don't listen?

It's unclear what you're angry about. As for people ignoring you or not listening when you try to talk to them about bring angry at them, that all depends on how you approach them. If you're angry, it's reasonable to presume you go at them angry. That automatically puts people in the defensive. And your anger towards them is your emotion to deal with, not theirs.

If you find yourself being angry with a lot of people, and you find most people ignore or avoid the subject with you, then you might want to look at whether your anger is the problem, rather than the actions of other people.

As mentioned, most people don't go around with pent up anger festering in them. Of course people can get angry at people or situations but, for the most part it should be a transient emotion. Without context its difficult to advise. We don't know is this anger at everyday things, that some people wouldn't be bothered about, or is it anger at a history of bad treatment by particular people.

Either way, as you are seeing, your anger is only affecting you. Others don't pay much attention to it. So you need to learn how to manage it, regardless of other people.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

AidanadiA

I feel like I could have written this post 6 years ago. I was in a horrible place and when I tried to talk to people they turned what I said towards me, I was the unreasonable one.

My mum became very concerned with my boiling anger and wrote me a letter about her fears for me. I still have that letter and I take it out every now and again, just to read her words.

I went to counseling through the HSE, it wasn't the best but it was a start. I took an honest look at my life and how I was living and found that a lot of my problems were with who I was. I kept up with the counseling, meditation and I cut out as much of my life that was affecting me as I could and took a healthier approach.

I cut out certain people, drinking, certain activities (they were causing emotional harm). I started writing again, changed my job made more of an effort with good people in my life.

Looking at my life now,
do I still get angry- yes
do I carry it around with me- no
does it affect me daily- no
can I articulate my issues when I have them- sometimes?

I wish you luck and offer only what was offered to me- get professional help.

LegacyUser

I used to be angry at an ex with the way things ended with us and I was very down in myself and it was a vicious vicious circle. I agree with the others here with counseling but may I suggest something else. It may be daunting to go to counseling and until you make the first step towards that, I would suggest working on yourself through a hobby. Also to keep at it. A hobby that has scope to be creative and it will in turn feed your soul with happiness. Whatever interests you. Perhaps writing or music or art or painting or woodworking or crafts and needlework like knitting, crochet and cross stitch.