Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

No idea what to do

  • 07-09-2017 8:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am in my late 30s and have never been in a relationship. I have recently started talking to a woman at work - she is probably in her mid to late 20s and from Southern Europe. We would start and finish our shifts at the same time, so we started to run into each other on the way into the office, at lunch time and on the way home at the end of the day.

    It would get to the stage that when we would see each other in the morning, she would have a lovely bright smile and wave at me and we would have a quick chat on the way in. We got to the stage of having longer talks if we ran into each other at lunch or after work. It got to the stage that before I went away for a week's Summer holidays back in August and was telling her about it, she embraced me. I was surprised at that as I am normally a bit reserved and didn't expect that. I didn't want to read too much into it.

    All of the above occurred over about 3 months. I thought that I would try to ask her if she wanted to meet for lunch. I plucked up the courage to ask her. She didn't say yes or no, so I thought it wiser not to push it and for the next week, tried to stay out of her way because she was a bit cold when I ran into her the following morning, and then this week, she was all smiles and waves when seeing me again.

    I am useless at reading signals from women and embarrassed myself a number of times before. Should I just keep it to hellos?
    Tagged:


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Depending on how it was worded, either your lunch suggestion or her not taking you up on it could have been a misunderstanding, but if was clear both ways, I would say you have your answer. If you want to get to know someone, you take the chance to spend time with them.


  • #3
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    I'd let this one go for now unless she gives you any intimations that it'd be something she'd be interested in, then go back to it. But take this experience as a positive! So many other threads on PI have people who can't pluck up the courage to ask someone out to their face, and for good reason, it's tough! You manned up and did it. No reason why you can't use this momentum and move forward!


  • #4
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    I think she understood your intentions and has declined as politely as she could.
    You took a ballsy step- a lot of guys would have to drink 7 pints before doing what you did.
    Let it go. But don't let that be your last sttempt with a woman.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thank you for the replies - it makes sense! It will just be hellos to her from now on.
    I just hope that I will be able to read the signs better next time.


  • #6
    cloudatlas
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,711 ✭✭✭cloudatlas


    JohnSmithsBitter wrote: »
    Thank you for the replies - it makes sense! It will just be hellos to her from now on.
    I just hope that I will be able to read the signs better next time.

    'She didn't say yes or no, so I thought it wiser not to push it and for the next week'

    What did she say instead of yes or no?


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    9or10
    Closed Accounts Posts: 664 ✭✭✭9or10


    JohnSmithsBitter wrote: »
    Thank you for the replies - it makes sense! It will just be hellos to her from now on.
    I just hope that I will be able to read the signs better next time.

    From your posts I don't read you did anything wrong or misread the signs. She showed interest, you asked, she passed - nothing lost.

    Better to have asked than to always wonder - what if?

    Good Luck.


  • #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    cloudatlas wrote: »
    'She didn't say yes or no, so I thought it wiser not to push it and for the next week'

    What did she say instead of yes or no?

    Maybe it was a language issue, I don't know - she just mentioned that she likes to walk around at lunch listening to music and changed the subject. There was no point in pushing the matter.


  • #9
    cloudatlas
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,711 ✭✭✭cloudatlas


    JohnSmithsBitter wrote: »
    Maybe it was a language issue, I don't know - she just mentioned that she likes to walk around at lunch listening to music and changed the subject. There was no point in pushing the matter.

    Ah okay well I think your instincts to just keep it friendly are correct then. It sounds like she is interested in a friendship and no more but still like everyone else says it took guts to approach the situation the way you did, as a fellow shy person I know how tough it is.


Advertisement